


The Doctor Inside

by Charlie0831



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Doctor Who Fusion, Alternate Universe - Slavery, Dark Doctor (Doctor Who), Eventual Smut, Gallifrey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:15:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 66,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22316194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charlie0831/pseuds/Charlie0831
Summary: My first Doctor River story. This is an alternate universe of course so please don't compare it to anything lol Its based a on a Gallifrey that uses human slaves to represent the power of the highborns.The doctor has been forced into getting his own slave to prove himself amongst the council. He soon comes to learn that this is no ordinary slave as she slowly teaches his heart how to beat warmly once more!The Doctor (11) is dark in the beginning and called Theta, and the Master is Koschei...Jack is well, Jack.Amilia pond is Gallifreyian in this just so you know....dont want to give too much away...but i guess its a bit of a slow burn and there will probably be some smut at some point further along.Input good or bad is greatly received as it helps me to understand where i go wrong...and i always do lol! x x
Relationships: Eleventh Doctor/River Song, The Doctor/River Song
Comments: 50
Kudos: 52





	1. The Market

“Another party Koschei?...Seriously?”

“You know how Rassilon is Theta. As much as he hates to admit it, he knows that he needs you to be on side with his ruling as Lord High President. You are after all his successor as Lord President.”

Theta sighed heavily, he hated having to put on a show for public appearances and even more than that... he hated having to wear those ridiculously stupid red robes with the highly elaborate, insanely uncomfortable collars...he felt like a bloody peacock.

“You and I both know I'm no ruler Koschei and I don't want to be ...Rassilon is an arse and he only pretends to favor me because he has no other choice about the matter!”

Koschei smiled naturally….he was used to his friend's hackles and his vocally persistent whining about the council and their so-called requirements...He would have expected no less from the man he practically grew up with. 

“You won us the Time war Theta...what do you expect public opinion to be?  
The Doctor should be High President already according to them, you know that!  
Rassilons hanging on by a thread and he will do anything to maintain his power over the likes of you. These appearances with you though prove you both united and on side with the council and its laws…. even if it is all a farce. He wants rid of you that's for certain and one wrong move by you and he’ll see you banished from Gallifrey for good. “

Theta shook his head , running his fingers through his hair, while huffing in obvious annoyance.

“Fine... just fine...I'll be there…happy now? Just don't force me to speak with the council like you did last time and keep all the bloody public away from me...i hate when they swoon like I'm some sort of god they want to Mind Blow. And I'm saying this for the last time Koschei, do not call me The Doctor in my Presence ever again...that man is long gone and I don't want to keep having to remind you of that fact!”

Koschei smirked, 

“As you wish Theta”

He moved to leave but turned before he managed to open the door having found something else he could delightfully agitate his friend with.

“Oh and just one more thing before I go...any news on a slave yet?”

Theta cursed not so silently much to his friend's amusement and paced to the window overlooking Arcadia and the mountains beyond. 

“I told them I didn't need one Koschei...i have Jack. Argh... Why can't they get it through their thick skulls that i do not want or have any kind of need for a stinking human ape in my home... not now and not ever!”

Koschei walked over and placed a gentle but firm hand on Theta's shoulder…

“You have to prove loyal to the Citadel my friend! All the other Council members have at least one human slave in their possession I have three lucky pets myself.  
People have already started talking as to why the Lord President has chosen not to comply with legislation. They think you may secretly hold some sort of softness or favor for the humans. You know there are pockets of resistance out there who would wish that to be true and they will force that theory out there upon others to spread their efforts further, hoping to infect the masses with their insistent protests!”

“They just won't give up poking me with a stick will they?”  
He fumed ...” ok ...fine...fine I’ll go to the market tomorrow ok...satisfied now?... I hope they're satisfied with that and do not require me to pose with the thing for public appearances too...i would rather sit in a pen filled with Pig-Rats while slapping my own face with a Yaddlefish!”

Theta turned away from the window and crossed his arms angrily, it was barely midday and he already wanted to slam his fists through the wall.

“Now leave me be for Rassilon's sake...all you ever do these days is deliver me either confounded annoyance or bad news...Do not come back to my private sanctuary unless i will like what it is you have to say to me Koschei!”

Koschei laughed feeling pleasantly amused at his friend’s blatant moaning ...but giving him a cheeky pat on his back to wind him up further before he retreated to the pit of the Devil.

“Aww don't be like that my good friend...human slaves can prove quite useful actually...your Freaky man Jack will certainly be excited about a new pet.”

“Hmm... yes...and he can be responsible for the bloody thing too because I’m not involving myself with such loathing nonsense. And don't call him Freaky for goodness sakes...how many times do I have to tell you? Now please just piss off Koschei, I’ve had enough for one day”

“Piss off?...is that Earth talk or something?”

Theta scowled daring his friend to speak one more word.

Koschei left chuckling to himself as Theta sighed turning back to look out to the hills beyond the city, dreading going to market tomorrow and bringing a sodding human back into his home. That was the last thing he needed.  
Being housed with the enemy made him feel sick to the pit of his stomach at such a thought. He tried not to dwell on the matter too much...hopefully he would barely know it was there! Jack, on the other hand, would be doing backflips when he found out.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“What about this one?”

“That one looks exactly the same as the last five you that you liked Jack. They all look the same actually...dirty, stinking, pathetic sniveling human apes….Look, if we’re going to do this it needs to be done properly ...I don't want one that’s going to cry and urinate all over the floor in fear and not do a goddamn thing to maintain our home. Most of these slaves have been broken too much, they would probably die within a week. Wheres the fresh meat for goodness sakes Jack?”

Jack shook his head, feeling annoyed and rather upset about how Theta spoke of the human slaves as if they were nothing but dirt on his shoes. He understood the losses his keeper had suffered over the years and even his hatred to a certain extent. He always held out the hope that his Doctor would return to him someday as the man he once knew and loved before the storm of darkness consumed him.  
Perhaps this was the chance Jack had been waiting for...he just needed a slave that was going to shake the ground they walked...a slave that could wake him up and break the curse of anger and despair that enveloped his now broken black heart!

”Well I wouldn't know would i?...I’ve never been to the market in well…. Everrrr. This is the first time I've been allowed out in over a year Thea and people are starting to notice and stare at me. Can’t you see them giving me quite a selection of evils... it's giving me the shivers and not the lovely erotic kind. Yeah...most of them are drop-dead gorgeous eye candy but I'm pretty sure if I give them my favorite famed Harkness Wink that they'll hang me in the square by my testicles for it.” 

Theta put an arm around Jacks shoulders protectively, having just noticed the plentiful stare’s that Jack was receiving from numerous respectable red cloaks...It took the Time Lord years to become accustomed and comfortable in Jack's presence.  
Every day in the beginning was a painful struggle to be in the vicinity of someone who felt so entirely wrong.  
Jack shouldn't exist! He was a fixed point...immortal...and very bad news where time was concerned. It actually hurt to look at him in the beginning.  
However, Theta would never let anyone take Jack from him or hurt him in any way...not since the days that Rasillon had held him prisoner in the black tower of the citadel and tried to exorcise it out of him in a variety of cruel and creative methods.  
Theta protested and was venomously outraged that they had even tried to suggest Jack as the Gallifreyan Hybrid prophecy come true and a possible threat to Gallifrey itself. Finally, after much persuasion and persistence that would threaten to rip the council and its close followers apart, Theta eventually managed to bargain with Rasillon over Jack and made his claim clear over the creature they could not rid themselves of.  
There were rules and boundaries put in place of course by Rassilon. He still had to maintain some piece of dignity because of his embarrassingly failed attempt to eradicate Mr Jack Harkness from the existence of time.  
But for now, at least, Jack was safe and as the man known to the whole of Gallifrey and the universe as The Doctor, nobody dared challenge that.  
Jack, after all, represented the last bit of The Doctor that Theta had left. He would never admit it to anyone of course, not even to himself ... but Jack...well Mr Jack Harkness represented the last bit of hope he had left, and Theta clung onto him frantically like a plank of wood bobbing along aimlessly in the Untempered Schism. 

“Never run when your scared Jack. They won't hurt you while I'm here... and besides this is an important decision. Your home all the time so we need a pet you can handle and get along with to a certain extent. I’m not going to be responsible for choosing an absolute brainless blob of flesh that can't even boil a Trunkike Egg correctly. That's all I'm saying”

“You love my Dippy Trunkike Eggs Thea”

... He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively before he continued... 

“ and you can dippy in my Trunkie whenever you please, Oh Great Lord of Time!” 

Jack then gave a flirtatious wink that always made the usually pale Timelord turn an uncharacteristically shade pink like an Earthly Flamingo.

“Jaaack...do you know where we are?... Behave or I will be forced to have to sell you in the unwanted pets section!”

There was some commotion going on over in the far corner of the market and some quite distracting verbal growling that drew people's attention quickly away from the other slaves and well...from Jack too.  
Jack's eyebrows raised intrigued and he grabbed Theta's arm and yanked him along behind him like a reluctant child as his mother shopped for groceries.  
Theta rolled his eyes knowing that Jack craved any form of excitement however little it may be and even if it was a small scuffle in the slave market, it was enough to set his friend's overactive enthusiasm into overdrive.  
He indulged him begrudgingly into watching the little yelling show before them knowing that the poor big guy didn't get out much and deserved a little treat of this strange freakish entertainment. 

When Jack eventually forced them through to the front of the crowd they saw a rather large Slave Master with his baton trying to force what looked like a feral female slave into her cage.  
She was black with filth and who knows what else and as naked as all the other slaves that surrounded her.  
This was how slaves were sold in Arcadia...people needed to see the size and strength of what they were buying after all and especially if they were marked or physically damaged in any way.  
The women's braided hair was tied back, though the color of it was indistinguishable and just as dark and dirty as the skin that hung off her bones.  
The only way you could tell females and males apart in this horrific state were breasts and penises... or lack of for that matter.  
This female was having none of it however and growled wolfishly as her Master pulled on the chain aggressive and annoyed by her blatant stubborn refusal to do as instructed.  
The chain that held her was attached to a rather tight collar around her neck...but even this failed to restrain the livid creature from attempting to evade the cage before her.  
She was wild with outrage and kicked the baton out of his hand furiously and unphased by his immense size and power over her small delicate frame.  
Another Slavemaster stepped in eventually ...well after he'd finally finished laughing at his friends failed attempts at regaining any form of control over the wild woman in question.  
He shook his head but still highly amused by the amateur slave trader. Then with no more self-restraint as a bystander placed his electric proddy thing directly into the center of her shoulder blades.

She screamed out in pain and keeled over in obvious immediate shock at the sudden bolt of lightning that had just melted her skin causing spasm.  
Opportunity struck while she was momentarily dazed and they both grabbed her failed limbs to shove her into the small square cage as quickly as possible before she had a chance to revive.  
She regained her self quickly nevertheless and lunged at the opening for one final attempt to escape its confines. The door slammed shut and she growled and screamed bloody blue murder shaking the cage from side to side like a crazed rabid animal that needed to be put out of its misery and fast

Jack turned and smiled to Theta with a glint of mischief in his eyes that Theta knew all too well.  
Theta’s eyes enlarged...and he swallowed looking once more at the wild female ape currently attempting to bite the bars of the cage that contained her.

“You can not be serious Jack...this thing...this thing is crazy ...it would be no use to us whatsoever and it will definitely not boil me a Trunkike Egg that's for sure ...It will probably kill us in our sleep i tell you…..No...no, no, no...!”

The puppy dog eyes were out now...Jack's Ace card played very nicely indeed... Oh and was that a pout...

“Please Thea...you said they were all the same and weak...but look ...This ones strong...its the cage she fears...i can see it in her eyes. She just needs a kind hand Thea...and shes not an it or a thing, just as i am not a Freak. She's just a human Thea. She may surprise even you if you give her half a chance!”

“Your too soft Jack...”

He made it sound like an incredible choir to say “SHE” but Jack felt ridiculously pleased that he’d got him to regard her as an actual living being…

“When, `SHE`... bites your sodding fingers off and gives you whatever rabid lunatic disease she obviously possesses, don't come running back to me for a replacement pet. I never want to see this bloody stinking market ever again Harkness ...She's in your hands and I want you to teach her to be quiet, stick to her job’s and keep her the hell out of my face. Are we clear Jack?”

“Crystal Clear Boss”

Satisfied with the result from his pleading puppy eyes and pouting, Jack smiled smugly to himself.  
And no... he wasn't clear at all. 

The cage and its contents were delivered to The Lord President's Mansion later that day.  
The Slave Masters were not willing to risk this particular slave be let loose in the open once again to be walked home by its new Master on a leash. Especially not The Lord President.  
It had been embarrassing enough just to get the nutcase back in the cage in front of the rather impressive crowds.  
Jack led them through into the entrance hall, then took the ownership papers that were handed to him straight over to Theta who was simply stood watching the ridiculous scene unfold with his arms crossed tensely by the doorway to his office.  
He sighed heavily, feeling resigned to his fate and took them out of Jack's hands placing the papers on his desk while directly grabbing the new radius restrictive collar Koshei had enthusiastically organized for him. 

The woman in the cage was silent now, very unlike she had been only hours before.  
She had obviously been drugged to some extent since they’d seen her earlier he mused.  
The two men left having finally completed their timorous mission, felt obvious relief that they eventually got rid of that crazy female critter by the looks on their faces.  
Jack stood by watching carefully as Theta approached the new exotic resident to their home.  
He dropped the shiny blue-collar through the bars of the small box cage that imprisoned her.  
He looked hard and stern at the woman as she eyed him warily but still with a hint of surprising defiance about her, despite the situation.  
He pointed and spoke with assertive authority...sharp enough to make twenty dogs sit in a row.

“Put it on slave” 

Jack stepped forward sensing Thetas biting hostility to the poor woman had already begun…

“Theta perhaps we should….”

Theta looked at Jack with his serious `Stop right there stare` and Jack took a step back swallowing nervously...not for himself... but for her.

“Pick up the collar Slave and put it on.”

She looked to the collar beside her knees carefully, then gazed back up to him as weighing her options carefully...however limited or nil they were.  
A thinker ...slaves weren't meant to think...they were meant to just do...why wasn't she doing?

“ It's the only way you will ever be allowed out of that cage ya know...unless you would prefer me to sink you and this confounded contraption into the lake at the bottom of my gardens...the choice is yours ape...i suggest you choose quickly”

After a second or two of unfathomable deliberation, the woman sighed and picked up the new shiny collar clipping it securely in place above her old one. It made a small beep as it locked itself.  
She bore no visual fear of this new strange environment or of its people and she swiftly looked straight back at Theta with a scowl.  
Her gaze was firm and locked as if attempting to submit him into taking the first blink.  
He was actually quite surprised and secretly startled at how well she held her gallant leer upon him.  
He always thought himself rather impressive with his oncoming storm look and most people cowered in his presence when he presented it.  
But not her, no.  
She bewildered him...he found himself begrudgingly intrigued...but shook the notion away as quickly as it came...Slave. Human... Ape!  
Her eyes were amazingly green with flecks of gold beneath their varied depths of emerald and Alexandrite...he tried not to dwell on how rather incredible they actually were.  
Most if not all slaves were nervy and looked away from the masters that stood formidable above them.  
Not her though. For this strange new creature was constantly taking in everything of her surroundings and the people within it. Every detail, movement, and sound was carefully being cataloged and processed to what end he did not know.  
But Theta could see she was clearly more intelligent than he had originally presumed.  
He lifted his chin, definitely interested but unwilling to deal.  
Reminding himself ...Enemy! 

“Hmm, I would have gone for option two slave...you must be a sucker for servitude!...ah well, anyway back to business before we lose track...however much i wanted to see you sunk into the depths of my glorious red lake. Now you may go anywhere in the house with this collar... but step outside and `boom`... it will be immediately activated to detach your head rather quickly and efficiently from your shoulders. Please feel free to try it if you must...I won't mind in the slightest...you didn't cost me that much credits!.”

He sighed exasperatedly as if progressively tired or appalled of this heavy-duty task before him.

“Nod if you understand woman”

The slave nodded.

Theta pointed behind him…

“This is Jack, he is responsible for you and will teach you everything you need to know.  
He is idiotically soft and a pushover and will treat you stupidly kindly no doubt and will therefore never hurt or abuse you in any way shape or form”

He pointed his finger sharply just inches away from her nose near the bars

“However,... i will warn you only once ape. You are never to disrespect or challenge his authority in the slightest slave and if sense for just one second that you are taking advantage of his ridiculous kindness or disregarding any of the rules that are set for you then you will have me to answer to. No second chances in this house Pet!  
Nod if you understand”

The slave nodded still maintaining her ferociously fierce eye contact that threatened to burn a hole straight through his Time Lordy cranium...It was rather disturbing actually, however mesmerizingly amazing her eyes literally were.

“As you can see, I'm not so nice and you will do well to keep your distance from me. I will have no qualms against whipping you into submission if you even attempt to do anything I do not favor. You do not speak to me unless given permission to do so… and you are definitely not allowed to enter the East wing of this house. Those are my private quarters and they are out of bounds to one such as you.”

“Nod if you understand”

The slave nodded and Theta stood up...walking away unable to stay within her powerful presence a torturous moment longer. Christ she did make him blink first?

“All yours then Jack..!”

Jack's shoulders finally relaxed after Theta had finished his little show of dramatized authority and left.  
He paced to open the cage wasting no time in offering the weary newcomer a hand and the sound of a gentle voice. 

“Hi, I'm Captain Jack Harkness, pleased to meet your acquaintance… Miss..?” 

He hoped he was right and Theta was wrong ...(please don't rip my arm off and give me crazy rabies`). 

Her hand reached out tentatively as though her fingers may get bitten in the process, but as the warmth of Jack's fingers enveloped her own she sighed pleasant surprising relief.  
She cleared her throat a bit as though it had been a long time since she had spoken without having to scream ...it probably had been.

“River...River song”

Jack beamed already delighted with uncontained enthusiasm as he helped her crawl out to finally stand freely on somewhat shaky legs. 

“What a beautiful name Miss Song and i bet your just as beautiful in person when we finally get you all cleaned up aren't you? Not that Thea would notice, but I have a very good sense when it comes to eye candy even when it is covered in many years worth of dirt and grime. Come on I'll show you to the bath’s lets release that hair and shampoo the fucker with the whole bottle of Moonlight Bloom wash.

She laughed rolling her eyes at Jack's obvious flirtatious nature.  
He had immediately put her at ease and she could sense how genuine and thrilled he was to actually have her here. It felt strange in contrast to the other member of the household she had met...the one who looked furiously angry already eager to sentence her to death in his blood-red lake.  
She had to be careful around that one...he was liable to snap her neck where she stood if given half the chance...even if there was a brief glimpse of pain and sadness behind his eyes.  
She couldn't trust him.

Jack prepared the luxurious Gallifreyan bath like she was a princess and held out his hand as she climbed into the tub nervously.

“You're shaking a bit River...are you alright?”

She slowly sank into the heat and bubbles taking it all in best she could whilst trying to maintain her prided self-control as she always felt the need to.  
It felt unreal being here surrounded by sudden warmth and comfort...and even a friendly face...it was all a bit overwhelming if she were honest.  
A real Gallifreyan tub where the foamy deliciously scented water flowed constantly like a stream, always fresh and clean, eradicating the filth before it ever had the chance to linger. 

“Yes ...um ...thank you Jack. It's just...been a long time since...well since i was allowed to bathe like this i suppose!”

Jack's eyes briefly darkened and he sighed it away as he took her hand carefully and gently ran a cloth across her skin obviously determined to help wash the filth that didn't belong on such a magnificent specimen.  
It wasn't sexual in the slightest and she was surprised at how at ease she already felt around this man known as Captain Jack Harkness. All he seemed to want to do was look after her and make her comfortable...perhaps she was his pet and not the other man's...it was all a bit strange.

“You may bathe whenever you like here River...Theta may seem harsh to you i know...but deep down he's a good man ...or he was once upon a time. Your safe with us. Just do as he says for now and he’ll soon come to see that you're not as bad as he thinks you are. Your a smart one Riv, you'll soon figure him out. “

River smiled

“Ah, I see your an optimist aren't you Jack?”

He grinned, 

“Hmmm, well i like to think so...but a sexy one yeah?”

She giggled, liking this man more and more with every second that she spent in his presence

“Yes Jack...you are pretty handsome no question about that...but...is...is that what you are to the Master Jack... are you his Mate, his err bond? You don't wear a collar, but your touch is warm so I see you are not Gallifreyan as i first thought...”

Jack laughed aloud and began to work on River's other arm and shoulder.

“His Mate…” He mused ...” he does have a nice arse though... did you notice?”

He laughed more at the idea and couldn't wait to tell Theta later...

“He’s a bit of alright to look at Riv but no...he's more like a brother to me! Did i say he had a nice arse? Shit... that's borderline incest that is...oh well what can i say he’s a hottie...anyway your right I’m not Gallifreyan, I’m human...from the 51st century as a matter of fact...was born on the Boeshane Peninsula.”  
He sounded proud about that...and living here and now on Gallifrey, he had every right to be. 

River looked puzzled over the fact as she quietly brooded and Jack could already see the cogs in her mind trying to figure things out.

“I’m not a slave River...i’m a friend of Theta’s and he takes care of me because I'm not allowed to leave Gallifrey. They won't allow it, so I’m in his charge. You see...I'm ...well... I'm wrong to them Riv...something happened long ago and i was changed. I can't die. I am now what they like to call a fixed point in time ...they couldn't kill me because I’m immortal ...and believe me, they all tried in a variety of creative ways...it was pretty impressive what they came up with actually” 

Jack swallowed heavily at the body shuddering flashback and stopped his washing of Rivers back to look at her again whilst trying to regain focus of the present. 

“I’m stuck here too Riv...i may not wear the collar like you, but I'm still very much a prisoner in this house!”

She lifted her hand to caress Jack's cheek tenderly. This was the first time that she felt the need to touch someone in such a long time and Jack leaned into her touch like he hadn't felt another persons care for so long either.  
He understood her and she understood him.  
They were clearly on the same page in their sorrow but at the same time, it felt good. For the first time in however many years, she had finally found a friend, someone perhaps to confide in eventually.  
They looked at each other for a moment until Jack suddenly noticed the old tight collar below the new one and the rawness of her skin that surrounded it. 

“Here let's take this horrible thing off Riv...it looks sore under there, I'll grab you some cream when you get out and also put some on that burn on your back too, i don't want that getting infected...those bloody light prodders should be illegal with the damage they inflict ...believe me... i know”

He carefully unclipped the older collar that claimed her throat and she winced slightly but felt better when the blasted thing was taken away...lighter even. 

“You finish up here Riv and I’ll be waiting for you across the hall. There's a pile of clothes on the stool near the sink and a bag of women's bits and bobs i thought you may need...i had a blast spending all Thetas Sky Card Credits ordering stuff”

He began to walk to the door to give her some probably much needed privacy…

“Jack”

“Yeah?”

“Th...Thank you Jack..!” 

He beamed at his new sexy woman friend all naked and vulnerable in the tub and gave her a cheeky wink in return.

“My pleasure gorgeous...my pleasure!”


	2. under pressure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit more River/ Doctor time...yey...but sorry he's a moody git! Thank god for Jack !!
> 
> Let me know if it's going ok so far...i'm a bit unsure about this .... Hence the chapter title lol

Theta paced his office feeling itchy and disturbed by the presence of a human slave in his home...a home that was supposed to be his sanctuary, his own personal hiding cave for goodness sakes.  
He silently cursed the council and Rassilon and even Koschei for his insistent nagging to hold favor with them.  
Perhaps he should just let them exile him off-world and be done with it all... wouldn't that be for the best anyway?  
They would undeniably leave him with nothing but his skin no doubt and how could he expect to survive as a lone Timelord stranded for all eternity on a barren planet without so much as a Tardis in reach.  
The Tardis. Oh his beautiful blue girl that had painfully abandoned him so many years before by sealing her doors from his own crying heart.  
Oh how he missed the whispers into his mind. The conversations they had, the arguments...never where he wanted to go but always where he needed to be.  
He longed so much for their unique connection once more. Im Sorry!.

Theta dwelled depressingly for a moment on his beautiful blue box, after a brief hesitation he sighed and picked up the ownership papers that Jack had handed to him earlier when his unwanted delivery had made its appearance.  
He proceeded to give them a quick scan...

Name… 426 …  
Species Human, bla bla,  
Location 20th Century Earth, bla bla...Leadworth 01..bla bla...  
Sex Female...well derr obviously….  
Ownerships 8th….

huh, what? 8th???

Cursing, Theta got up and marched straight to find Jack at the other side of the rather large mansion. He found him sitting in the spare reading room pretending to look intelligent with a book in hand. Probably trying to impress the new roomy no doubt.

He stormed over and slammed the ownership papers down over the book in his lap pointing...

“8th Jack…”

Jack picked them up quickly wondering what the hell he was on about.

“8th what Thea?”

“We’re her 8th sodding owners that's what Jack. The woman has clearly been passed around like woprat because she is highly un-trainable and quite frankly a twistedly unhinged individual. Ohhh I knew this was a mistake, i knew i shouldn't have listened to you!”

Jack threw the papers aside uninterested as if it were the sports page and not page 3. Scoffing at Thetas silly little tantrum, while shrugging his shoulders.

“So your lucky number 8... big deal. If they were anything like you no wonder she left...I can't believe they just give them numbers as names it reminds me of the cattle markets on Aramuko...The sickos “

“She didn't leave Jack...shes a slave with no rights whatsoever as a matter of fact…. they had to get rid of her obviously, you idiot!”

Jack chuckled to himself...

“Ha ... that's what you think!.... Riv’s a smart one and if she doesn't want to stay somewhere she won't...trust me...she's a class act that girl!”

Theta stopped his heavy-duty pacing and stared down to Jack still sat in his chair all calm as a cucumber and with annoyingly no concern about psycho they currently held in their mitts...  
Theta cleared his throat a bit...

“Err...Riv?”

Jack smirked at Thetas puzzled expression

“River Song...beautiful name isn't it?... Unique just like the woman behind it ...You would have known that already Thea if you would have just simply asked her politely and not attempted to put on that scary little freak show you insisted upon. Was that scripted by the way...did you have to practice that in the mirror? Because honestly,... I had chills!”

“Oh shut up Jack, this is serious!”

Jack's eyebrows raised and he whistled outrageously as the woman in question suddenly appeared in the doorway...stopping instinctively when she caught sight of Thetas back.  
Jack stood agape and Theta turned to see what the hell he was looking at his mouth ajar with shock at the vision before him.  
He swallowed. Hard.  
Jack wasted no time in shouldering Theta out of the way to get to River taking hold of her hand gallantly, like a prince to a princess.  
She wore a simple plain Gallifreyan Smock to the knees and wore sandals upon her feet. Her hair now washed and released from its bonds burst a thousand spiral tendrils in wonderous gold and sand.  
Her skin was flawless and lips were rosie calling out to be kissed and even her eyes were more mesmerizing than before if that was even possible.  
The small cute bump on her nose made your fingers itch with interest and longing to tap the end of it cheekily.  
And looking down over her curvaceous body to long toned legs that could probably grip a human tight and trapped close to her body..probably...hopefully...definitely! Best not to mention those suckable toes! 

Theta was lucky he was a Timelord and high above any nonsensical primitive needs or desires that other lesser species may foolishly succumb to. Yes, he wasn't so easily swayed by her tricky womanly wonder that shone more brightly than all the stars put together in the universe themselves. That's right... he was beyond this... this human...this...this woman thing...he was very lucky indeed he told himself as his mouth still hung like a codfish!

“WOW...i mean,...wow” 

Jack almost burst with awe...

He took the lead as any charismatic gentleman would and twirled her under his arm and around in dance much to her confusion and slight embarrassment.

“Stunning Doll...i can't tell you what I'm thinking right now...absolutely stunning. I knew there was something special about you. Gorgeous...don't you think so Thea?”

Jack stopped his eye fucking for a minute regrettably because he would definitely be getting back to it later and turned to Theta...who was stood stock still like a statue under the woman's silently cast spell.  
He cursed himself inside and drew his lips together tightly as sudden anger engulfed him,. He growled at this unwanted invasion of his senses and marched right past them to the doorway...Trying his best to ignore the new smell of sweet meadows in a summer breeze with a hint of delectable honey and tea as he passed through the air of her intoxicating aroma. 

“I’ll be out until late...i don't need dinner Jack...don’t wait up!!”

And with that... he left abruptly. The slam of the main door echoed its way through the house violently with a shudder!

Jack sighed as he went to grab the cream he had already set out on the unit near the wall for Rivers neck.  
He turned to see her looking away cast down, whilst chewing on her lip thoughtfully to herself. 

“Give him a few days ay Riv...he’s a complicated guy...just needs time is all!”

She shook her head... 

“Were all complicated beings Jack...but sometimes the time we get just isn't enough!”

He placed some cream over his fingers and walked behind her brushing her hair aside as he applied the ointment gently to her neck. 

” Yeah I suppose you're right...but i have faith in him Riv...he's not like the others. If only you knew him before all this...all the good he as done...all the lives he has saved...and I'm not just meaning Gallifreyans ...other species... humans too. He used to love Earth with a passion you know.

River laughed at Jacks almost fanciful like tale …

”He hates humankind Jack... it doesn't take a genius to work that out!”  
...She sighed…  
”but whatever, I'm here for a purpose and not to impress or be impressed by anyone...just tell me what I need to do to get by and I’ll do it ok?”

“All work and no play... is that how its gonna be now Miss Song?”

River rolled her eyes but smiled affectionately at her new flirty friend.

“You're incorrigible Mr Harkness...but can’t say i don’t like it!”

Jack showed River around the house and where she could and could not go.  
Then he showed her to a seat at the dining table where he made sure she ate something decent off the plate of goodies he had already carefully prepared earlier in the day.  
She nibbled and struggled with the amount he encouraged, but didn't eat as much as Jack would have liked…. her stomach obviously not used to such a varied nutritious diet.  
Finally, he showed her to her own private quarters to settle down for the night and the look in her eyes when she noticed a proper full-sized bed in her room with lush plump cushions and luxurious quilt, both pained and delighted him at the same time.  
She sat down gingerly on the edge of the bed looking bewilderedly around her very own room as if it were encrusted with gold and diamonds.  
Jack told her to not worry about getting up first thing in the morning to start chores as this was her first night here. He wanted her well-rested first and they will go over a few things throughout the day as and when for her to learn the schedule ...no rush.  
He finally said goodnight respectfully alas also reluctantly after already being entrapped by her mystical snare.  
Though as he turned to leave she called out to him….he turned only for her to hastily wrap her arms around his rather broad waist and stood on tiptoes to kiss his cheek in such a gentle gesture of gratitude and love that it brought tears to his eyes.

“Good night Jack”

He tried valiantly to compose himself before pulling back and giving a gentle nod and smile while leaving the comforting warmth of her sweet embrace.

River tossed and turned through the night on the strange comfortable bed with the covers twisting and wrapping around her legs in unbearable bondage.  
She wasn't used to such opulence, but night time was always more of a choir than the day that followed it.  
Nightmares always threatened sleep and she did not succumb to it so easily.  
She had been sold to no less than eight High born Gallifreyans and five of them were actually Time Lords but still, she felt no closer to finding the Doctor or the Tardis than when she first originally started out on this quest.  
She needed to get to the Citadel and soon for she felt her strength wavering more often than not lately...it was only a matter of time before she succumbed to this miserable trapped existence for all eternity.  
She hoped she could find answers with this new Time Lord, `Theta`... he was The Lord President apparently from what she gathered from the Slave Masters chatter...Although strangely, he didn't dress very much like a Timelord in his plain trousers and shirt.  
In any case, if he wasn't her ticket into the Citadel then nobody was. She had to focus now, stay focused because she could be close. She had to remain positive.  
That positivity soon dissipated after about another hour of maddening shuffling and she climbed out of bed, throwing the covers off with a huff. 

The house was still and quiet as she padded along the floor to carefully creek open the door, feeling pleasantly surprised to find it actually unlocked.  
Were these men asking to be killed by her or something?... Was this a test she wondered?  
She continued her brooding as she tiptoed barefoot silently like a ninja through the darkened halls of the mansion and came to the great big library she had past intrigued with Jack earlier.  
She softly grazed the books in awe delicately running her fingers along their beautiful intricate bindings as she walked to the beckoning beam calling her through the window overlooking the City.  
She sat herself down plainly on the large wide window seat leaning herself back against the side of the walls whilst bringing her knees up to hug to her chest, instinctively wrapping her arms around her legs protectively like a child.  
She tilted her head and gazed out and above the city to the plentiful stars above and the two magnificent moons that brightly luminated the night sky.  
Gallifrey really was quite a beautiful sight to behold. She sighed and almost surrendered to its calming presence and closed her eyes to rest a while...tired and worn to the point of exhaustion but still fighting off sleep as much as she could bare. 

“Do I need to put a lock on your door?”

She startled as her heart dramatically flew from her chest, like a panicked deer crashing herself into the corner of the window seat with a gasp. Her eyes wide with the shock that had seized her as she clapped eyes on the overbearing shadow of her master seated merely a few meters away.  
Unknown to her Theta had been sat in the heavenly ornate chair by the finely carved fireplace brooding alone in the dark... he had been watching her in an unnerving silence since she had entered the great grand library.  
He himself still recovering from his own shock at their fortuitous meeting.  
She was quiet and still, almost frozen in place…  
Theta sighed and stood, walking over to her until his body eventually illuminated when he entered the light of the stream through the window. 

“Well??... Speak!” he demanded with overbearing presence.

She gathered herself and cleared her throat although still unable to move and obviously expecting a beating of some kind. 

“I’m sorry Master...i...i didn't know...i meant no harm..i just...!”

“Well Obviously…” He spat ...” there are no knives in the Library if you intend to kill us...but then again I’ve always considered books to be the greatest weapons there are. Wouldn't you agree... 426?”. 

He eyed her suspiciously, but she maintained her gaze now having swallowed the unexpected fear in replace of her blanketing stubborn facade.  
Defiant and stupidly headstrong. He noticed the switch immediately but said nothing. 

She lifted her chin high and spoke with considerable confidence as if she were his equal. The Cheek of this human.

“You could say that i suppose...but to be honest Master... I just like the smell of history... it tickles my sinuses!”

He couldn't help the smirk that betrayed his fierce outward demeanor looking out over the vast view River had been staring upon just moments before.

“Hmm.. yes...i know what you mean!”

There was a brief moment of silence and stillness that consumed the library with radiating tension.  
Theta was confused at himself...he shouldn't be engaging with this...this slave in this way. Why hadn't he sent her to her room yet or scalded her irate with the promise of no breakfast for sneaking about the house at night?  
Although more disconcerting was how he felt in her presence, it was like she willed calm across is outrage like a cool comforting spray over his smoldering burnt flesh.  
A strange alluring aurora encompassed her?... Who was this human?  
He felt...well he wasn't sure.. but there was something about her...something unusual.

“ Why are you awake at this unconsiderable hour...are you not scared of the shadows that lurk in the darkness 426?”

She shrugged her shoulders, stating as a matter of factly

“I've loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night!”

His eyes shot back to hers with a start…as he swallowed heavily, his Adam's apple bobbin...

“Why did you ...that's ...um ...`The Old Astronomer`, to his pupil…. 1868...yes?”

She silently nodded. He looked back out to the stars as he continued with what she noticed to be sudden sadness over his features.

He cleared his throat a bit...

“My best friend always held great favor for that Old Earth poem... how odd you speak the words to me that she once spoke. Such a small universe it is 426...Alarmingly so”

She chewed on her bottom lip a bit unsure whether or not to offer something personal along with her response...but in the end, she couldn't help the words that wondered uncharacteristically away from her memories like falling petals.

“my mother...she...she used to read it to me as a child”

Theta looked down away from the stars and closed his eyes as if willing away whatever torture tormented him.  
He didn't acknowledge her divulgence with a vocal response, although it was clear from his solemn cast that he had absorbed her personal disclosure like a sponge. 

She watched him sigh heavily then walk away as if to flee his unease. As he approached the doorway he spoke without turning.

“Choose your weapon carefully 426...for you will find no such wondrous words in this library, I guarantee it.”

And with that, he left... fading away into darkness once more.

River barely saw Theta over the next five days, he was out of the house most of the time and when he did return, he never spoke and tended to avoid her presence none too discreetly in fact.  
Jack was a joy on the other hand. He was incredibly funny and constantly amused her with his flirtatious nature and outrageous comments.  
Theta was sat in his study with Jack while River prepared dinner when there was a chime at the door.  
Jack came through to answer and as he swung open the door, a man entered marching straight past without so much as a single syllable and headed straight towards the study as if he already knew where to expect Theta.  
River only caught sight of his back and the flight of the billowing red robe that followed behind him.  
Jack came through to the kitchen to gather some drinks for Theta and his new unexpected guest...she quickly noticed he didn't look impressed by whoever this was! 

“Can’t leave him alone for a week the bastard...why can't he just give the guy some goddamn peace for a change?”  
He grumbled primarily to himself.

River stopped slicing the vegetables as she carefully watched Jack's tense frame pouring dark liquid into a pair of beautiful Gallifreyan glasses. 

“WhoJack...what do you mean?”

“Oh...sorry...it's Koschei...Thetas childhood friend and second...or butt-kissing advisor if you like. Don’t go near him Riv..he’s gone through about twelve slaves I’ve heard of and it didn't end well for them...the guys a nut job, a real piece of work! “

She nodded understanding as Jack placed the drinks and a bowl of colorful nibbles routinely on the tray, taking them straight to the study. .

No surprises to Jack that they were already arguing as he entered.

“Koschei... the Slave has been here for barely a week and now your asking me to parade her around citadel for the annual council communion as if she were merely a new wardrobe accessory. That’s not going to happen...tell them I said No!!!  
...Oh...um, thank you Jack !”

Jack placed the drinks on the desk ignoring the look of disgust in Koschei's eyes… as he went back to his station in the corner of the study to continue his work. 

“Yet again, there is no option here Theta, this is an order from Rassilon himself...you are required to produce your slave at this event to prove yourself once and for all of your allegiance to the council and in doing so disclaiming the ridiculous claims of the resistance about your disdain.”

Theta pinched his brow …a familiar headache already brewing  
”she’s bloody untrained Koschei...i need more time to prepare her.. this is bloody ridiculous this is!”

Koschei laughed so deviously that it made Jack's blood boil with revulsion. 

“Oh come now Theta...don't tell me you've had the mindless little ape for nearly a week and it doesn't respect you” 

He sighed playfully  
“Always too soft, I keep telling you Theta…ohhh very well, fine...give me two days with the servant and it shall be putty in your hands I guarantee it!” 

Jack wanted to shout unpleasantries and fly across the room on a rampage throwing a fist mercilessly in the face of their regular yet unpleasant guest. The restraint he was frantically holding onto like a burning rope over a bed of nails was clearly wavering as the scriber in his hand snapped a little too loudly for all to hear.  
Theta flinched at the sound behind him, then cleared his throat a little.

“No...that won't be necessary... thank you Koschei, but... I'll deal with her...it…i mean it!”

Koschei smirked…

”Aww her?... And I so wanted to play with your new `she` pet...where is she by the way? Your first-ever slave it's a wonderful thing... better late than never i suppose. You must show me ...i must see what extravagant delight you chose!”

“She’s too busy making food!”

Koschei's eyes immediately sought Jack’s with knives…  
”Nobody asked you, THING!”

Theta stood with eyes of thunder.  
“That's enough Koschei, his name is Jack and you will mind your tongue in my house. Now leave us...my slave is busy right now as Jack has already explained to you, therefore, you will get to see her at the communion along with every other insistent red cloak.”

Koschei merely rolled his eyes taking one last swig of his drink before placing the glass back to the table. 

“Oh when will you ever lighten up Theta” 

He put his hand up mockingly…

“fine..fine I’ll go, but if you ever have any problems with the new human my offer still stands...it wouldn't take long and the end results would be Spec-tacu-lar.”

Both Theta and Jack shuddered at the thought.

Koschei left and Jack saw him straight to the door, obviously not trusting him to go snooping around hoping to spot sight River.  
He then marched right back to the study with intent, barging through the doorway with purpose.

“You can't take her there Theta...you mustn't!”

Theta ran a hand through his hair already expecting this from Jack, to say he was already incredibly protective of this woman was an understatement.

“What would you have me do Jack?

“Well... I would have you grow some big hairy balls for starters!”

Theta sighed heavily...

“It's not that easy...I have to maintain appearances however much I detest it...you know that. I could risk everything Jack, my position on the council which I hate with a passion as you very well know, but it’s what's required in order to keep my family home safe, my life on Gallifrey and not to mention your safety Jack!”

Jack slammed his fist on the table in burning anger

“FORGET ABOUT ME... AND FORGET ABOUT YOURSELF FOR ONCE IN YOUR GODDAMN LIFE...I’M SICK OF THIS STUPID SHARADE. I’VE BEEN PATIENT AND HELD MY TONGUE FOR LONG ENOUGH ...YOU NEVER USE TO BE THIS SELFISH DOC...YA KNOW AMY WOULD HAVE SLA ...”

Theta stood abruptly screeching the chair along the floor as he did so...

``.DON'T YOU DARE ...!!” 

Jack shook his head exasperate but silencing himself into some sort of calm before taking a breath.

”ya know if your really going to do this Thea...you actually have to speak to the girl. You can't expect her to submit to you if you can't even bear to be in the same room as her for more than a minute at a time. I'll organize the proper attire for her when the time comes but I'm not explaining anything to her...that’s your responsibility and on your head be it. But listen and listen good…. don’t you dare hurt her Thea and if you let Koschei or anybody touch her, I swear to god...!”

Jack left the study shaking his head but the tenseness in the atmosphere remained as Theta put his head in his hands. He had no choice now...he had to communicate with the woman... a Dalek would be easier to handle!


	3. The FireBird

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theta `The Doctor` is starting to crumble in this chapter as River starts to weaken his walls unknowingly.  
> Keep me posted with feedback good or bad. Does this make any sense at all LOL

The next day River was having a break in the library, eating lunch upon her favorite window seat while Jack sat across from her reading loudly from a rather erotic Gallifreyan book that he’d found on the back shelves in what he deemed to be the unwanted section, explaining the mating cycle of humans.  
She laughed at his entertaining performance as he made fun of the rather terrible but informative antique manuscript.

“So I take it Gallifreyans don't do that very much... even for fun??... Where’s the fun in that Jack?

He smirked knowingly

”I know right….i mean, mind fucking is all very well and good but these people don't know what the hell their missing with their anti shag pompous idiocy’s.  
She laughed more…”Seriously Riv.. their a messed up species if ever there was one!”

Theta cleared his throat from the open doorway after watching the clearly relaxed and friendly interaction between the two humans, however uncomfortable the subject matter may have appeared to him.  
He walked in when they both looked to his direction with question.  
Well no...Jack's exterior was more in amusement hoping that Theta had heard every word and by the pink tinge in his face as he approached, eyeing up the book in Jack's hand wearily...he clearly had.

“Jack... I wondered if I might have a word with...err 426 a moment”

Jack snapped the book shoot and looked across to River who was trying her very best to swallow the bread now starting to lodge like a stone in her throat.  
He glanced back to Theta who had his hands by his sides in tightening fists, clearly having a battle with himself as he stood uncomfortable almost nervous before them.  
This was hard for him, he knew, but Jack was insistent on throwing him in the deep end so to speak and intended to make it even harder. Best way to learn he figured!

He gave a wink at River who flushed slightly.

“NoPe!” 

Theta took one more step forward almost cautiously, Jack smirked.

“Jack, ya know I have things to discuss. I need to get started with this...there isn't much time to get things in order to some sort of formality!”

“Hmmm, I know...but you can't speak to a number Theta... and what are you addressing me for when River is right here next to me...are you blind or something? Go on... ask her...ask her properly like any normal gentleman would, n next time bring us chocolates or flowers or something.”  
He tutted ...rolling his eyes.  
”honestly it’s like schooling a child!”

Theta huffed looking away for a second clenching and unclenching his fist’s, Jack was clearly teasing, but still, he felt his heart’s quickening their pace and closed his eyes briefly to focus on the required task ahead of him. HER. 

He forced a smile and looked to River who had now stopped eating and looked increasingly as tense and insecure as he felt...the complete opposite of how she was with Jack mere moments ago.  
It kinda stung that did, she hated him...as she undeniably should do.  
Theoretically, It wasn't meant to hurt, he was a Master, she was a slave ...but it did...it did hurt. Allot. 

“Could I please have a word ..um 42…

“Ahhhheeeeeee” 

Jack made a peculiar squeaking noise cutting him off.  
Theta paused to look at him with raised eyebrows. To which Jack returned the raised eyebrow gesture right back at him expectantly. The bastard!  
Theta looked back to River knowing exactly what he was asking of him.

“Err please R...River”

“There now...was that so hard Thea”

“Shut up Jack!”

This was the first time he had called her by her actual name, she was confused and unsure but really needed to hear him out she figured!

“Ok!”

Jack raised his eyebrows and stood with a smug smile…

“Well... I guess I'll leave you guys to it then. Ya don't need to borrow this book do you Thea...it has detailed pictures that you may find very stimulating?”  
He was showing him a rather large image of a vagina from the book in question.

Theta flushed and shook his head vigorously eyes wide and panicked like saucers.  
River pursed her lips hiding a giggle at Jack's blatant torment of the poor ruffled Timelord.

“Hmm very well, I’ll take it with me then, kinda like it…Feel free to ask if you change your mind though yeah...you can always practice on me if you like! “ He winked suggestively wiggling his eyebrows.

River put a hand over her mouth to stop the escaping laugh as Jack vacated the library whistling and bouncing along with delight.  
How he got away with saying such things against the Master was beyond her….their relationship was one simply fascinating to witness. 

After a slight uneasy pause, Theta came to sit at the other side of the window seat, clasping his hands together while leaning across his knees in silent deliberation.  
He looked to the floor as he spoke. He could smell her again.  
Her pheromones were intoxicating to him which was why he had kept his distance since the library...it disoriented him.  
He shouldn't be drawn to a human in such a way, it was shameful, but she was like gravity pulling him in whenever in her presence.  
Shaking his head he attempted in vain to clamp off his rather sensitive Gallifreyan senses and plowed through the battlefield.

“There will be a gathering at the Citadel in a week's time and you are required to join me there... It’s a rather an important annual communion of all the High Council members and Cardinals from other ruling houses, among other high born Galifreyans….  
As this is a very prestigious event we are required to present our slaves as submissives”  
He took a deep breath speaking with even more distaste...  
“in other words...Prove ourselves to Rassilon and to each other and the power we stand to uphold as superior beings of Gallifrey”

This was it...this was the moment she had been waiting for an opportunity to get into the Citadel to find theTardis. So what if she hadn't found The Doctor yet...this may be the only chance of escape she’d get.  
She had to focus now...take the opportunity with both hands and not look back with regret!

She bit down the sudden anticipation of what could possibly be and nodded, perhaps a little too eagerly. 

“Ok”

He looked at her incredulously...What no questions...No argument...No nothing??  
This woman had already proved herself defiant and unhinged when presented with a high level of domination and now she was what ...compliant?

“I err...i don't think you understand what I’m asking of you River...You will have to be led on a collar with a lead like a dog and paraded in front of everybody. You will have to kneel before me when i sit. You will have to remain inexplicably quiet and not look anyone in the eyes in the process unless required to do so. It sounds rather easy but one wrong move that anyone notices and i will be required to show my authority over you, to set an example ...violently if necessary!”

She swallowed at the thought...but no...she had to do this, it was the only way. Now was not the time to show weakness. Chin up, shoulders back and prove what you're made of.

“I understand Master ...teach me... I’ll listen, I’ll learn!”

They held each other's gaze intently as if under a spell, he was completely perplexed by the certainty of her words. 

“You must understand River...that i...i don't want to do this...it’s not who I am. I don't agree with it!”

“No...I don't understand, but ill do it anyway. What other choice do I have?”

Her eyes were unwrapping him with vehemence, his clothes were already toast. He had never felt so naked or lost and insecure...she was …. Unfathomable?  
He looked back down, feeling ashamed, she didn't have a choice...she was right. He was ashamed of what he had to do...what they were making him do. Yet unlike her, he still had a choice, but he was too cowardly to acknowledge it.  
He was supposed to hate humans...they had taken everything from him...every goddamn thing that he loved and held dear...yet he felt himself caring.  
Crist, what was she doing to him? 

He looked scared.  
All of a sudden the walls of defense crashed around her and she no longer saw a Master before her...but simply a man...a man adrift and alone in a sea of red blood cloaks.  
Unforeseen it was, but she felt for this man.  
She identified with the pain that flickered in his eyes as SOS to anyone who focused closely enough to listen.  
She forgot her place for a moment and reacted instinctively reaching out to place her hand directly over his.  
He gasped and froze at the touch as she did herself in actual fact...it was like an instant connection ...a spark had been lit.  
She brushed the feeling away as best she could to continue. 

“We can do this Theta...!”

He was silent and almost consuming her with his gaze, he glanced back down to her warm fragile hand that simply resided upon his larger naturally cool one...two opposites making a whole, in a far too complicated world. It felt good...it felt right.  
He heaved standing abruptly putting clear distance between them...and headed to grab hold of the nearest case of books frantic and unsteady. 

“Let's get this over with then shall we?….Finnish your lunch then meet me in the main sitting room so we can make a start with the training.”

He left swiftly without looking back.

Half an hour later and he was leading her around the living room like a poodle at Crufts.  
Two paces behind the Master and never in front.  
Stopping when he stopped, head slightly bowed ...eyes down.  
He headed for a chair and sat watching her movements closely with sharp scrutiny.  
She knelt, eyes down.

“Slightly to the side of me and place your hands over your knees as you kneel...No...no...you mustn't look up...that's it”

She adjusted herself as instructed but felt like absolute shit if she were honest.  
This was highly degrading ...even with her other Masters she was never this obedient and fought them every step of the way.  
This felt incredibly unnatural to her uncooperative nature and she suddenly felt the need to pounce on the bastard and choke him with the bloody lead that bound her.  
Taking a slow deep breath she had to quietly remind herself that he had actually admitted that he didn't want to do this... however unbelievable that sounded….That must have been true because, as determined as he was to see this production through to the end…. he looked increasingly uncomfortable with what was occurring between them. 

“Well... fuck me if you two don't look like page 62 in my kinky book of shit….can i have a turn next Riv?”

Jack walked into the room and plonked himself down on the couch leaning forward with intrigue at the unusual, slightly erotic atmosphere currently surrounding him..

Theta scowled, dropping the lead with disgust and stood running a hand through his hair almost desperately.

“This isn't a funny Jack... it's not a joke...this...this is serious. We’ll be under the scrutiny of the entire council and if she doesn't submit fully they will be looking at me to reprimand her in a way that neither of us will like!”

River stood assertively, with the lead still dangling by her side as her owner did a runner. 

“Well `SHE` is standing right here and if Jack wants to make fun of the situation then let him because quite frankly... if I can't laugh about this unbelievable humiliation then i will undoubtedly not cry and wrap this lead around your own bloody neck to see how you like it. So which would you prefer Master?”

Both men were silent as they looked to the formidable female with hands on her hips like a mother scolding her bickering children.

After a second of consideration, Theta felt the need to close the distance to River.  
He was the Master of this house and Master over her and he needed to remind her of that little fact.  
who did this woman think she was telling him how to behave, standing there all high and mighty and overbearing with her incredible beauty and lustfully eye-rolling scent.  
He was a High born Time Lord...Lord President of Gallifrey and she had the nerve to shake her head at him like he was but an immature twelve-year-old...what the hell?  
He had planned to work her up to the next bit but his pride got in the way over logic and sensitivity.  
So screw it he thought...this should knock her down a peg or two.  
He straightened his back to stand even taller against her looking down, gaze as firm as his lips. 

“Laugh with Jack if you want River but the next thing we have to do you may not find so amusing!”

She glared

“And what would that be sir...do they require a striptease... am i to dance naked and sit in their laps next?”

Jack scoffed as he watched the fascinating scene unfold, loving how River held her own with such admirable determination and how much Theta looked as if she had just thrown a bucket of ice-cold water over his face.

He scowled shaking his head, but smirked deviously…

“I'll be back in a moment”

River watched him leave then turned to look at Jack who just shrugged his shoulders apparently as puzzled as she was.

Two minutes later and Theta was back ...he was rolling the small square cage she had arrived in ahead of him.  
Her eyes widened at the sight as he stopped before her and opened the cage door smug in his actions.

“This is a funny one Jack...make her laugh about this...River, in ya Pop. “

All Jack could do now was curse under his breath as he realized... “Shit”.

As soon as he spotted the cage been wheeled in his heart sank...and Theta the bastard knew exactly what he was doing to River..they had both seen her that day at the Market and her refusal to go in the cage wasn't because she was defying her Masters.  
It was because it terrified her. 

She crossed her arms and took a small step back …

“I...what??…No!!”

“NO…Really??.....Have you any idea what they will do to you if they hear that word leave your lips River??.... When we go to the citadel before everything else begins there will be a short meeting between the council, therefore during this meeting all slaves are required to be boxed...So go on then... in ya get. “

She swallowed anxiously looking to Jack for some kind of help...she didn't know what.

Jack cleared his throat a bit understanding her gaze…”errr how long does she have to be boxed for Thea?”

He shrugged a bit as if he didn't actually care that it bothered her so.

“Don't know...not that long...thirty minutes at most i would say.”

River eyed the cage like it was about to devour her...but she had to do this, it was the only way and not only that, but this could be the escape time she needed.  
The council members will leave the slaves boxed and probably unattended for a while. If she could escape it somehow while they were busy she’d have time to make a run for it to get below the citadel and finally find the Tardis.  
Taking a deep shaky breath she edged forward bending down cautiously.  
Her face paled and her body trembled as she inched closer to the inside…  
Jack was clearly uncomfortable watching her fear as he ran a hand over his face desperately wanting to stop her. 

Theta looked down, observing the woman who’d challenged his authority and suddenly felt a wave of guilt wash over him as his self-congratulatory persona dissipated swiftly.  
He watched River struggling to remain in control of herself...it made him uneasy to see her that way...he was wrong to do it like this...What was he thinking?  
He quickly felt the need to backtrack his actions.

“River I’m sorry…. you don't have to do it right now...we’ll do it later yeah?”

She scoffed uneasily, 

“Ha.. and let you win ... don't think so ya bastard”

She crawled in painstakingly slowly, inch by unbearable inch with her heart beating a thousand miles a minute until she was finally swallowed inside the small airless coffin.  
She sat timidly bringing knees to her chest, whilst wrapping her arms tightly around herself as if attempting to halt the embarrassing shake of her limbs.

“Close the door!” She gasped.

Theta slowly closed the cage door feeling increasingly sick to the stomach as he did so.  
His sight never leaving River watching regretfully as she closed her eyes whispering incoherent words to herself...he continued to watch on uncomfortably as her breathing grew more and more erratic by the second as sweat erupted through the pores of her skin, in hasty fever. 

Jack had seen enough…”GET HER OUT..NOW!”

But it was all too late as panic surged through her body erupting itself into a spine-chilling scream.  
She suddenly failed violently trying to escape the confines that trapped her, smashing herself against its bars, while terrifyingly gasping for a breath that she simply couldn't take.  
Theta opened the doors quickly trying desperately to pull her out as Jack held on to steady the box itself from rolling with the violence of her distraught thrashing.  
Everyone was panicked.

“GET HER OUT THETA!!”

“I’M TRYING JACK ...RIVER PLEASE...RIVER STOP….”

He finally got a good hold under her arms and wretched her backwards to land above him. She was still thrashing and screaming as he tried to contain her in his arms with very little success.

“YOUR OUT RIVER…..PLEASE STOP IT ...YOUR OUT!”

“...Cant...breath ... I …...Theta ...Help!!” 

She gasped desperately for air, as the panic attack clung to her like an octopus engulfing its prey.  
She pushed him away forcefully and fell back to the floor with a painful thud to the back of her head.  
That did it.  
He wasted no time in his own recovery as he fought to protect her now and surged to straddle above quickly and efficiently to hold her still ...restraining her arms firm above her head to stop any further injury she might inflict upon herself.  
He was determined now...dropping his shields slightly to send waves of calm from his mind to hers. 

“STOP IT...LOOK AT ME...LOOK ...RIVER...LOOK TO MY EYES... I'VE GOT YOU...YOUR SAFE...I'VE GOT YOU!”

Her struggle was ineffective now as he dominated above her and his words echoed through the haze of her fight offering a single golden rope to safety.  
She eventually found his eyes locking onto hers and hushed sinking deep into the stillness of calm that they brought through his compassionate inviting and now shieldless stare...She could feel him ...soothing her mind with a tender caress. 

“That's it River ...keep looking at me...focus on entirely on me... nothing else…I’m with you.  
You're on the mountain behind the citadel...Mount Cadon River, it's so very high in the atmosphere on the unbalanced borders between this world and the next. The air is fresh and cool like the abundance of snow that tops it...Touch it with your toes like icy sand. Feel the chill of the intricate flakes that surround you and fall upon your fingers so softly like feathers that tickle your skin.  
It's so beautiful River... can you see the Cadonflood water running below the peak as it flows freely below the mountain…. It's as wild as the lush red grass that surrounds it ...i love how it flickers effortlessly in the breeze, don't you?  
Breathe it in all in River and let it fill your lungs with the promise it brings. The oxygen of life all around you...let it soothe you like a kiss of comfort from a lover ...a cuddle of compassion from a friend ...feel the air surround you and let it wrap you up like a warm blanket on a cold winter's night ... for you are not a slave to your fears River..not to me, and most certainly not to them. Your high above us all River...so very high on that mountain top...just believe it ... see it and it will be so. Do you see it?”

She was breathing steadily now...looking at him leaning above her, feeling him fill her with the beauty and light that he willingly shared...allowing her... a human to stand freely in his vision. She could breathe again ...easy and free and the air was good on the mountain.  
She felt him further still and turned in the snow to see him stood behind her protectively hands in his pockets with an endearing awkwardness of a nod and a shy smile.  
She walked through the snow towards him like a long lost friend she had finally found and stood still before him holding out her hand as an offering of sorts, though her fingers were curled in surprise.  
Theta puzzled over the unusual gesture but River smirked to him knowingly...she opened her hand and out of her palm flew a small flicker of light.  
Theta's mouth opened slightly shocked as the light grew brighter and more beautiful with each given second.  
He suddenly realized what it was he was seeing...It was a Firebird...in all his remarkably long years of traveling aimlessly through bountiful space and infinite time, he’d never actually seen one. And oh how he tried, but a bird as rare as the FireBird with a lifespan that lasted barely a minute...well the chances were always minimal at best.  
He was wonderstruck...It was mesmerizing, bewildering, glorious...and all of the above as it fluttered its flames of all different colors that existed in life and sang the most beautiful of songs that melted his heart’s with nothing but pure unprecedented joy.  
Theta looked up in awe as it danced above them with magical madness, he chuckled childishly much to rivers delight as it flapped around his head making him duck to the side. Then swiftly within seconds, the brightest and most blinding light that ever existed made him blink back to reality.  
The image of the bird still embedded behind his eyelids like a secret love note he’d treasure for all eternity.

Reality came back into focus and River was staring back at him as he stared right back at her. He still held her arms above her head but with only one had now as the other was tenderly rested upon her temples. Their faces inches apart…her breath blowing warm against his lips, making them tingle with anticipation and longing.

“How...how did you…???.”

She remained silent…biting her bottom lip nervously having only just realized that she had done something that according to Theta’s dumbfounded look, she wasn't supposed to be able to do. She was also confused by his hasty decision to lower his shields in order to help her... it was like looking at another person...not Theta. Theta was selfish and cold and angry inside ...this man was bewildering, compassionate, even gentle in aura…!

“River?”

She continued to stare up at him, while the next breath he took invaded his senses like a cannonball smashing through his dampers like soft floaty bubbles.  
All of a sudden his body released its very compromising position above her and it was all too intimate for a Timelord…  
Her lips were inviting! her scent as always...arousing. Her body perfectly warm, soft and curvaceous and longing to be touched. By Him.  
She was a forbidden treasure and oh god he wanted to mark her right now...to claim her for himself...to fill her mind body and soul.To study every inch of her like an irresistible puzzle that he progressively longed to solve.  
Desire flooded him into almost animalistic needs… BOND...MINE. 

Jack cleared his throat and they both immediately turned their heads to look at him sat on the crate grinning as all his birthday’s had come at once.

“You two look Hot...!”

Theta jumped off River quickly stumbling to gain his confused senses and to raise his mental shields with double the required fortification.  
River pulled herself up to sitting position and leaned back against the lounger. Carefully rubbing the back of her head where she banged it on the floor. 

“S sorry River...your ok now though, yeah?... Good, good, um will practice that later then yeah...i think i can help you with a basic phobia blocking technique...we’ll work on it...tomorrow ok? Um Jack she’ll need a glass of something sweet and perhaps a biscuit to... to get er... get the cardiovascular system back on track ok?.... Cold pack too ...for her head, um obviously!... Sorted...good, good.....Right then, better be off...cant stay around here all day kids ...things to do people to see an all that. Don’t need dinner... eating out tonight…. K then“

He quickly exited the room leaving Jack and River a bit stunned from the cloud of smoke currently leaving his heels.  
Jack raised his eyebrows turning back to River with a delighted smile and started to clap his hands slowly in praise!

“I knew you could do it Riv...amazing..bravo!”

River looked confused

“Do what exactly...?”

“Shake the numb bastard up a bit...its like you just slapped him hard in the face fifty times then proceeded to cup his knackers suggestively and believe me he needed it Riv...Jesus, you're good...i mean i thought it would’ve taken longer but.. wow ...you have serious talent girl. That man's a mess. Did you see his face and he didn't know what the hell to do with his hands...Damn...I should've have taken pictures...Aw fuck!”


	4. Friends?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theta is still trying to learn more about River, but is clearly being enticed out of his pit by a carrot lol.... I want a Jack in my life x...After this calming chapter, it will all start to kick off a bit...fair warning LOL
> 
> Comments good and bad appreciated x x

Theta was confused as he walked aimlessly through the streets of Arcadia.  
He had to get out of there as a thousand thoughts ran rampant through his very complex Timelord brain. All of them about her.  
He didn't focus on where his legs were taking him, only that he couldn't stay still for too long or he might have exploded from all blood surging through his body at immeasurable speed.  
Eventually, he found himself on the edge of the city looking up to the same Mountain where he and River had stood just hours before in his very own dreamscape.  
The primary question that bothered him considerably, stirring his head into a blizzard of chaos...how did she do it?  
A simple human from the 20 century able to project her own image into his head and with such considerable ease and like it was the most natural thing in the world.  
From the look of her face afterward when he’d questioned her about it, she’d looked startled...as if she hadn't been aware that image transfer from human to Gallifreyan wasn't supposed to be possible ...only viable from Gallifreyan to human.  
And a Firebird...that was even more troubling, how the hell did she even know what one was let alone what it looked like? For they were not of Earth or Gallifrey.  
After one last lingering look at the darkening mountain, he rubbed his face tiredly turning around, feeling emotionally drained but determined to take the long way back.  
He knew something was off...he could always sense it with her and perhaps he was just trying to make an excuse for his unwanted and irritating attraction to the human female...but he needed answers. She was hiding something... something important!  
Would she trust him enough to give him an answer? NO... She held more trust in Jack and he would never ask anything so personal as to compromise that trust.

Theta pushed aside the overwhelming feelings he had felt when sitting above her...or he tried to at least. It wasn't right to feel that way about a human, they were different species for Rassilon's sakes.  
He brooded...he’d never even had those feelings for his own Gallifreyan wife Romana.  
Theirs was a marriage of convenience and also demand...It was expected between two such high ranking families as it was with most high born Gallifreyans.  
He loved her yes...she was his wife and mother of his child after all and they had known each other since they were children...forced together by duty and honor, to preserve their families highly valued crests.  
They never truly bonded though ...true bonding was a rare thing. To find another's sole that connected to yours was like trying to find a lone golden pearl in the abundance of all of time and space and beyond all parallel universes. It was more a myth than reality nowadays.  
And sex well sex was simply a primitive tool for procreation. Time Lords were above such things as primal and unsophisticated as copulation.  
He’s had sex of course in his rebellious youthful days, most students had a sneaky go for research purposes of course...but physical emotional connections were considered a weakness... a flaw, of a lesser species.  
His only son Amnoni, was loomed just because it was expected of Theta to maintain connections, to provide a suitable air to protect his family's heritage, name and crest....but he loved him...of course he did.  
Amnoni was a child, a beautiful innocent child who knew nothing of business or obligation. 

He swallowed heavily as he walked...it was the humans who had taken Romana and Amnoni away from him that horrendous fateful day.  
A rogue group of slaves that had escaped the arriving transporter had hidden for months in Arcadias underground, plotting their revenge on the Timelords. It was the humans who had created the explosion at the base of the Citadel where his wife and child had been waiting for him.  
Then there was Amy, his best friend since the Academy, oh the adventures they had...as their fathers worked in the Citadel. They would pretend to visit their parents then sneak away below to the Tardises that were always locked. Well, that was all except one cheeky broken blue girl unused at the end of the line who used to always open her doors willingly for them.  
Oh the adventures they had with their beautiful Tardis.  
She took them away for days, weeks, sometimes even months and returned them a second later, like the cheeky minx she was. He missed her...he missed their connection so, so much, she had become his family too over the years. She gave him a life away from obligation and routine, she understood him, he loved her.  
It was his fault she locked her doors to him, rejecting him painfully.  
Amy had taken her alone in her feisty stubborn determination after she had tried to convince Theta relentlessly about helping the slaves, to not tarnish them all with the same brush. There is always good and bad on both sides she rationalized.  
But after Romana and Amnoni's deaths, Theta became angry and vengeful...He didn't want to listen...his reason was blinded by the persistent presence of the council, along with Koschei's manipulative whisperings.  
He had argued with her, calling her a traitor for taking the side of the humans over his.  
She couldn't take any more of his bitterness....so finally after one more blazing row, she had abruptly taken their shared blue box to set out on a mission of her own, like the stubborn wonderful mule she was.  
The box was eventually towed back two months later by Koschei and his team as he delivered the mind-shattering news that Amy was dead and the Tardis was practically flatline.  
The humans had found out she was Gallifreyan and tortured her for information until she finally succumbed to death under their bloodthirsty hands.  
His hearts turned to tar as his fury burned more swirlingly unhinged than before.  
He maniacally snapped as the oncoming storm had finally erupted and he wanted nothing but revenge on the humans. He needed to deliver retribution.  
He was impulsive, vigorously egged on by Koschei... Yes..They needed to burn.  
He set out hasty wild-eyed and delirious, as he buried his distress with a thousand atom bombs threatening to blow up a thousand worlds, heading straight to the Tardis to take him directly to Earth to seek his revenge...  
But…..she would not open up to him!  
She silenced her hums and blocked away his mental and physical pounding to shun him painfully aside like an unwanted crumb.  
Why...she loved Amy too?... Why wouldn't she help him seek retribution?  
He slid down her doors screaming and sobbing alone in the dark, he couldn't feel her, he was alone... so, so alone… 

A few months after that he came to find Jack had been captured after Rassilon's long and extensive search for the ex-time agent.  
Jack was a human yes...but Theta had known Jack and trusted him far long before all of his unrelenting pain and misery.  
He needed Jack...Amy's voice reminded him constantly of that fact...He needed someone…` don’t be alone Doctor` ….however selfish that sounded at the time, he worked to get him, it was a focus away from grief and anger at least.  
It was Jack who eventually calmed him into something of acceptance. It was Jack who had fed him when he didn't want to eat attempting to starve himself into regeneration. Jack who held him when he cried himself to sleep. Now it was Jack encouraging him to befriend the enemy no less.  
He couldn't understand. Now even his own body was betraying him into caring for this woman. Why? 

When Theta eventually entered the quiet mansion, all the lights were out as he hung his jacket by the door.  
After grabbing a quick drink of something exceptionally strong to help his nerves he headed directly to the library, knowing full well who spent these long lonesome hours there most nights, always hunched over on the windowsill in a world of her own.  
It was maddening to think that his favorite thinking room had apparently become her favorite thinking room too. 

“Do you ever sleep Miss Song?”

She jumped with fright turning to look at him, instantly taking note of his tired almost drained expression with hair all wild and messy from the wind.  
He closed the distance to sit and sigh heavily on the opposite side of the window seat beside her. 

“I try not to if I can help it…. Do you always enjoy startling me?”

“It would appear so wouldn't it?…….. Bad dreams?”

“I suppose you could say that Master”

He shook his head….

“Don’t...please don’t. You and I both know that I'm no Master in this house...It would appear that I just don't have the stomach for it.”

She was quiet but nodded studying him like an interesting artifact she couldn't identify.  
He braved another question even through the intensity of her gaze, while wishing he had downed two drinks of the heavy stuff, not one…Fiddling nervously with a thread on his shirt.

“How's your head!” 

She laughed…

“As if you care...don't worry you’ll still get breakfast!”

He looked up quickly, almost hurt by her response… No, in fact, it did hurt...why couldn't she be with him like she was with Jack?  
Of course he knew the answer to that question...after all he had threatened to sink her to the bottom of his lake along with her presently household entrapment through the risk of decapitation...but still!

“Hmm, I suppose I asked for that didn't it?”

She noticed the frown and sadness in his eyes...Immediately feeling guilty for her snappy response, but didn't know why she should.  
Even so she felt the need to apologize.

“Sorry Ma...Theta...my mouth often gets me into trouble...it runs away with me sometimes. I shouldn't have disrespected you like that...you've always treated me fairly ...considering!”

“Nah, It's ok that you speak your mind...kinda like it actually... your like Jack in that respect!”

She smirked as they sat through another awkward round of silence.  
Theta shuffled a bit.  
She prepared herself for the next question he was about to fire...he was clearly after something...she could tell.  
He turned to her directly, his gaze was intense…

“How did you do it?”

She puzzled over the question…”what?”

“The the bird...how did you place it in my dreamscape like that? You're from the twentieth century, yes?... It shouldn't be possible!”

She opened her mouth to speak.. then closed it again before trying once more. 

“I didn't know I was doing anything ... I just...i just wanted to thank you for helping me and thought of the bird.”

Theta brought a hand up to rub his chin still puzzled but beyond delighted that she was talking to him like this…

“Hmm...ok...well... how do you even know what a fireBird looks like?”

He was digging now and River suddenly realized that she was in deep trouble...she could see now through the intensity of his stare that the firebird she used in the dreamscape could not have been made up.  
Theta's vision that he had shared with her were born from his very own memories. Probably from having climbed the mountain at some point in his youth.  
She wasn't supposed to have a memory of a firebird...not many people did in actual fact...most definitely not a human, that according to him... had only ever stepped foot on Earth and Gallifrey.  
She was one of the lucky few that had spotted the rarity only by wonderful chance with her mother and father as a child when they visited Antar one summer.  
Shit...what could she say now?

Shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly ...“Saw it in a book!”

She even cringed at her own words knowing full well that he was no fool.  
He laughed at her attempt though, shaking his head with raised eyebrows. 

“Try another one”

She leaned back resigned and wordless…

Theta pursed his lips, all seriousness pursued as he puzzled over the one and only brooding question engulfing his mind...

“Who are you River Song?”

“.....Nobody important”

“I’ve never met anyone that wasn't important before!”

She scoffed...

“Perhaps you think me important because of this”..... She pointed to the collar around her neck and he winced at the statement ...” I am your property after all”

He looked away rubbing his brow...there was no way she was going to trust him, no way she would ever offer any form of information about her apparent telepathic abilities.

“Hmm, you know me so well I guess...”

She frowned…”Jesus...you confuse me Theta...i don't understand you in the slightest!

”The feeling is mutual Song”

She sighed...

“Sometimes you look at me with so much hate and anger that I can already feel the knives piercing my skin with victory...when other times you look so......”

“I don't hate you River...I hate myself and take it out on you!”

“But why...what have i ever done to you?”

He looked out of the window but wasn't focused on anything in particular...

“Humans took away all that I held dear ...They killed my Wife Romana and my only son Amnoni . Two years later they tortured and murdered my best friend, the only one I ever trusted and in doing so they took away my wings of freedom too... so I hated them for it ...all of them”

River took a deep breath finally understanding at least some part of her confusion surrounding this man...  
She spoke tenderly.

“I'm so sorry for your Family Theta and for the loss of the friend you held dear…but that wasn't me Theta...it wasn't…. You can't blame an entire race for something because of the horrendous actions of a few! …...A Timelord killed my mother and father….i watched it happen as a child ...i was eleven…. I had nobody else ...I had to learn how to survive on my own and yes... I would love to hunt down and kill the one responsible for their deaths... I can't deny that ...but i would never blame you for his actions just because you're a Timelord too!”

Theta nodded looking at her with much understanding and mutual sympathy, they had both lost so much over the years...they were the same in that respect. 

“I know you're right...it's just ...i didn't want to hear it because I couldn't make it better, even as a blastard lord of time i could turn back the clock. But yes... you're right and I’m sorry about your parent's River and I’m so sorry for what they did to you, nobody deserves that, especially not you!”

She rolled her eyes, a habit he was starting to be quite fond of ... “again not your fault...but thank you anyway Theta!”

The next thing he did surprised her pleasantly as he held out his hand rather abruptly. 

“Friends?”

She smirked immediately taking his cool hand in hers to shake.  
He genuinely smiled at her in the open for the first time, not hiding behind his dreamscape and it was the most beautiful sight she had ever seen in her life. The firebird was clearly demoted to second place after that little gorgeous grin. She felt happy...it was strangely euphoric.

“Friends!”

The next day was spent mostly with more lead work and so-called slave etiquette if there was such a thing. It was made easier this time though as both River and Theta felt more at ease with each since their small little chat.  
Jack had noticed the change straight away as he amusedly noted a few random smiles and glances exchanged between the two over lunch and tea breaks.  
He even stumbled upon Theta looking dreamily over his book at her as she baked magically in the kitchen.

“Good book Thea?”

“What...oh...oh yes...it exceptional Jack”

“I never knew you were so talented”

“Huh...what?”

“Its upside-down boss…..”

Jack walked past chuckling to himself as Theta flustered to turn his book the right way.

They left the cage practice until the evening, but River couldn't help that she was already starting to become agitated about it.  
Jack took her hand as Theta brought in the box once again. 

“It's gonna be ok this time Riv...you can do this!” 

She braved a smile to Jack…”stay with us?”

Jack kissed her cheek lightly, “Of course sweetness!" 

He went over to supervise anxiously from the couch.

Theta noticed the closeness again between the two...River had always seemed to trust Jack since the beginning.  
He felt an overwhelming amount of jealousy over their friendship, he kinda hoped that one day perhaps she may hold that same trust and friendship with him...miracles can happen.  
Or not in his case.

He sighed as he glanced down to her fiddling fingers all primed and ready to attempt writhing the bars open like she was the incredible hulk in minute form.  
It felt wrong to see her so uncomfortable as with every other circumstance he’d witnessed of her she was always so strong and formidable...even if it was just an act of self-preservation.  
She was a survivor nonetheless.

“Come... sit on top of the box a moment River”

She did as instructed, that part felt ok, but the fear of going inside was overwhelming and she tried not to think of anything at all.  
She was a strong woman and hated to show any form of weakness... to anybody...so shaking like a shiting dog in front of two fully grown men was pitiful for goodness sakes.  
In Fact, she probably hated that more than the cage itself.

Theta knelt down in front of her already subconsciously trying to dissect her like a frog. 

“Don’t be nervous...Jacks here...nothings going to happen to you”

She glanced over to Jack who was still sitting on the couch. He gave a wiggling wave of his fingers and a flirty wink in acknowledgment.  
She rolled her eyes at him making Theta smile once more.  
That was becoming quite a habit...both her eye-rolling and his smiling.

“I’m going to do a simple phobia blocking technique and even though it doesn't necessarily block out your fear it will give you something good to easily latch onto when you feel overwhelmed by it,ok”

“Um...ok”

He reached up with one hand to touch her temple...She flinched away instantly…

Panicked ...“You're going in my head?”

“Well... err...yes, that's how this works”

“Can't you just give me a pill or something?”

He shook his head slightly exasperated.  
Gees she really didn't trust him at all...like he was about to mind rape her or something...had someone tried that before with her he wondered?... Is that why she feared the touch?….Oh god, he hoped not.  
Mind raping for information was illegal on Gallifrey, but still, it happened...on occasion.  
The sentence was always most certainly death for such an unspeakable act of brutality. Yes...Of course, it would be so easy for him to just dig around in that little rather exceptional brain of hers and find out exactly who this River Song was. But no... he could never perform such a monstrous act of violation to anyone and especially not to her…  
No, not never. 

“I promise I won't dig any deeper than I need to go River, I'll stay on the surface…. I know you don't trust me yet...but Jack trusts me, well at least i hope he does...trust him then yeah?”

She chewed on her bottom lip momentarily considering his words carefully before taking a deep breath and nodding her permission.  
He reached once more to lay his fingers against her temple gently. Noticing her shiver instantly at the touch, he swallowed heavily trying his best to hold onto his fortified walls against the magnetism she always emitted against him.

“Now close your eyes and focus on the cage…see yourself inside it”

Immediately her breathing hitched increasing with intensity as her pulse began to race...he felt it too as he forced his own breathing to steady and regulate its pace.  
He saw snippets of images of River naked, filthy and starving in a cage. A Master who was overbearing in size and brutal in voice as he dropped a few crumbs of something edible through its bars.  
Another image of River in the cage and the same Master blasting her clean through the bars with a powerful jet of water that hurt in his mind like needles of ice as he felt the cold cruel pressure on his own skin through her flickering thoughts.  
Images of many torturous nights confined in the cage, alone in the dark crying curled up like an abandoned animal surrounded by her own filth and wishing nothing of life but death.  
Taking a deep shaky breath Theta now understood why she feared the cage with so much alarming distress.  
Anger bubbled inside of him at the hell she had endured by the hands of this evil callous Master, he deserved to be buried alive in that cage and allot worse than that..but he had to hold that outrage down in this instant if he had any chance of helping her now. 

“Ok River...i think I’ve got a hold on that love...now i need you to think of something that makes you feel good, something that relaxes you”

He didn't appear to notice the fact that an endearment had just rolled naturally off his tongue as he reached out with his other hand to lay fingers carefully positioned along the other side of her head.  
She struggled to find something sweet to latch onto...being orphaned as a child left for very few relaxed or happy memories it appeared...she was stumbling inside...

“I errr, i can't seem to find...um…”

Theta’s heart broke at that moment as he felt her struggling helplessly to latch on to something... anything good.

“MASTABATION?”

Jack's voice jilted them boldly with his seemingly helpful input…River instantly laughed at his suggestion still keeping her eyes firmly close through Jack's note of levity...while Theta, on the other hand, cursed mightily, flushing tremendously at the mere thought of it.

“For Rassilon's sake Jack, that is not helpful!!”

“WHAT?….WELL, IT RELAXES ME...Just because you're a monk ....”

River laughed more as Theta shook his head exasperated…but felt happy that River was feeling a bit better about the whole thing in any case..

“Ok...well, as ridiculous as it sounds it appears as if Jack's crude jokes seem to relax you so try and focus on that. Think of all the apparently amusing things Jacks done that put you at ease. Nothing too dirty please, I'm a bloody Timelord thankyou very much!”

“The Monk needs to masturbate Riv!!”

“WHA…..SHUT UP JACK !”

Attempting to ignore the two bickering boys, taking a deep breath River calmed her giggles down and thought carefully of Jack, images of him in the library at lunchtimes reading books to her with dramatized effects!  
Making dinner in the kitchen that turned into a hilarious food fight. Slapping each other's butts with a towel in the bathroom. Dancing in the living room. All the while mixed feelings of calm and joy and great fondness emerged.  
Theta’s pushed down the jealousy he felt as the image of Jack holding her in bed appeared to him, spooning while speaking soothing whispers into her ear after a nightmare had sent her calling to his room. Feelings of comfort and care and compassion, and safety.  
He suddenly broke away from that thought as images of himself swiftly emerged in unexpected surprise. Himself laughing at the firebird and the delight she had felt upon seeing him joyous, if only for a moment. Her feelings of Wonder, intrigue and peace and pleasure.  
Their handshake in the library as he smiled at her and the great sense of calm and relief she had felt along with a building tingling of desire that eventually consumed her...Desire?

He winked an eye open to look at her as he felt its powerful presence like a supernova pumping wildly through his veins... She was biting her lip and blushing beautifully...probably hoping he didn't see or feel any of those thoughts inadvertently breaking through Jack’s slides.  
He fought to close his eye again, strangely delighted and inflamed by her slip but needed to focus on the task once more. He grabbed ahold of the few good thoughts she had surrendered, then proceeded to join the two sides together with fluttering twines of surging electricity. 

“Almost there River.... ahha ...connected...done...finito!”

She felt him pull away from her mind, feeling a cold spot as he did so, instantly missing the warmth of his presence inside like an empty box.  
He looked at her knowingly...but trying to dampen his increased curiosity of the excitement he felt of her desire she had accidentally thrown to him like the most delicious chocolates imaginable. Her blush was also something he longed to see again.  
Clearing his throat...

“How do you feel?”

She shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly “ok i guess...is that it?”

He stood up, “Yep” 

Holding out his hand she took it to stand. 

“Do you want to have a go now...orr?”

“Ok then”

She turned to face the crate ...but the bad thoughts immediately enveloped her at the sight of it.., her heart sank in an instant.....it didn't work.  
Theta came behind her swiftly sensing her hasty hesitation.  
Placing his hands gently against her hips and leaning into what could be considered affectionately... he whispered into her ear, low and husky like a lover might. Sensual shivers shot down her spine in rapid-fire. 

“You can find the calm easily now River... it's right there if you look inside...find the connection, let it guide you away. “

She closed her eyes to help focus for a second on his actual words and not on the sexy tone of his voice. And he was right, the calming thoughts were easy to find now. They were no longer snuffed out by the once-dominant overwhelming fear that claimed her rationality.

She took hold of these soothing feelings quickly taking a deep breath to recover and bent down to crawl straight into the box, turning to pull the door closed herself. She sat with a sigh of relief feeling merely like a child would in a den.  
Jack threw his hands up in a cheer as he stood. 

“YES...knew you could do it girl, no doubts... now get your arse back out here!”

River laughed crawling back out to stand and Jack wasted no time in picking her up and spinning her around, then paused to proudly lay a kiss on her cheek.  
He pulled back playfully…”Still think you should have gone with masturbation though Riv. “

She slapped his arm giggling “ Knob head”  
Detangling herself from Jack's excitement, she stepped back over to Theta, pausing slightly awkwardly in front of him.  
She beamed...

“Thank you!”

“I helped to get you into a cage River...that's not really something you should ever be thanking me for”

“That's not what I'm thanking you for…”

He frowned not understanding

“When bad things happen they can take over to consume you, it's so easy to whitewash all the good that there is... even if i don’t notice it at the time...thank you for reminding me of that Theta!”

He smiled feeling actually rather pleased with himself that her present happiness was currently resting upon his shoulders...  
“Well then, Your very welcome Miss Song” 

She shone brightly and threw her arms around him gratefully. He froze in the moment, but after his stunned initial surprise and hesitance, he slowly wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her tight against his welcoming frame.  
She fitted perfectly and felt wonderfully good and natural against him.  
He immediately found that he didn't want to let go of her...ever.  
He had barely scratched the surface of this fascinating beautiful woman and yet he could feel his heart already beating again pleasantly in his chest...Every day he rolled unwillingly into the daylight, she continued to scatter petals of hope at his feet. She had taught him how to smile again and dared him to push himself further still out of the darkness, through tempting conversation and openness.  
There were no other words to describe her...she was simply Amazing!


	5. Doctor Who?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> River finally finds out who she's been living with and emotions run riot! ...Theta is back and forth like a yoyo..Theta/Doctor/Theta/Doctor....I would also love to hear your theories if you have any about where this could all be going....x

The next couple of days were good together, almost happy one could say.  
They ate breakfast together chatting about random things and nonsense, passing things across the table and swapping fruit and words like gifts at Christmas.  
There was plenty of laughing at Jack's jokes as ridiculous as they usually were...but Theta couldn't help but laugh along with River as she giggled with that twinkle of mischief in her eyes that drew out his laughter with a great fondness he’d never before felt.  
It was all suddenly so perfect, like a family they just fitted….River asked if he wanted to join her and Jack in the library for lunch and he did so excitedly watching the clock from his office eagerly anticipating it to strike midday as soon as freaking possible.  
Upon entering he threw Jack's saucy book out of his hands onto the floor rather ceremoniously after choosing his own more dignified intellectual reading material to read aloud to his eager and anticipating audience….an attempt to impress!  
Apparently Advanced Quantum Mechanics isn't as interesting as erotica!

It was two days before the Citadel and River was silently beginning to grow frantic. She had tried to find many ways of unlocking the cage. She had used a variety of implements that could be concealed in her clothes but nothing worked to pick the blasted thing. She was a professional at breaking and entering on Earth but Gallifreyan locks were actually ones that worked. She was running out of time and spent every spare secretive moment both day and night trying to figure it out.  
There was a noise at the main door that startled her out of the storage room quickly and back into the kitchen pretending to work. Jack exited the office rather eagerly to answer. 

“IANTO”

A rather nice looking chap in a sharp fitting suit entered. Jack wasted no time in kissing him on the lips quite passionately and wrapping his arms around him despite the boxes the visitor was holding squishing between them like cake.  
Obviously very familiar with each other.  
River noticed the slave collar around his neck immediately as Jack led him over to where she stood cleaning the worktop. He must have had a tracker and a lot of trust from his Master to be allowed out on delivering duties.

“River i’d like you to meet my Ianto, our gorgeous Welsh Delivery boy”

Ianto looked almost aghast…”Delivery boy sir?”

“What...well you do deliver me my requests don't you..and you always cum on time!” 

Jack gave a knowing wink to the young welsh man that spoke volumes, while the poor chap blushed profusely and River pursed her lips.

She smiled already thinking they made a cute couple as she put down the rag and walked around to give them her full undivided attention.  
She held out her hand ...

“Hi, it's a pleasure to meet you...err Ianto?

He took her hand and kissed her knuckles graciously like royalty., 

“Ianto Jones at your service...It's a delight to meet you too River...hope he’s been behaving for you, but i think not!”

Jack beamed, chuckling to himself and wrapped his arms over both their shoulders pulling them all together tightly into his rather broad chest…

“I had a dream like this once...where’s Theta?... He was in it too!”

River indulged him playfully

“ Four of us...the mind races….Where dId we all fit?”

Jack smirked wickedly ....“You don’t wanna know doll!”

Ianto sighed, “well after you've both finished discussing Jack's sexual fantasies can we please get on... I only have an hour today!”

Jack disappointedly released them, 

“An hour...best hurry up then i have something to show you Ianto...!”

“You always do sir?”

“You always like it!”

“I’m not complaining!”

Ianto placed the two boxes on the side, one was bigger than the other, as he proceeded to open the smaller one.

“So this is Rivers attire for the Council communion…” 

He carefully lifted it out holding it up against her small frame. The beautiful smock was almost golden in colour with intricate red Gallifreyan detailing around the waist. Both men eyed her up and down attempting to take a not too discreet visual and nodding rather pleased with the result.

“Looks good...sexy...what about her feet!” Jack queried

Ianto pulled out a red pair of simple flats that matched the outfit to completion. 

“Jack told me your size River but i would prefer you to try them on while I’m here...the last thing you will be needing is sore feet!”

She nodded already walking around in her bare feet anyway so it was easy just to slip one on. 

“How's that feel?”

She wiggled her toes a bit...

“Yeah good, thanks!”

“Great and remember you need to have your hair braided back on the night, I’m sure Jack will help you with that and there is also a small bag of the standard makeup you are required to wear….so er yeah... I think that just about covers everything for you…”

Ianto scratched his head a moment while he tried to think of anything else important, he was sure there was something else ...

“Oh `Twmfatt` the bracelets”

Cursing in welsh he pulled out a small package from his jacket pocket. There were two matching blue bracelets, with Galifraian symbols on. He handed her the smaller one. 

“You’ll need to wear this!”

She looked at the beautiful bangle then back to her dress and shoes on the counter. 

“Blue though?? Kinda clashes with red and gold don't you think?”

Ianto smiled and pointed to the markings, 

“Yeah but slaves and Masters come as a pair to these events so it just says who you belong to and also Blue is The Doctor's colour so…”

“I'm sorry, what?” ….River was abruptly confused…. Why on earth had he mentioned The Doctor?

Ianto's eyebrows raised, as did Jacks…

“You will wear this one and The Doctor will wear the other one?” He spoke like it was obvious..

“The ...The Doctor...but I'm going with Theta?”

Jack stepped forward finally understanding her confusion 

“Shit...I’m sorry...my fault Riv. Yes, you're right you're going with Theta... I'm an idiot and forgot to tell you! ...Most people on the outside know him by the name of The Doctor...He just doesn't like to use the name anymore if he can help it that's all. “

River dropped the bracelet as if burned and stepped back cautiously but too stunned to speak...Jack stepped forward concerned placing a gentle hand on her arm as she tried to process.

“You ok...What is it Riv?”

She looked pale as if someone had just walked over her grave as she stared into Jack with alarm.

“Thetas The Doctor?....He...he can’t be!”

Jack nodded yes getting more worried by the second at Rivers now trembling tone. 

“He is…. I take it you've heard of him then?”

“Ye...yes...of course!!”

She looked down a moment trying to come to terms with this newfound information that had been sprung on her so forcefully it hurt like a bloody bear trap. She could never have been so stupid ...could she?  
Suddenly her scared confusion combusted turning itself quickly into assertive anger and she shoved Jack's arm swiftly away barging past Ianto headed straight towards Thetas office like a missile about to blow.

Both Jack and Ianto looked at each other silent and wide-eyed before they hurried to follow behind the flames of Rivers fury.

Theta was quietly scribing at his desk in a world of his own when River unexpectedly marched in with curly hackles raised high, slamming both hands on the desk crushing his peace and calm like crisps in an instant.  
He yelped rather embarrassingly and jumped in his seat as she proceeded to loom over the desk at him with crazy fury burning in her eyes already and primed to kill a thousand Daleks in her wake.  
Theta froze ...Looking past over her shoulder to Ianto and Jack who looked just as nervous as he now felt...he looked back to the furious untamed lioness before him. 

“Wh...what ….WHAT’S UP?”

She stood up crossing her arms and pacing from side to side radiating so much tension he could probably feel the heat of it from Darilliumn.

“You...Your, you are The Doctor….you?”

He frowned, clenching his teeth at the use of that name leaving her lips in his house, his sanctuary away from all that nonsense. 

“Yes, I suppose I am!”

She scoffed “well if your the Fucking Doctor where's The Tardis then..hmm?”

He leaned back in his chair to consider her a moment...why did it matter to her who he was and where the hell was this going...?

“My Tardis is below the Citadel with all the other ones...where she always is!”

Perturbed by this she could help but yell louder ....“You locked her away?” 

Concern was written in her voice. Theta continued to study her stance and the nature of her words, it was almost like she cared about the Tardis...His Tardis by the way!!...why? Trying to keep his composure a bit longer he continued.

“No... not exactly...She locked me away it would seem!”

River just huffed almost ignoring his answer as she moved swiftly to fire her next round of bullets.

“Huh...Fine...Where's your Sonic then hmm?... The Doctor always carries a Sonic Screwdriver”

He puzzled even further as she was obviously determined to try and discredit this truth...That he was, in fact, The Doctor.  
He slid off his chair sighing heavily as he walked around to a set of draws into the corner of the office. Then upon opening the top drawer, he pulled out the required tool that she sought. He threw it on the desk in front of her obligingly.  
Starting to become slightly agitated himself at this rather abrupt and undignified interrogation. 

“I no longer go anywhere to have the need for it River…Are you going to eventually tell me what this is all about?”

She eyed the item with careful scrutiny...shaking her head as her shoulders slumped a bit at its present existence, but ignoring him yet again on his own simple question..

“Well...Where's your bow tie...your jacket...?”.  
.  
Theta sighed again walking around the desk to perch on the edge of it in front of her…

“What's this really about River hmm….yes I’m the Doctor...SO WHAT!!!... Sorry I forgot to play dress up, bow ties are no longer cool...but does it really matter? Does it change anything….NO ….so why do you care?”

She looked down to the floor solemnly…speaking barely a whisper... 

“It changes everything!”

He reached out and lifted her chin trying to understand what troubles had her wound so tight…”Tell me why!”

Their eyes met once more and she looked so hurt and betrayed by him, but he didn't know why. What had he done?

“Because you're not who I thought you were Theta...your not…... The Doctor doesn't hide away in his home like a miserable old lady... he's a traveler, an explorer of worlds and he doesn't do sodding paperwork for a start.”

She reached beside him and threw his nicely stacked parchments on the floor with developing bitterness, he scowled as she continued unphased by his irritation.

“ The Doctor wouldn't ignore the fight of the resistance who are currently trying to make this world a better place for their children against the power that has already corrupted its lands. The Doctor wouldn't agree to put me in a goddamn collar just to blend in with the arseholes of higher society who were probably responsible for killing my parents.  
Your a bloody coward Doctor...a fake...You don't know how many beings looked up to you...how i looked up to you for christ sakes. Well, i hope you're satisfied with your life as it is and i hope this is everything you ever wanted it to be because it's everything those bastards in the Citadel wanted...You lying down submissively below their feet while they continue to use you and everyone else around them like a goddamn doormat. Thanks for being such a bloody huge disappointment Doctor your spinelessness is astounding!”

Theta stood angrily before her now, the oncoming storm brewing in his eyes. She didn't even flinch as he bit back forcefully through clenched teeth and fists.  
.

“How dare you speak to me with such disrespect...With your hero worship idealism probably ingested from some force-feeding delusional people like the resistance themselves. They know nothing about me or anything of my life... and you River you know nothing about me either, ...your nothing but a slave River...I’m …”…”

(.....SLAP….)

Before he could finish that sentence she slapped him so hard that his head nearly rolled off his shoulders from the sheer force of it. And It stung. Allot. Not just his cheek.

“SHUT UP!!!... YOUR A FUCKING ARSEHOLE YOU ARE!!”

He was stunned and confused as tears filled her eyes, she turned to leave quickly, Ianto and Jack stood aside cautiously letting her through like a queen. She stopped before she left. 

“Keep out of my face and don't you dare speak to me Doctor... I don't want to hear it!... Oh and don't worry about the bastards communion I’ll still continue to put on that nice little show you are required to present at the Citadel. I wouldn't want to let you down now would i?”

And with that she left, her footsteps fading down the hallway like a sunset returning to darkness.  
The office was silent and tense as Ianto and Jack remained stationary.  
The Doctor was still looking at the open doorway as if River were still there.  
Jack finally built up the courage to take a step forward… “Thea..?”

“Don't..dont....please... just leave me a while Jack” 

Jack nodded taking hold of Ianto's arm and leading him away as he shut the door behind them quietly.  
Theta leaned back heavily against the desk to close his eyes trying to escape his reality briefly..It was no use though, for he could still see the look of hurt, betrayal and brutal disappointment upon Rivers face like a recording on replay. And there really was no escaping the aching candidness of her brutal words either!

The next day everyone was subdued and kept their distance.  
Theta barely came out of the office and River and Jack kept talking to a minimum. It was late in the evening when Jack was finally drifting off to sleep when there was a gentle tap on his shoulder. He groaned and blinked his eyes open a bit to see River, he lifted the blanket automatically allowing her entry. She crawled in and he immediately spooned up behind her. 

“Bad dream Sweetness?”

“No ...”  
………  
…………  
.  
“Worried about tomorrow?”

“Always!”

Jack hummed…

“It's understandable, but you know what you're doing Riv, just like you practiced yeah”

“Yeah”

There was a long moment of silence before River spoke again, 

“Jack”

“Mmm”

“If you could leave this place...with me….would you?”

Jack's eyes opened more fully behind River...he was suddenly very much awake, as he tapped her shoulder to make her look at him. 

“Why are you saying that Riv?

“Just answer the question”

Jack thought for a moment, of course he wanted to leave this shit hole. He missed the universe, the variety and vastness of it in all its wonderful colorful glory, but at the same time, he felt like his responsibility lay here.

“I would Riv...i would do anything to get away from this place... but i can’t leave him Riv, he needs me….they’d break him for good!”

She nodded already assuming that would be the case. Jack spoke again concerned

“Your gonna do something stupid aren't you?”  
………………………….  
………………………….

“If i don't come back Jack...just...just know that i love you yeah! And thank you for taking such good care of me….nobody ever….well….just thank you Jack, your the only real friend I’ve ever had and i feel so lucky to have met you, Captain Jack Harkness!”

Jack sat up more, 

“Oh god River please no... whatever your thinking of doing please don't do it. They'll kill you! They will kill you Riv….please listen…Theta is still the Doctor...he's right there, he's still your friend, he needs you, he cares for you, more than he knows...you've seen it in him Riv, you know you have, you care for him too, i can see it in your eyes...there's something there! Please just give him a little more time to see it!”

River wrapped her arms around Jack trying to comfort his distress as well as her own in the process...

“I don't have time Jack... it's tomorrow or not at all, and whatever happens to me... I have to try...it's who i am. Live or die….I'll go down fighting, just like my mother”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Day of the event had everyone on edge...Jack was clearly beside himself with worry about Rivers now apparent practically suicidal intentions, even though he didn't know the details of her escape plan. He already feared the worst.  
He helped her to get ready and braided her hair to tie it back as required.  
They were both silent in thought as she dressed. She looked beautiful though as he placed the personalize blue wrist band of ownership to the Doctor upon her small delicate wrist.  
Nothing she couldn't do herself of course but he always loved to tend to her...like with the Doctor, he had a reason to live….meaning in his life on Gallifrey, so he was already contemplating the loss of his spiritual sister.  
His grieving process had already begun.  
Jack then went to finish with Theta, as he cautiously entered his room he heard cursing as Theta was currently fighting with the large Gallifreyan collar around his neck outraged by its very existence.  
Shaking his head Jack marched up to fix it for him.

“Here let me ya twat”

Theta's hands dropped immediately as Jack tended to his outfit. 

“Thanks”

“No problem”

Silence …..

“Um...How is she?”

“she's…. Determined Theta....but yeah...beautiful” 

Theta nodded...that sounded exactly like her...it had only been two days of their avoiding each other and it felt like he had simply had his heart ripped right out of his chest.  
After this insufferable night he planned to make amends with her. He had to try...he missed her presence terribly ... so much so that it hurt and burned his insides like acid.  
He felt the need to rip out his two broken hearts and give them to her as an offering of peace. Anything he could do to gain back her friendship, the eye-rolling, the smirks, the laughter, he would do...he would offer up his soal on a platter, yes,...she could have it freely ...Oh god, he missed her terribly her smile, her smell, her goddamn annoying infuriating attitude!  
Jack went to place the golden headdress over his skull, but Theta instantly ragged it away to throw it brashly against the wall.

“Back off Jack...that's one step too far...do you know how many regens it took to get cool floppy hair like this...allot.!!!... I know it's not ginger but even Elvis would be jealous of this perfection let me tell you!!…. Got me all dressed up prancing around like a bloody peacock on parade...with a woman that i actually care about and want as my friend having to act as my slave...so no…no thank you very much…. I’m not wearing that monstrosity too...They can forget it!! “

Jack couldn't help but chuckle...yeah there was his rebellious Timelord.

Back in Rivers Room she carefully slipped her Masters sonic that she stole late last night from his drawer securely between her cleavage.  
The cage locks were tricky but nothing The Doctors sonic couldn't take care of, problem solved. Taking a slow deep calming breath and one last lingering look at her room she left to attend her mission.

Theta was pacing in the library agitatedly wearing a hole through the floor as he gripped the lead he was required to use tightly in his hands behind his back as he paced. Jack sat staring out quietly out to the Citadel from her favorite window seat that she had quite possibly come to adore. 

“Right ..let's go then shall we?”

They both turned to her direction and Theta looked stunned once again almost similar to the day when she had first appeared all cleaned up for him. Shit..she was gonna miss that Posh Gallifreyan bath so freaking much!

Jack smiled softly with sadness stroking his features like he was attempting to hold in tears. He walked past Theta to give her one last love whispering into her ear as he held her. 

“I’ll miss you Riv...please ...don't…”

“Jack …”

Theta shouted over after glancing briefly out of the window 

“Transporters hear River”

River broke away after giving him one last kiss to his cheek…”Behave yourself Captain!”

“Never!”

“Damn right!!”

She took her place in front of her Master so he could attach the lead already in her required position of eyes down even though they were still in his home.  
They hadn't spoken or come into contact since the argument in his office and were both clearly still filled with anger and hurt.  
He pinched his brow taking a deep breath and quickly attached the lead, an act that now made his stomach want to empty its contents.

“River??? ...Please...please Look at me!”

She did as instructed already playing the game in order for her own sanity to follow through on her plan.  
She cared for Theta of course she did. There were moments between them that made her sole sore higher than all the mountains in Gallifrey put together. Not to mention the budding desire she felt when he smiled always making her heart flip like a nervous virgin awaiting her intended to come to her room at night.  
Theta ...The Doctor, whoever he was had crushed her very reason for being in Gallifrey in the first place, her mother's last words to her were to “Find Him...find The Doctor Mel’s...he’ll help you...he’ll help them all!”... He wasn't helping anyone though was he...he wasn't fighting for his life or anybody else's...he was simply existing, hiding in his own little bubble of sulking solitude.  
She looked up as instructed. He looked dejected.

“I'm sorry ok... I'm sorry for what i said River... you're not just a slave to me... I mean, you're not even a slave at all. Your a wonderful, beautiful, amazing human being and a friend of great importance to both me and Jack. I hope...i hope that after tonight that you'll somehow forgive me for whatever I’ve done and let me back in...i….i miss you River...i really do!”

She placed a finger over his lips...

“Hush...I forgive you Doctor...let's leave it at that for now ok. We have a job to do, let's not get distracted!”

He nodded 

“Ok...but... we’ll talk later yeah...sort it all out?”

She chewed on her bottom lip a moment then stood on her tiptoes to give him one last kiss on his cheek as she had with Jack. He flushed at the touch of her warm lips grazing his skin..  
She really did care for him...he looked so vulnerable right now. No, she couldn't leave him with all that bitterness along with desertion. She owed him a goodbye smile, however much it hurt her to do. Swallowing her guilt was doing no favors in her quest for the Tardis. 

“Later...I promise” ...lier!

He smiled feeling relieved by her gesture and she smiled in return to give him confidence...which it did.  
He proceeded to march forward with his newfound enthusiasm.

“Come on River let's give the bastards a show...Jack have the fire ready for when we return.. I’m not wearing this thing again I'll be requiring a burning ceremony upon our return and popcorn. River may require ice-cream, you know what she’s like...!”.  
And with that they left ....Jack paced back to Rivers seat breaking down into tears as he collapsed down onto it!


	6. The Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry...not sorry...sorry...not sorry...!!!
> 
> This chapter was so difficult to write... It felt so uncomfortable placing the Doctor and River in a situation i didn't want them to be in LOL...I may just have shot myself in the foot, it sure feels like it....eeekkkkk!!
> 
> Please tell me what you think...its a bit longer than the others so far, but would love to hear your opinions good or bad!

They were quiet in the back of the rather posh transporter that flew across low levels to the Citadel.   
Theta looked across to River whose eyes were cast downwards but he could tell she was very deep in thought. Nerves, vibrating off her skin enough to raise the hairs on his arms.  
He looked across to their pilot ahead of them who was focused entirely on his job and their required destination, so he tentatively reached across to take a squeeze Rivers hand supportively.   
She startled a bit, but kept a firm hold and squeezed back in return. 

“We’re here Lord President!”

Theta released the soothing warmth of her hand quickly. He took a deep breath before he gathered Rivers lead and led their way out of the transporter.   
There were welcoming crowds gathered around the base of the citadel while many highborn's paraded their property down the red walkway then in through the citadels amazingly huge open ornate glass doors.  
There were shouts and applause for this highly anticipated prestigious event.   
The words “DOCTOR” could be heard among the masses by the few who noticed him first and suddenly it erupted into quite a chaotic stir as more and more people took notice of him and River.  
They were reaching out like he was a god, trying to touch him. The man responsible for winning the time war. Guards held them back firmly, behind the low barriers that led the way for the precession.  
His fingers twitched and his grip tightened on the lead instinctively.   
All he wanted to do right then was wrap his arm around her shoulder and pull her protectively into his chest...it was almost painful not to act on that thought  
They kept walking as he kept his eyes forward trying his very best not to turn his head to acknowledge her behind him. 

“Doctor...Doctor…”

A group of small children in rags made their voices heard to him through the crowds and his eyes twinkled with starlight as he went straight over to see them.   
Most would consider these street rats as dregs of society, but to the Doctor...well lets just say they were on the same level of understanding. And not only that, children like these always grounded him and he could really do with a bit of self-belief right now!  
The few guards stepped aside to let him pay kind greetings to his young fellow admirers.   
The Doctor lowered himself down to their level fondly. 

“Hi, You boys should be in bed at this late hour... I hope you didn't sneak out, but well done for not getting caught if you did though...impressive! 

The boys laughed, slightly bewildered that The famous Doctor was conversing with them

“I’m very happy to see you here mind...Oh...did you get the free handouts lads as you came through the gates? They looked scrumdiddlyumptious”

The smallest of the five boys held out his hand with a bag full of delicious treats already eating them as he chewed and spoke at the same time. 

“Yes Doctor, um vewy nice...want one Docta sir”

The Doctor put his hand over the bag smiling gratefully…

”No thank you... I haven't had me dinner yet...but thanks for asking that was very kind of you young man!”

One of the other boys spoke out...eyeing him suspiciously holding the lead.

“Is that your slave Doctor?”

The Doctor finally turned around to look at River behind him as the boys regarded her attached to the lead he held.   
She was silently enjoying seeing his interaction with the children.   
It was so endearing how comfortable he seemed with them. Probably trusting them...these untarnished small boys more than the high council themselves.  
He smiled at her to which she returned the gesture pleasantly making his hearts beat that bit quicker...   
He looked back to the boys. 

“No, no, no, no...This is my friend River Song….we're just pretending, to play along! It's top-secret though lads so don't tell anyone will you? ”

The boys looked at each other smiling as if they had been entrusted with the biggest secret in the world. 

“We won't Doctor sir...you can trust us wiv anything!”

The smallest of them spoke again…

“She's vewwy Pretty...Docta…!”

The Doctor looked back to River who rolled her eyes but blushed a bit...He chuckled turning back to the little one with high regard.

“Yes...she is very pretty…” He leaned in to whisper…” do you think i have a chance at all?”

All the boys shook their heads NO….he couldn't help but laugh...they were probably right though, she was far too good for the likes of him...

”Why you cheeky little Daleks...I don't think my hearts will recover from that! ….Um ...I better go though boys I do have a mission to do after all. You behave won't you and always be nice to each other and everyone else yeah….even Magna bugs!”

River practically melted right there on the spot listening to him. He was so utterly wonderful with these small children...so natural and generous and funny...This was a beautiful rare glimpse of The Doctor inside.

“Yeah will do, we promise...Bye Doctor….Bye River!”

The Doctor stood and faced River …

”Gotta keep me fans happy. They liked you though...apparently, I'm not good enough for ya...Sounds about right that does!.” 

He sighed as River was unable to talk back to him just yet. He was hating every second of this and he knew it was only going to get worse from here on out….

”Ok then ...on to keep the Devil and his demons happy now then i suppose. 

He placed a hand gently on her arm after a quick survey of the area…

“keep breathing River...i’ve got you..!”

She nodded thankfully and took a deep relaxing breath…  
He let go regretfully leading the way in through the great large doorway into the Citadel. He walked quickly straight past a few highborn's that clocked him instantly and tried to call him over to their group. Wasn't gonna happen!  
He didn't have time for small chit chat of any sort as he headed straight to the large glass elevator that practically put Willy Wonka's to shame.   
There was another red coat who joined him in the lift unfortunately, he and his rather handsome male slave both wore yellow matching bands.   
Theta wasted no time in slamming the big red button for the council room on the top floor. 

“Hello Doctor”

Theta looked over too quickly to acknowledge the other Time Lord because pretending they were invisible didn't seem to be working very well.

“Oh hello Ragnar”

“So you really did get yourself a slave then i see...very striking looks...which century?”

“Um 20th”

“ Nice...my 779 is from the 16th...easier to train. How's she doing…”

“Fine!”

The doors opened and Theta flew out of them like a bullet with River in tow.   
Only to walk straight into Rassilon himself, who was standing chatting to a few high council members with their slaves silent beside them.   
Rassilon's slave was quite a small Egyptian looking woman with dark hair and striking eyes. 

“Ahhh Doctor...here he is my good fellows, I told you he'd be here...and look he brought his new household addition to show us, how wonderful.”

Theta lowered his head out of respect but not giving the full bow as he should to the highest in power.   
Rassilon paid no mind he was used to the Doctors rebelliousness.   
Theta took on a confident demeanor as much as Rassilon could be forgiving about...He was Lord President after all and under the watchful eyes of the others and he didn't want to ever be portrayed as Rassilon's bitch by any means. 

“Rassilon...are we going to stand around here all day like wondering snapping wart fowl or can we let the meeting finally commence sometime this century?”

Rassilon chuckled...oh patience my dear boy...alway in a rush you are...let me see her.   
I've been so intrigued since Koschei's announcement of your new little human woman.  
He handed his lead of his own slave to another council member and took Thetas lead out of his hand abruptly.   
Theta growled inside. He wanted to snatch the bloody lead right back off of him...How dare he take her away like that...He wanted to push him clear away from her...in fact no... punch...he wanted to punch his sodding lights...But no...he couldn't do that, could he? They had to make this believable.  
He swallowed heavily eyeing River as if he could at least protect her with his eyes somehow.

“I have your masters lead...Look at me Girl and speak when spoken to”

River looked up to see Rassilon.   
He was a tall broad man, probably looked in his 50’s if he were human. He was rather imposing with his collar bigger than Thetas and his intricate gold helmet with wisps of grey hair peeking out from below. His eyes were cruel though and that's all the information she needed to know about him.

“Does your master treat you well, girl?”

“Yes Master”

“That's good...I'm sure he treats you too well no doubt...you're very lucky to be his first. Amateurs always learn the hard way...Hmm, let's see you then...Spin around for me.”

River turned around so Rassilon could get a good look at this new object before him.  
Theta clenched his teeth as Rassilon and the others around him dared to stare at his River like they were undressing her with their eyes, to seek some kind of pleasure from it.   
His insides boiled with outrage.  
Rassilon looked to Theta and smirked wickedly, clearly seeing the effect he was having on his young unwanted successor.   
He looked back to River.

“Stunning...absolutely intriguing...The Doctor did always have an eye for the pretty ones didn't he?”

The other redcoats laughed like it was some inside joke between them all and the Doctor wasn't standing right there beside them whilst they rudely mocked him.

“...Now kneel...”

River's gaze lowered and she kneeled as instructed hands on her knees.   
She played her part well under so much scrutiny and pressure. Theta however disgusted by the act was also rather proud at how she could handle herself tremendously when needed.

“Very good”

He tapped her on the head like he was petting a dog.   
Theta was screaming inside now...how dare Rassilon put his filthy disgusting paws on `HIS` precious River like that..he was slowly losing the will to survive and if Rassilon didn't stop touching her soon and take his goddamn hands off her the Doctor was going to snap and it wasn't going to end well for anyone involved! He shouldn't even be breathing on her!  
Rassilon loved it.

“Two weeks has it been?….You've done well Doctor….i’m actually quite impressed...Koschei told me of course... but seeing, as they say, is always believing where you are concerned”

He handed the lead back to Theta who took it quickly breathing a sigh of relief as he did so. He swiftly moved to put himself directly between River and Rassilon as he spoke. 

“Yes well, sometimes a kind hand works better than brute force Rassilon perhaps you could learn a thing or two from that?”

“Oh Come now Doctor...you wouldn't be trying to embarrass me in front of my council now, would you?... You know i don't bend so easily to your immature flights of fancy”

“I wouldn't dream of it Rassilon, we all have our different training techniques of course... I was merely suggesting my approach…. as a more preferable method that's all. No offense to you or the high councils.”

“Hmmm...Of course not Doctor, you wouldn't dream of it would you!”

Rassilon looked slightly annoyed, but his eyes suddenly drifted beyond them….

”Oh look...here comes Koschei at long last, we can finally get started everyone”

Rassilon pressed a button on his rather large complex wrist strap… then clapped his hands to gain the attention of the room.

“Time to box everyone, let's get this done so we can finally relax and enjoy the festivities”

The guards opened the larger than large finely carved double doors at the other end of the room and everyone started to make their way through with their slaves in tow.  
Theta saw Koschei head straight over to Rassilon so he quickly commanded River “up” and led her away to be boxed before he spotted them.  
She needed a break from the pressure and Koschei would obviously delight in inspecting her too.   
Everyone was busy locking their slaves away and disappearing from the room in conversation   
Theta took River to the furthest away cage...unclipping her lead and looking around to see if anyone was watching as he spoke to her quietly.   
She looked more nervous right now than she had done before Rassilon he noticed.

“You ok?”

She swallowed, her mouth was dry and she felt sick ...but nodded…(Never let him see the damage!)

“Yeah…”

“Breath River...i’ll make sure it's hurried along best i can, you won't be in there long i promise...Grab the connection, just like i taught you. We will have about half an hour afterward to keep Rassilon happy and then we can go back home to see Jack yeah and have ourselves a bonfire k”

River felt guilty, conflicted and broken inside...she didn't realize how painful this would actually be…She had tried to ignore it, to not overthink it...but now it was happening and she felt like she was deserting him somehow, she didn't want to leave like this.   
His interaction with the children...his care for her wellbeing even under the pressure of the citadel...Just like Jack had told her... he really was in there.   
The Doctor was screaming to be free.   
She had no time though, the Tardis was waiting for her. She could already feel her tingling the back of her mind, god shed missed that feeling ... she had to reach her somehow, she had to try. There may never be another chance like this...not ever.   
The Doctor wasn't ready right now, he wouldn't understand and he may never be ready.   
He was broken, confused and she wasn't sure even if he could be fixed to the person he once was. The best friend her mother had described to her as a child.   
The Doctor...The Tardis...Next stop everywhere. She loved those stories.  
It was incredibly ironic that there was no time in this world full of Timelords...  
This was it….this might be the last time she sees him….and it was the most painful feeling she had ever felt!  
Her voice shook slightly as she lied through her teeth to him trying her very best to maintain visual composure, while her insides sobbed like a grieving widow...

“Yeah ok...Jack better have me some ice cream ready... I’m gonna need comfort food for a week after this!”

She bent down and crawled inside….Theta locked the door….

“I may let you share my popcorn if you're lucky too…” He whispered and winked.

“OK?”

She nodded, seeing he was incredibly hesitant to leave her right now….It was heartbreaking but she had to push through it ... 

“I’m fine...really….please Go Doctor...they're waiting!”

He pursed his lips and frowned looking around the rest of the room with a scowl, but did as she instructed.

River watched him leave as anger once again enveloped his features and he and everyone else disappeared from view until there was nothing left in the room but quietness, only a shuffling of people in cages.  
She cursed to herself as she pulled out the sonic from her conspiring cleavage.

Theta walked into the conference and sat at the top end of the High council table while Rassilon sat at the other top-end...Each weighing up the other as if they were the ones at the bottom.  
Koschei walked over and took his regular seat near Theta, he wasted no time whispering across...

“Rassilon says your ape is surprisingly delectable... I’m certainly looking forward to our introductions afterward Doctor. Perhaps I could take her for a turn around the grounds to see how well she heels?”

Theta shot daggers...

“I don't think so!!... This is a council meeting Koschei...for once let's stick to what's on the agenda shall we?”

“Oh let's not get a testy Doctor... Everyone knows you’d rather be at home playing with your Thing than sitting here listening to the old man attempting to provoke you into an argument...not that it takes much nowadays anyway...but still! …..No helmet again i see??? You're such a revolutionary Doctor.”

“He should thank himself lucky for once...At least I'm not wearing my fez!”

Koschei scoffed at his wayward friend...he always loved the drama that came with him.

Theta had been challenging the council over punishments being inflicted upon the poor more vulnerable Gallifreyan people from the northern territories when he felt her.   
She was calling out to him! He thought he had felt her tingling earlier on as he first entered the Citadel with River, of course, he simply put it down to the stress of the situation.   
There was no denying it now of course, his Tardis was awake and reaching out to him, for the first time in however many years.  
He continued to hurry things along as best he could and when finally released of his duties raced over to release River from her cage so he could hack the monitors to get a good look upon the Tardis chambers.  
His hearts sank like lead balloons as his hasty approach to her cage was abruptly brought in to a moment of utter unsettling disbelief. His legs went like jelly and there was an instant ring of warning pounding his ears drums like deafening screams.  
She wasn't where he left her... the box was empty and the door was left open as wide as his eyes.  
Panic engulfed him as he paled perfectly whitening like earthly glaciers.   
His eyes immediately darted around the room desperate to spot sight of her.   
Had someone else unlocked her?   
It was then that an actual physical alarm sounded around the room causing others to look around in uniformed curiosity of the disturbance.   
When Theta finally felt his legs beneath him after what seemed like an age he ran out of the storage area quickly pushing his way past Koschei who had yet to gather his slave.   
He went straight to the nearest monitor and started typing in code frantically.   
His Tardis was still calling out to him through the blur of his quest to find River, his senses were becoming increasingly overwhelmed with everything that was occurring..   
There was a disturbance in the Tardis chambers as he connected to the citadels internal security video link and was immediately drawn into a gasp of horror as he watched River kicking and screaming at Guards as they attempted to seize her, throwing her to the ground like a ragdoll.  
His hearts beat wildly out of his chest as his adrenaline-fueled body raced to reach her.  
She was lying on the floor as he entered the chamber squirming and growling in a failing attempt to set herself free. Hands bound tightly behind her, as one of the guards had his knee pressed firmly against her back keeping her in place while the others secured the area and called for officials.

Theta wasted no time as he approached…

”Oy...Get the hell off of her...you're hurting her!”

The guard in charge and holding her down turned to him surprised at how fast someone else had appeared, he recognized him straight away. 

“I’m sorry Doctor...This slave has no rights here... I'm afraid this is out of your hands now...Rassilon's on his way!”

“ This is `MY` slave and your injuring `MY` property so you will let her up right now this second or i will have your position dissolved with immediate effect….do you hear me Castellan?...NOW!”

The Guard sighed taking his knee off her and dragging her to stand just as Rassilon and a rather large group of other red coats including Koschei came marching down towards them.  
Rassilon spoke forcefully anger as he took in the sight of the Doctors riled up slave as if she were a captured wolf, furiously feral and growling and baring her teeth at him like he was nothing but flesh she would enjoy ripping to pieces if given but half a chance.  
Theta was trying to capture her eyes but she was so lost in the madness of her own chaotic turbulence as she continued to strain relentlessly fighting against the two strong guards containing her.  
He could still hear his Tardises hums to him and looked beyond River to where she was standing meer meters away from him...Her light blinked once as he took her into his sight...she finally spoke to him for the first time in years….

(....You will do what is required, my lovely lonely Thief...It is the price we must all pay for the freedom beyond. Love will prevail, you must believe this my Thief…..)

“WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?”

“We captured her trying to flee my High Lord Rassilon….she had this in her possession also Sir.”

The Chancellery guard handed over the sonic device currently in his possession...Rassilon immediately looked over to the Doctor for answers knowing very well who this item belonged to.

“YOU GAVE THIS SLAVE YOUR SCREWDRIVER DOCTOR?”

Theta didn't know what the hell was going on right now, his mind a jumble of chaos.   
What was River doing down here .... Where did she think she was gonna go?   
What in the name of all that was high and mighty was she thinking and why the hell did she have his screwdriver?  
The answers already clenching his gut tightly like bounds of steel chains…..  
She ran from me!... She stole from me!... She lied to me!... Treacherous Human! 

He looked to River who still hadn't acknowledged him in the slightest, either through the blur of her own madness or just point-blank refusal to concede her betrayal to him.   
He then looked back to Rassilon and the others, speaking the truth, for there was clearly nothing else he could conjure up at this moment in time.

“No...No...I never gave her that!”

Rassilon looked at the Doctor with careful scrutiny...his gaze was intense and Theta tried not to flinch or squirm at the heat from it….It would seem Rassilon was satisfied with the Doctors bewildered and quite frankly extremely pained expression.

“SOOO….WE HAVE OURSELVES A RUNNER AND A THIEF DO WE!”

The sentence for such crimes was most certainly death!  
Theta ran a hand through his hair desperately trying to control himself to think clearly somehow, solve the problem in hand.  
They were going to kill her...She had betrayed his trust, yes... but there was no way he could allow that to happen.   
He pleaded his case...

”Rassilon...I have barely had this woman for two weeks ...I tried to tell Koschei I needed more time to train before exposing her to such extreme openness.   
This environment proved too much for her.   
She was wild and untamed when I purchased her, I declared her a challenge. The...the traders had to immobilize her with shock prods and sedate her when caged to keep her from thrashing herself to death against its bars. Therefore i ask your forgiveness for this disruptive unruly behaviour. In all honesty she has come along way with her education into serving my house, despite this unfolding drama you see before you...She is doing well in her rehabilitation into servitude to her master so i beg you to reconsider the usual appropriate punishment...I'm an new to this also... she is my first Slave and I'm still learning myself...let this be a harsh lesson to me Rassilon like you said...amateurs always learn the hard way!”

Theta was literally pleading for her life now...  
Rassilon brooded momentarily and exchanged wittering words with his butt-kissing council crew briefly.   
Eventually, he came to some sort of a decision, with a snicker of a smile gracing his features...he was rather enjoying this.

“Very well Doctor ...If she's progressed as much as you say in such little time, I am willing to forgive this rather ridiculous spectacle. You may continue to educate your primitive wayward slave on proper conduct. But I warn you in the future Doctor, I may not be so forgiving!”

Theta relaxed briefly...that moment was soon shattered however by Rassilon's next uttered words.

“Ten lashes should do it...Five for running and five for thievery!”

Theta stepped forward wide-eyed...

“Rassilon…. I can punish her at home! Why not get back to the communion and enjoy yourself ...there is no nee….”

“SILENCE DOCTOR!.... She will be taken straight to the whipping post and you will punish her yourself accordingly with Ten lashes and in the process proving not only to my doubting self over your allegiance, but to the rest of the council who still to this day question me over where your loyalty lies...This cannot go on...therefore this is a great opportunity for you Doctor!”

Theta pinched his brow and looked to River gravely.   
She was looking at him now with those amazing green eyes of hers, looking ruffled and still emitting her anger definitely even in the tight handed grip of her captors having heard her sentence.

Theta ran a shaking hand through his hair, he felt incredibly queasy all of a sudden…  
There was no way out of this, no way at all. If he refused the consequences would suggest he was against them, they would certainly kill her and waste no time in taking Jack away from him to do god knows what with. Koschei once mentioned they had planned to bury Jack for all eternity a mile down in the Death Zone.  
Holding down the vomit inside was like trying to control an erupting volcano...he was fucked!

”`Ten`...Ten Rassilon?…….It's too much for any large man to take in the best of health...shes ...shes too slight...it would not be…”

“TEN DOCTOR!!!”

Theta nodded and Rassilon turned satisfied with his precession of followers, obviously leading them all to the whipping post with immediate effect that was located on the upper level of the Citadel. 

The guards started to drag River forcefully…Theta grabbed one of them with a firm hand….

“She's my responsibility Castellan...I'll take her…”

“Yes, my lord!”

Theta took River's arm as the guards stepped away.   
They both walked silently for a moment, Theta making sure to leave just enough space between them and Rassilon. He was desperate for answers and not wanting to acknowledge the reality of what he was about to do to her.

“Why River???”

She huffed. She was obstinate, unafraid and probably still pissed at her failure as her body still surged relentlessly from adrenaline….  
He already knew the comedown was going to take its toll on her body and that was even without the lashes he was about to inflict upon her small delicate frame.

“What was the plan then?... Please do enlighten me of your attempted escape”

She spoke sarcastically, hands still bound uncomfortably behind her back.

“Why i was going to steal a Tardis and Runaway Doctor...surely you know how it goes!”

Theta shook his head, exasperated...

“Don't be so bloody naive River. You don't even have a key for a Tardis. What...Did you think you could just open one up simply like a box of chocolates with My sonic that you stole from my office and pedal it off into the universe for a joy ride like a sodding Go Cart to live happily ever after...Surely your not that stupid!”

“She would have let me in!”

“Who?”

“My Tardis!”

“Oh, your Tardis now...which one? You must have walked past about seven of them before you got rugby tackled!

“You know which one!”

He paused to look at her seriousness a moment before continuing on...

“She hasn't opened her doors for me in years….not for my key or the ridiculous snapping of my fingers...not even for the tears that i shed or the pounding of my fists on her doors. Why should you be so lucky!”

She didn't answer…  
There was silence as they continued. Suddenly everything they had discussed was imminently forgotten as they were getting closer to what he most wanted to run from…

“Fuck...i can't do this….”

She felt his grip tighten on her arm all at once. She could even feel his trembles as his body brushed against hers.   
She had never felt so much guilt over anything in her life as she just felt in that very second.  
She had to encourage him... 

“You can and you will Doctor...I'm stronger than you think... I can take it...This is my fault and I will hold nobody to blame but myself...!”

“Stop it….Stop...I cant River...christ i can't do it... I've never….i would never…. Please...Perhaps we could try to…”. 

His eyes started darting frantically behind him, ahead of him and all around looking for a solution an escape, anything he could grasp, to save her from this fate....”

Before they knew it the whipping post was before them and River was escorted away from him by guards to prepare her.  
He watched helplessly as they untied her bound hand only to re-bind her hands high above her head until she was staggering on tiptoes with her back towards him.   
He swallowed heavily at the sight that he still could not yet comprehend as reality.  
He was not even aware of all the redcoats gathered behind him awaiting their little intriguing spectacle of the Doctors reassurances over where his allegiances may lie.

He was broken out of his trance as Koschei placed the whip in his hands and he took it numbly...almost robotic... 

“Do you need me to show you how Doctor...I could do the first two for you...?”

Theta spat back quickly...

“NO!”

Koschei held up his hands and backed away, slightly disappointed he couldn't demonstrate his technique to the rest of the class.

Theta looked down to the whip in his hands, then slowly looked back up to River who was silently still, not even struggling in the slightest. Already accepting her fate and handing her body over to him as it was all but a game.

He closed the distance to stand beside her...speaking quietly but with a trembling voice.

“River...River...I can't do this…”

She was stronger now at this moment in the mercy of inevitable pain than he had ever seen her...She represented power right now and it glowed and burst out more fiercely than all the solar flares in a thousand universes.

“You will do it for Jack Doctor…. This isn't about you anymore….I caused this so you will do as I am demanding...not them!!…. If you fail now, you will prove your disloyalty to them and they will take everything from you! We cannot risk Jack like that so I'm ordering you to do it...and do it properly. Do you understand me...I'm ordering you and you will comply!!!”

“DOCTOR I AM BEGINNING TO LOSE MY PATIENCE HERE!!”

Theta looked back at Rassilon scowling, he looked back to River who nodded with a slight smirk in her features…

”I betrayed your trust and your friendship. I was playing you like an idiot in an effort to escape... I'm nothing but an ape Doctor. My kind killed all that you love and hold dear...Make me pay for it Doctor….. I'm exactly what you thought I was!”

Oh, she was good!... She was trying to rile him...to anger and encourage him.   
And it was clearly working...because her words felt like the truth to him!..

He closed his eyes for a brief second to focus on that anger foraging inside of him. His worst fears come true...she really didn't care for him in the slightest and oh how he wanted her to care for him, he had subconsciously yearned for her love and devotion...but she had used him entirely from the beginning. It was all just an act to ensure her escape.  
He marched away quickly and turned.   
He was somewhere else now, holding the whip firmly in one hand. He brought it high above his head as he’d seen others do so many times before.   
All that pain, that fear and anger within him surging through his body with the vehemence of his downward strike, slashing her back with a deafening lash.   
She bit her lip till it bled, withholding her scream with miraculous self-control, not giving them the satisfaction of such a weak wanted response.   
Another….

`CRACK` …Her back burning already as if the flesh was being torn away with each strike, it probably was…  
The Tardis was speaking she could hear her hums...she tried to focus on that…  
(`be strong my child...He will wake from his nightmares….He will save you...He will save them all...You must believe in him for him to believe in himself!...be strong my child...you are his strength... be strong...`)

Thetas strikes continued to break her back like cracking icing on a cake.  
He was lost...there was no River Song...there was no Romana, no Amnoni, no Amy, or Jack….not even a Gallifrey.   
He was stuck in a black hole of grief and striking the walls of it frenzied and repetitive just pleading for escape…  
There was nothing but the sound of a harsh cracking sound slamming his brain against the walls of his cranium. 

He eventually awoke from his eternal nightmare only to enter another one as a hand grabbed his arm to halt his meticulous operation… It was Koschei

“You're done Doctor...don't want to kill her, do you?... Getting you to shop for a slave is no easy task!”

He took the whip from him as Rassilon approached them. 

“Well done Doctor... I'm impressed... didn't think you had it in you really. Good show!”

“Here i think this belongs to you...but don't let it happen again Doctor...i have better things to do with my time than supervise your idiotic tendencies!”

He handed the Doctor his screwdriver back, which he took numbly in an automated response..   
Rassilon smiled and gathered the committee merrily to go back and enjoy their night as originally planned.  
It was then that Theta looked up when all was quiet once more.   
Someone was hanging in front of him...a small female it would appear, hands bound high above her head, which was now flopping over her shoulders like a puppet who’ ed lost its string.  
She looked dead ...her back was bloody with what appeared to be slashes as he closed the distance slowly.   
There were a few curly tendrils that had escaped her braided hair enveloping her features, he brushed them away to see her face more clearly.  
It was then that it all came flooding back to him, slapping him awake like a tidal wave forcing him back to grisly reality once more…What had he done?

“Oh god River…no….no, no, no!!”

Her eyes were closed and if it were not for the slow heated breaths that grazed his skin into gooseflesh, he would think her life had been extinguished.

He wasted no time in sonicing her bonds and caught her collapsing frame into his arms as tears filled his eyes.  
“Please no…”

...what had he done to his beautiful River Song...what had they made him do...what had she made him do...what had he made himself do?

“What have I done?... Please...please forgive me River…please... I'm so, so sorry….River?.... I’ll make this better...please Song... I'm sorry, I'll make this right... I promise, I’ll make this right... I will...forgive me!”


	7. Melody Pond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have altered this chapter lots because i couldn't make up my mind how i wanted it to go....primerilly the last part with River and the Doctor. Still not happy with it but couldn't figure it out LOl so here ya go...

River slowly came back around slightly dazed, with her head resting on the Doctors lap, his fingers currently twirling around loose tendrils of hair as they traveled in the back of the transporter.   
She reacted instinctively and immediately tried to sit up but winced with an escaped sob as she felt the excruciating pain in her back stab her swiftly like a thousand knives.

“Shhh...it's ok steady there River…”

The Doctor helped her to sit as much as he could but she was weak and couldn't help but lean heavily against him.   
He held her close as she closed her eyes again trying to think of anything but the pain in her body.  
They soon arrived home and the Doctor helped her to stand, leading her down the tedious pathway and back into the safety of his mansion... she had never expected to see again.   
His arm was taking the majority of her weight as he struggled to hold her without causing too much pressure against the open still bleeding wounds.   
She sobbed again as tears filled her eyes...it was all too much to bare as he opened the door.

“Doctor...I can't…”

“Shhh, shhh, it's ok I’ve got you River!.….JACK…..JACK GET OUT HERE NOW!”

Jack appeared quickly from the kitchen and stopped dead in his tracks at the sight he saw…. He had never expected to see her again. His insidesJumped for joy and danced but soon collapsed into a heap in his gut as during his hasty assessment of the two he noticed the blood and the tears.   
He ran over to help...

“Shit..what happened??”

Theta untangled himself from River as soon as Jack took over as a support

“Get her to the bathroom and run the cold water….quickly Jack”

Jack was shocked at the moment, he was trying to assess where the blood was coming from and soon realized the majority of Rivers back was covered with redraw lacerations... to put it mildly, torn to shreds. Lashes!   
Christ it was bad, they were mind-numbingly deep. He couldn't believe she was even conscious at that moment in time, for he nearly passed out just looking at it..

“Theta...who did this?”

“Later Jack...Do as I say….Bathroom,....Now!”

Jack growled wanting answers but understanding they needed to tend to River first before anything else.   
He struggled to help her walk down the corridor...he really wanted to carry her, but thought better of it because of the pressure he would have to put on her back in order to do so.

“Come on Riv, I've got you...one step at a time sweetness...That's it, nearly there!”

Theta ran to his bedroom and pulled open a picture that held a safe behind it...very Earthly!   
He soniced it open and routed around throwing things on his bed like a starving man looking for food and he was getting increasingly angry because what he needed wasn't within his easy grasp. Bloody bigger on the inside he cursed!  
Suddenly and thankfully his hand wrapped around a small glass jar with what looked like green sand inside.   
He remembered being offered this as a thank you from a Witchdoctor he and Amy had helped on Argolis....It was an incredibly rare healing salt, he had only ever seen it used once in his lives and he hoped to God the stuff didn't have a sell-by date at he ran back down the corridors to the bathroom.  
River was quiet now and sat on Jacks knee as he whispered words of comfort and calm into her ears.   
Her face was pale like a sickness and the blood around her mouth stood out from where she had bitten her lip through the pain she endured.   
He couldn't think about that now though...he shook himself from the horrific scene.   
He needed to focus on helping her right now...he had no time to dwell and more than that he really didn't want to...ever!.   
Jack had run an ice-cold bath as instructed and Theta soniced the tub to stop the freshening flow of water and poured the green salt in, stirring it quickly with his hand as it fizzed until it dissolved into a what looked like a stagnant pond with froth on top.

Jack puzzled having never seen the strange substance before..“What is that?” 

Theta turned …”Can't you see its sodding Green Stuff Jack...Right.. let's get her out of those clothes….”

Jack sighed! Theta wasn't giving any answers at the minute and this really wasn't the time to add an innuendo to his `getting her out of her clothes comment`, but he would tuck that one away for later though for when she was feeling better and hoped he could make her laugh with it and Theta blush!.   
He carefully leaned River over his arm as Theta undid her dress from the top in a very clinical manner. She winced a bit as he pulled it away and down.

“Sorry River nearly done.”

He let Jack do her knickers as he pretended to give the tub another stir.  
When she was finally naked Jack helped her to step into the water, she yelped and pulled away swiftly, falling back against Jack..

“Ahh...c..c..cold...I can’t ...” 

She was already shaking like a leaf even before dipping her toe in the ice-cold water as shock took over her body brutally.   
Jack looked to Theta, he didn't want to force her and by the looks on Theta's face he was anticipating that this was gonna sting like hell. He hoped it would be worth it by tomorrow.

Theta lifted her chin….

”Right River listen to me, we’ll make this easier and faster, yeah...Jacks gonna hold under your arms and i will take your legs and after the count of three we’re going to lift you down into the water, it's gonna be really cold, but only for a few minutes and it won't hurt!

She shook her head unbelievingly..”..B...bloody L..lier!”

“Errr, fine, ok, it will hurt a bit i guess”

Even in the midst of her horrific trauma she still managed to raise an eyebrow at him. She really was pretty incredible.

“Well ok perhaps allot....but it’ll be over soon i promise and all that pain will go away River...well on the outside at least! “

He brooded momentarily over how this was going to affect her mentally with him...could they ever be friends again after this? He shook himself away from the thought quickly.   
He deserved nothing!

“Will you let me Help you?... Please...It's all I can do right now...and I have to do... something River...Please!” 

She nodded her permission but fuck waiting for the count of three...

“After one?” She gasped

Theta kissed her brow gratefully, he really wanted this to be over for her too... 

“Ok love... after one!”

Jack readied himself nervously, not knowing what to expect as Theta took hold Rivers legs, her dead weight now in their capable hands.  
It was incredibly undignified, but like a woman giving birth she just wanted for them to get the hell on with it so it could all be over and done with ASA`F`P!!  
Theta looked to Jack knowingly as they quickly hovered her above the tub, she closed her eyes tightly anticipating hitting the icey green ocean below. They spoke in unison...

“ONE”

They dunked her in and held her under firmly apart from her face and after the first initial hesitant second of frozen shock, it hit her to extremes. She threw her body violently and screamed the worst possible sound that had ever entered the atmosphere of Gallifrey or any other worlds beyond.   
She thrashed her limbs as if her restrainers were attempting to drown and kill her throwing water over the tub and onto the two struggling men like a confined dolphin in an effort to escape the agony being inflicted upon it.  
The pain of the water was excruciating, icy but burning and it burst through her vocal cords mercilessly.   
Within about the longest most horrific twenty-five point three seconds of hell, her screams abruptly stopped as she suddenly went limp as a dead cat into their hands.   
She had passed out from the pain and for that at least they were eternally relieved.   
Jack still held her head above water as he flopped his own head down on the side of the tub with a heavy thud.  
Panting vigorously as if he’d just finished the London marathon without training.

.” Fuck…. I think I'm gonna throw up. That was…..Fuck,...that was not nice!”

Theta was also panting breathlessly but still watching River with careful tentative eyes.   
Actually no ...not River...his patient at that moment. She had to be his patient because that was the only thing keeping him from not drowning his own disgusting self in the bathtub...And really, that would just not be productive for anyone right now.   
Perhaps later!

“Not yet Jack...keep it together Harkness….Two more minutes should do it!”

“Jack groaned and looked up to her...stroking her face tenderly as the horrible minutes passed by while they continued to hold her down in the ice-cold water.   
Even his own hands were hurting from the distressing iced temperature, so he really didn't want to know what River had felt with serious wounds on her back.

His voice was quiet and full of emotion...“How could they do this to her?”

Theta looked away, unable to look at that moment, swallowing heavily with sickness knowing full well that he was the one who had done it!   
After another inexplicably long agonizing minute, he came to stand behind Jack…

“Should be long enough now..Let's see!”

They carefully leaned her dead weight over as they inspected her back.   
The lacerations were nothing but slight scratches now….It had worked wonderfully, well apart from the screaming.  
They looked to each other and smiled briefly, happy with the results of this rare green substance.  
Theta held her and nodded his head over to the door...

“Go get her nightclothes Jack, you know where she keeps them….I'll bring her through in a minute”

Jack did as instructed while the Doctor scooped River up out of the tub.   
He grabbed a heated towel off the rail and sat on the bathroom chair as he wrapped it around her like a blanket around a sleeping child.  
Carefully leaning her back against him to cradle her in his lap. He took a moment to just hold her wrapped up form protectively close to the rhythm of his two beating hearts. Her head on his chest.  
He tended to her gently rubbing her arms over the towel, in an attempt to warm and soothe her best he could.  
She was still pale and her body began to shake once again as her eyes fluttered open to meet his.

“D...Doctor?”

“Shhh, I’ve got you!”

He stood up with the strength of a thousand men and carried her to the bedroom as he continued to comfort her. 

“Your ok now River...just need to get you warmed up that's all...No more pain love”

Her hand grasped his shirt tightly against his chest, ”I’m s..sorry.. ”

He shook his head...as he carried her through into the bedroom, “No I’m sorry...i will forever be sorry for putting you through this!”

He placed her on the welcoming bed and Jack started to tend and dress her while Theta backed away respectfully.  
Jack was better at this stuff.

“Oh, you're awake Doll...You just didn't want to miss me dressing you did ya...sorry Riv...I've always been the one to undress people not the other way around...can't say i like this way very much!”

He’d put her pajama bottoms on and lifted her top carefully over her shaking arms, then pulled it down like a pro. 

“Your d.. doing good Jack, no gr groping... I’m impressed!”

He chuckled…” ya cheeky mare..like i ever would!!”

The Doctor paced the floor a bit looking to the ground uncomfortably wringing out his hands as Jack dressed his patient then tucked her in under the covers, speaking comforting familiarity like the good friend he was.   
Sometimes he wished he could be a bit more like Jack, comfort and love and physical confidence and affection came so naturally to him.   
He had an amazing ability to put people at ease without thought, perhaps it was his 51-century pheromones as Jack would suggest it to be...but Theta knew better.   
No...it was simply just Jack.  
Eventually, he looked up when he was sure she was settled and covered. 

“Stay with her will you please Jack... she will do well with the artron energy of your body heat.”

Jack nodded and whipped off his now wet top and pants leaving his shorts on and climbed under the blanket to hold her, without further question. That was probably what he wanted to do by the looks of it anyway.  
She sighed and snuggled closer into him feeling safe and pain-free as she closed her eyes finally giving into exhaustion.  
Within seconds she Slept.

The Doctor wished he could be the one to hold her like that, protect her, even if it was considered wrong by his species. But after what he'd done to her tonight...well...that would be nothing but a fleeting fantasy of his own self-indulgence.   
He didn't deserve to hold her, for she would never feel that safe and protected with him, not after what he had done.  
She would never accept him into her heart after this and he didn't realize how much he had wanted it until he couldn't have it! 

He walked out without saying any further words to Jack and paused briefly to look in through the doorway of the library as he passed. That was Rivers room now and he didn't deserve to be in her special place tonight.  
He retraced his steps back up to his bedroom and closed the door gently behind him.   
He proceeded to undress feeling slightly grateful that his clothes were already red so he couldn't tell what was water or blood that covered him at that moment.   
That was something positive at least.  
After taking off the stupid idiotic collar and robes he was left in his under skins, as he dropped on to the edge of the bed like a heavy sack of potatoes.   
He leaned over to place his elbows on his knees and head in his hands and to let out a slow deep and controlled breath.   
He attempted to silence his mind but failing miserably like he had failed at everything else up to now.   
It was no use, there was too much going on in his head, as much as he tried...there was no calm that existed in him to be had.   
He was bubbling inside...boiling and burning with unmanageable fury, so deep a chemical reaction of all that consumed him surging through the wastelands of his now positively revolting sole.   
He clenched his fists against his face tightly until his nails bit his skin nicely as it erupted through him from the top to the bottom of his body with shaking rage.  
He broke quickly and aggressively screaming out positively possessed...

“ARRRGGGHHH” 

...Willing windows to shatter from the violent vibrations of his voice alone.  
He stood up abruptly grabbing the first thing that came to enter his hand...a simple chair...poor thing!   
He threw it against the wall just because it had called him to do so.

He hurt her...he had hurt his beautiful feisty River Song unimaginably, it would forever be ingrained into both her being and his for all eternity.  
He had never hurt anyone so much in his lives.  
...How could he do that?  
...What sort of a man was he?   
...Could he even call himself a man anymore?  
...No, NO.. he is a monster now. He was Mr Jekyll...or was it Mr Hyde…..?

“Arrrggghhh” 

He tipped over the dressing table smashing everything that landed on the floor easily like prawn crackers.   
He took swift hold of the bedside lamp throwing it brutally against the door wishing he could have thrown it against his own bloody self satisfyingly.   
He rampaged around the room like a bull seeing red and ripped the decorative Gallifreyan carvings away from the walls because he hated them too...he hated everything he was.  
The bed also looked enticing so he grabbed the quilt, throwing it to the side like a tiny little handkerchief. That made him angrier still...too fucking easy...So he battled with the whole bloody king-sized bed because it deserved no less until it was turned sodding upside down and he had smashed every latt into woodchip with his feet like it deserved.   
Everything he broke he imagined as a bone in his body, and it was pleasantly starting to pacify him...well slightly at least.   
Hmm, perhaps it was the cuts on his fingers he liked!  
Once there was nothing left to smash up and break and after he had eventually ripped the chandelier down after swinging on it briefly like a deranged monkey and growling, tugging fiercely until it finally gave up and they fell together helplessly to a heap on the floor.  
His energy was eventually depleted as his sweat-soaked body gave up the gig of attempted self-destruction and slid down the wall sobbing tears of both mental and physical defeat. 

The night was slow but morning soon came as the two orange suns rose for a grand new day.  
Jack padded into the kitchen barefoot, in his shorts and a fresh T-shirt, yawning loudly like a caveman.

“How is she?”

He looked over to see Theta perched on a chaise behind him still in his underskins from the day before, his hair electrified, with reddened dark eyes.

Jack continued to pull out a few cups to make tea.

“She seems fine, awake but tired. I told her to stay put though...just gonna make her a cuppa and some breakfast. You look like shit by the way, I'll make you a coffee..a strong one!”

“Um thanks!”

Jack sighed...

“So you gonna tell me what happened then?”

Theta rubbed his aching brow….

“I think it's pretty obvious Jack!”

Jack turned around and crossed his arms leaning back against the counter, needing and expecting answers.

“Who did it?.... Was it that bastard Koschei or one of the other bitches….don’t tell me it was bloody Rallison…”

Theta brooded heavily in the short moment of silence, he knew what was coming and in all honesty he wanted it, he needed it, so he stood up and walked to stand directly in front of Jack.   
He couldn't look him in the eyes though...coward!

“It was me…”

Jack almost laughed...suspecting a joke however inappropriate...

“Excuse me?”

He finally plucked up the nerve to lift his head to meet Jack's gaze head-on.

“It was me Jack...She bled by my hands!”

(...`BANG`...)

Jack's fist connected with Thetas face so fast he didn't have time to see stars before Jack pulled him up by the scruff of his skins for another heavy-handed wallop to the face....

(...`BANG`...)

This time Theta crashed into a side cabinet filled with interesting artifacts that shattered and fell like his body...Jack pointed down to him now red and seething…

“BASTARD….YOUUU…. FUCKING BASTARD!!…. YOU DID THAT TO HER….YOU...??? HOW FUCKING COULD YOU…TO HER….TO OUR RIVER???.”

Theta wiped his bloody nose on his sleeve…”I had to Jack... there wasn't a choice!”

Jack growled and dragged Theta up once more to slam him against the wall nearly strangling him as he held him there, if he still had his old Mark IV Webley Revolver it would all have been over by now. 

“ THERE'S ALWAYS A CHOICE YOU ARSEHOLE...YOU NEARLY KILLED HER...AND FOR WHAT?... BECAUSE SHE CHOSE TO LEAVE YOU...BECAUSE SHE TOOK A CHANCE AT FREEDOM OUT THERE OVER A LIFETIME OF SERVITUDE STUCK IN THIS HOUSE”

Theta pushed back at Jack's chest in retaliation...having only just realized 

“OH I KNOW I’M THE DEVIL’S HANDYMAN JACK BUT YOUR NO ANGEL YOURSELF ARE YOU?…. YOU COULD HAVE SAVED HER FROM ALL THIS TOO COULDN'T YOU MR NOT SO PERFECT….DON'T LIE TO ME JACK….OHHH IT'S OBVIOUS NOW!”

He laughed….

”SHE TOLD YOU DIDNT SHE?... SHE TOLD YOU HER PLANS TO RUN DIDN'T SHE...DIDN'T SHE JACK….OH OF COURSE SHE DID, SHE TRUSTS YOU NOT ME!…. BUT YOU MUST HAVE KNOWN THERE WAS NO CHANCE IN HELL IT WAS GONNA WORK ...YOU'VE BEEN TO THE CITADEL, YOU KNOW THE SCORE...BUT YOU LET HER GO ANYWAY KNOWING HER INEVITABLE FATE….NO...YOU DIDN'T EVEN TRY TO STOP HER DID YOU JACK...SO IT'S YOUR FAULT TOO...SOME OF THOSE LASHES WERE INFLICTED BY YOU!!”

(...`BANG`...)...This time in Thetas stomach, it winded him and he slid down the wall, clutching his stomach while gasping for air….

“NO...NO STOP”

River ran over to crouch next to the Doctor who was currently trying to get his breath, secondary bypass was successfully vanquished too it would appear.   
She placed a hand on his shoulder concerned...Jack stepped back as she looked up to him defensively...

“It wasn't his fault Jack….i told him to do it. In fact i practically forced him to... please understand Jack...it was the only way to go otherwise we would all have been screwed. I knew the risk i was taking”

Jack shoulders slumped..

“There's always another way Riv....but he's right you know...it was my fault too... I should have stopped you Riv. I should have told him before….. “

He shook his head and walked away to probably lock himself in his room the rest of the day...she called out to him as he disappeared.

”Jack….Jack don’t... please…”

Theta leaned his head against the wall, his face bloody and bruised…

”Big baby gone off to sulk already and I was so looking forward to round two!”

“Oh shut up Doctor!”

He threw his hands in the air, pretending to be annoyed even though he was just relieved and happy to see her up and about and looking too damn gorgeous in her wrinkled nightclothes, bare feet and crazy curly bed hair.

“Whyyyy...why do you insist on calling me that now...i hate it...I bloody well hate that name!”

“Because it's who you're supposed to be and it's the person you wanted to be, so stop trying to deny it... Christ...do you have to look and behave like a twelve-year-old all the sodding time? It's extremely infuriating. Now get up Doctor, let’s put some ice on that face.”

She helped him to stand and led him over to the nearest chair to sit in the kitchen.

“God your so bossy...Bossy song...I'll start calling you that from now on and see how you like it...Although Jack will probably punch me for verbally bullying you too...it's ok though i will deserve it…. At least I’m not holding a whip today ay.”

“Oh zip it!!!” She placed a cold compression over his sore cheek…

“OWWW...What the hell?!”

“Oh Man up for goodness sakes and stop whining... These will heal fast won't they?”

He blew air threw his lips, drunk on emotions and babbling idiotically.

“Yeah my self-replicating biogenic molecules will work to repair damage on any malformed cells…so no need to fuss. Besides you should be resting not tending to your torturer...bit weird that is!” 

She moved the compression over to another swelling…

He flinched...

“Bloody OWW...”

“Please just indulge me Doctor, i don't like to see you injured like this and don't think i don't know that you wanted Jack to hit you...you're so freaking predictable!”

He scoffed, 

“God your so much like Amy, she was bossy and stubborn too”

River paused a moment, then took a deep breath to steady herself

“Amy...the friend you lost yeah?... She must have been quite something to put up with you!”

The doctor smiled at the memories that flooded in him with a warmth he’d almost forgotten.

He smiled…

“She was amazing...always told me how it was...even if i didn't like it. Occasionally told me I’d clearly been taking stupid lessons again, when i got it wrong...which of course i usually did.”

He chuckled to himself, rolling her name off his tongue like he’d had a few vodkas…”brilliant name….Amelia Pond...like the name in a fairy tale...ha!”

River pulled the compression away and turned placing her hands on the worktop to close her eyes as he spoke. This was her mother they were talking about and he was her mother's best friend and he had no clue who River song actually was...and she really didn't know how to tell him, or even if she should!

“Not a very Gallifreyan name is it?”

The doctor rubbed his aching jaw a bit then stretched it out wide and wiggled it ...

”No, she changed her name too, wanted something Earthly because we were both obsessed with the Earth during our time in university. She even dressed up as a police officer once... said she looked good with the Tardis...like partners in crime or something daft like that. I said she looked like a stripper gram, the kinky cuffs proved my point!   
My traveling clothes were much cooler though. Bowties really are cool...kinda miss it actually!”

River turned back around to face him, 

“you sound like you had a lot of fun together, why’d you stop?”

He shrugged his shoulders and stood….

”Oh, well, my fault...again!...I was blinded by my own anger and blamed all the humans for the death of my wife and child. I guess I began to side with the council over how to deal with them, it was all a bit of a blur back then, but we argued….we argued a lot after that and eventually, she took our Tardis and left. Just like that. The last words I ever spoke to her were in anger...I'll never forgive myself for that. She was my best friend and i loved her more than time itself, but... well...She hated me in the end!”

“She didn't hate you Doctor, she always loved you!”

He stood next to her and tenderly grazed his thumb over the cut on her lip that was still healing wishing he had thought to hold a soaked flannel over it when she was lying unconscious in the tub.

“I wish I could believe that River...but I failed her just as I failed you, I know I did”

After a moment he realized his hand had moved from checking her lip and had unconsciously wandered to caressing her face, slowly moving on to brush a curl behind her ear, in silent fascination. His fingers explored down to graze the soft skin on her neck. He wondered for a second what she would taste like...exceptional he mused.  
Suddenly he jolted his hand back quickly, as if burned , his eyes wide and panicked, by this blossoming intimacy he’d mysteriously just conjured up.  
She grabbed his wrist quickly, not allowing him to retreat into himself, as she slid her hand from his wrist into his palm confidently, with affection.   
He swallowed heavily as she linked their fingers together while trying to ignore that her eyes were now filled with twinkling starlight and a hint of mischief beneath.

“You never failed us. Everyone is allowed to make mistakes Doctor... that's how we learn and that's not just a human thing either...That's a trait that all species bear...Even yours, believe it or not!”

He shook his head quickly….

“No...No River, Time Lords are supposed to be superior...better than that. We’re supposed to be above making the same mistakes of such primitive lifeforms...they've drilled it into me so deep, that even this. …”

He lifted their still joined hand …

“This is supposed to be wrong River, this immature hand holding...It's meant for children! Physical affection makes you weak, it confuses the senses and makes one vulnerable and irrational. “

She kept a tight hold of his hand even as he tried to pull away from her grasp.   
She held him firm and brought her other hand to push his floppy fringe back gently.   
She just couldn't help herself.   
She needed to hold his hand, because she had wanted to be close to him...and right now she wanted to be closer still.   
He was like catnip and she wanted to roll in him.   
She felt her flirtatious instinct kicking in, she’d felt it before in his presence but didn't try to control it this time...what the hell she thought. Just show him!

She leaned up on tiptoes and grazed his lips with hers softly then pulled away slowly, to gauge his immediate reaction.   
Even with a bruised face he was the sweetest most endearing sight she'd ever bared witness to...he was so vulnerable and lost, she just wanted to kiss him better.   
He stilled opened his mouth to say something then closed it again as if waiting...but for what? He did not know.  
His heart flipped in his chest deliciously like pancakes as tantalizing shivers ran down his spine in a strange unexpected, yet pleasant surprise.   
She bloody winked,the minx, then went on to kiss the corner of his mouth delectably then peppered light feather kisses on to his jaw and boldly nibbled his ear for a second.   
Dear god he nearly collapsed into a heap on the floor….His legs turned to jelly as heat rose in his body like a fiery furnace.   
She whispered seductively into his ear...he'd never had anyone do this to him before...Was this witchcraft, it had to be?

“Tell me...does this feel wrong to you Doctor?”

He gasped breathlessly...“I...i don't know...i ...?”

She kissed his chin…

”It’s an experiment, you like those don't you? They told you this is wrong... but how can you judge something when you don’t truly understand it? Perhaps they are the ones who are wrong to deny something that should be so beautifully natural to you…. Tell me what it feels like Doctor...”

She kissed his neck again…

“Nice... scary….um, soft, warm...T..tickly….scary again”

“Mmmm” She licked his skin under his chin with her tongue naughtily…

He yelled out....”..TH...THRilling….”

She giggled a very husky type of giggle he’d never heard with her before...he rather liked it!

“Thrilling??.. Oh, no no no, Timelords shouldn't be thrilled by such a simple touch Doctor…Gallifrey may Inplode any second now. I better stop this immature behavior right now this second...Do you want me to stop?”

She ran fingers through his hair emitting euphoria, while her pheromones attacked him full force like a stampede of chemicals and hormones invading his senses...how did she have the ability to crumble his shields like this, it was impossible! ….With what…? PLEASURE!!…. Fuck!!

“No...err...b but... I should...um River???”

“Physical affection is power, at this moment i hold the power but that doesn't make you weak Doctor, let's just say i just know more about this stuff. I'm sure you could easily turn the tables if you wanted to. But Just like being frightened it can make one stronger too. It's a natural bodily reaction your having as chemicals surging through your bloodstream emit more power than you could possibly imagine. Can you feel it?...   
They put you in a box Doctor where you're only allowed to think with your head, it's probably more like a coffin actually...but anyway...That's where their superiorness is bloody-well idiotic stupidity...., you can't choose to accept one and not the other, people need balance, they need to think yes...but they also need to feel.  
That's why they have no feelings for anything other but themselves. They are cold, with no empathy...no remorse, no generosity or love, and Love is the strongest emotional power there is Doctor...That's why they deny it to you..because even they can't handle its influence over the universe. Love will always prevail.”

He pulled back, waking up at the familiar words escaping her now very increasingly kissable lips he noticed.   
Wait was she blushing, yes...yes she was. Stunning!!  
Her lips touched his….  
Kissing….  
River…  
soft warm ….  
Thrilling….  
River …  
Mine…  
Kissing…  
Like…  
More…  
Want...!  
wait no….what did she say again…. Oh...wait...what….?

”Love will Pr...…..? The Tardis said that...how did you…?”

She smirked, knowingly...

“I know she did...she said you had to do what was required, it was the price we must all pay for the freedom beyond”

“Why are you connected to my Tardis?”

River stepped back and finally released his hand, not knowing what his reaction would be.   
He deserved the truth now though...she trusted him with it now and couldn't keep it from him a moment longer.

“Because she's Ours Doctor...she’s our Tardis…”

He frowned…”what?”

“Why do you think i like your library so bloody much? You made it feel like her didn't you? I really should have realized from the beginning, but i was only a small child, it just felt so familiar and comforting to me at first. The Dark carved wood bookcases, the beautiful chairs and elaborate Gallifreyan fireplace. The antique story rugs that grace it’s floor, the cloudy ceiling, albeit it doesn't move like it should. But It's all like a mini replica of the Tardis Library from what I remember as a child. You missed her that much... as i did” 

He cleared his throat, how on earth did she know what the library looked like? His usual vocal ability had collapsed in her presence, as he flustered ridiculously...How embarrassing she had rendered him speechless yet again!

He cleared his throat ...“Um….Sorry, What?”

“I wasn't always called River Song you know Doctor...Went traveling with my parents to the Gamma forests once when i was eight and that's what they called me there. Thought it was pretty cool actually, like a superhero name ...like The Doctor. I was going to Marry you one day, so I thought it fitted nicely!”

The Doctor was silent….stunned and silent...more stunned though, and he still didn't even know what the hell she was on about.   
He was sure she was seducing him not a moment ago and he kinda liked that, in fact, he wanted more of that even though he wasn't supposed to want it.  
God she was going to kill him...He had survived the time war and fought a Billion Daleks only to die by the hands of a beautiful woman!   
She was making his head spin wild like the vortex because now she was simply telling him a story and it didn't seem as seductive as it should.   
Was this a weird kind of role-play mating ritual?   
Where was Jack when he needed him? He would know if this was a weird human sex thing!   
Wait, what...Gamma Forests, she can't have been there?...  
Why is she calling it Their Tardis?...  
MARRY??...WHAT... WHO...ME??...

He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, there was only one question that came to mind…

“Ok..right...well if your name’s not River Song then what is it...Mrs Robinson?” he joked sarcastically, he really hated not knowing things and this was starting to get annoying!

She smiled but it was a nervous smile…feeling increasingly afraid of what his reaction will be...

“Melody…”

His eyebrows raised…he felt he wanted to test it out on his tongue straight away...

“Melody, Mel-ody... I rather like it...like River better though... but it still doesn't tell me how you know my Tardis”

“Well, perhaps my last name will offer you more insight then Doctor…”

“Ok then...what is it?”

She chewed her bottom lip, as his eyes waited patiently...

“I’m, Melody….Melody Pond... Your best friend's Daughter!”


	8. Two Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a shorter chapter...but its something at least...Dont blame me... i've been distracted reading stories of Jack Harkness and Ianto Jones...how cute are those two as a couple too. Aww...erm anyway...LOL
> 
> Love comments good and bad x x

The Doctor stepped back looking at River Like she had suddenly grown two heads before he practically scowled…

”If that's meant to be some kind of sick joke i don't find it very funny River!”

“It's not a joke!”

“Do you honestly think I’m really that stupid…I mean seriously?.... Your bloody human River!”

“Am i? ...Am I really Doctor... what gives you that impression?”

“Ohhh..Don't play games with me... don’t ever think you're capable of that. I’ve touched your skin, you're a perfect 37 degrees Celsius... Normal human body temperature for a start. I’m not an idiot. Have you lost your mind or something River….Oh...oh wait…i think...wait for it...somethings off....”

He paced side to side and tugged his hair like he was desperately trying to figure this out…something he missed or hadn’t taken into consideration through the madness of everything and the visual distraction of her untamed morning hair.

“...argh wait….”

She opened her mouth to say something but he held up his hand quickly…silently telling her to not interrupt a genius at work.

“no...no wait…..I've got it. That's it, of course it is...!”

He beamed rather satisfied with himself for figuring it out.

“Sorry it took so long. It's this regeneration you see”   
He tapped his head   
“ A bit slow. But I got there in the end of course... I always do...ha!”

She raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms at the rather annoying smugness that she would soon be wiping off his face any second now...But not yet because now she was rather intrigued to hear what bizarre theory he was about to deliver to her.   
It was rather amusing despite the seriousness of the situation.   
She could give him this moment at least.

“You went through a lot of emotional trauma last night...your fragile human body and mind are still in shock….confused...that explains the kissy, kissy thing...or perhaps it was the bath salt...no use by date..blast, i should have tested it with the sonic beforehand. Hmm, I wonder if there's still some left in the tub I could analyze later... you're probably having side effects. It makes perfect sense now…. you're not in your right mind...Yes...yes... you're all emotional and womanly mixed up in the mind all over the place yes?... Kissing...yes, you must be….Are you sexually aroused right now River? I could ask Jack to help if it's too much to deal with, it's ok, it's not your fault….Traumatic events can cause your human heart to race and your nervous system to activate which will be creating your intense state of arousal...you need some sort of relief don't you? The strange stories, imagining yourself to be someone else you poor thing….don't worry it should pass soon i would imagine once your body has finally adjusted to calmer waters. It's your fight/ flight mode still kicking in and you're still trapped in your subconscious trying to recreate an alternate reality away from the trauma your body is still recovering from...You just need to sleep it off River.”

He pointed a finger…

”First...I would suggest something strong to drink, I can sort that for you, no problems there. Then a visit to Jack to erm satisfy you're..., unless well, you can sort that yourself?... Humans can do that can't they... i think, well i mean i heard .. erm…. Anyway...yes um, where was i ...oh yes and back to sleep for you little lady... no less than twelve hours straight and that's an Order Miss Song!....”

He smiled innocently and rather proud of himself as he tapped her on the nose for good measure…  
River wasn't sure whether to laugh hysterically or punch his lights out...she was itching for the latter.

“Oh for pity's sake, put your hands on my goddamn chest will you...”

He cleared his throat abruptly...perhaps he misheard...

“I’m sorry what?”

She grabbed both his hands swiftly and held them side by side on her chest.   
His first instinct kicked in to bolt and he immediately tried to pull away but she didn't let him and held him there with a firm intensity that made him quickly submit and yield without question.  
He stared at her shocked by the action and she stared right back to him, eyebrows raised, simply waiting for it...but what?

“River I don't think…”

“Oh Shut up Doctor…”

He did as told for a moment of consideration and after a short bout of uncertainty, he finally felt what she was patiently waiting for him like a fucking saint to notice.  
( It can’t be! )....His fingers tingled against the steady rhythmic thrums of two beating hearts!  
His eyes widened as his mouth dropped slightly to hang.   
He looked down to his hands on her chest, then back up to her now slightly worried face, then back down again.   
He didn't back away, instead, he took a step closer as she released her grip on his hands but he failed to move them away from her warmth. Instead, he slid them to the side while he leaned in to place his ear daringly against the balanced rise and fall of her breasts.   
He listened intently for a minute...whispering to himself as he did so...

“A perfect binary vascular system...Two hearts..Gallifreyan..no no can't be.... thirty-seven degrees human... Skale, they had two hearts...what's their body temperature again? Oh, Rassilon's sakes I missed that class...Oh wait, Kirithon..they were genetically engineered to have two hearts, perhaps…”

“I told you the truth about Amy Doctor!”

He closed his eyes briefly then slowly pulled back and looked to her uncertain…she continued...

“My father is human that's why I’m...well, all a bit mixed up i guess aren't i?”

He shook his head doubtingly but still astounded by the revelation that River had two hearts.

“Not possible, it's biologically impossible! The two species are not compatible to reproduce in any way, shape or form!”

“I don't know how it happened ok, i was a kid when my parents died, i didn't have time to get all the answers from them. I remember, mum once told me that the Tardis had other ideas when i questioned her about my different heritage once...i still don't know what she meant by that!”

The Doctor could hear her words but still struggled to interpret them as fact...there were a thousand questions flying through his head like a meteor shower.

“The scans...The scans on the slave ships...they would have noticed the two hearts or whatever else you have that isn't human….”  
He looked up and down over her body quickly like she could have had twelve toes and sixteen fingers and he’d most certainly miss counted...

She had an answer for that one at least as she rolled up the sleeve on her arm to show him her human TB Scar…

”Dad was a Nurse... Mum got him to put a chip in here...i remember..she...she.said it would hide my insides away from the bad people that might want to hurt me if they found out about who i really was!”

The Doctor knit his eyebrows together and took her hand swiftly as he led her straight to his office.  
Swiping the sonic off his desk, he scanned her arm immediately….Nothing came up….he fiddled with the settings and after a moment it beeped and flashed yellow.  
He looked at it intently there was a sudden change to his features, as realization dawned on him...This was the proof he obviously needed a tiny spec of genius technology, that only Amy would be clever enough to come up with.   
She had told him the truth.   
He released her arm stepping back to sit on the edge of the desk before his legs gave out to collapse beneath him. 

“Internal biological perception filter...this is...it's unreal…..Nobody would know about it unless they knew exactly what they were looking for…. They wouldn't even suspect…. You... you were simply hidden in plain sight, even from me…Ohh Amy....”

He looked into her eyes deeply, so deep in fact that she felt herself casting her gaze down to look at the ground slightly uncomfortable by it.   
What must he think of her now...she was... not normal...not one, or the other.   
After a moment she felt his cool fingers lift her chin

“Can you...can you regenerate River?”

She nibbled her bottom lip, clearly uncomfortable having this discussion. She wasn't used to this...being so...so real, so truthful….she was used to the act...the persona she had created in order to survive and protect her identity.   
But he knew now, so what was the point in hiding herself any longer...

“Yes!”

“Um...How many?”

“This is my third...i...!”

“Shit...that's...Already?...That's too many, what happened?... How old are you?….Forget it, we need the Tardis to scan you properly before anything...!”

The Doctor rubbed his jaw...tense and she could practically see the cogs turning manically in his mind.  
He looked down over her body as if trying to attempt some kind of superman x-ray vision across her frame…

“What about…”

He tapped his own torso at the side...

“... the two extra ribs? Two livers...have you got those?... Do you have pulmonary tubes and a respiratory bypass like we do or...?...”

She threw her arms out manically...the tension radiating off her skin like firecrackers popping.

“Stop it, just stop it….I don’t know ok... please...just stop....!”

She turned and walked away a few steps, running a hand through her hair, closing her eyes in an attempt to calm herself down somehow or simply disappear if she could wish hard enough....

He quickly walked up behind her placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“I’m just trying to understand?”

She spun around sharply in anger...shoving him in the chest...

“No...no Doctor you are trying to dissect me like a fucking frog….I’m still me and you're looking at me like I’m a sort of new bacteria you just found on your shoe!”

He shook his head quickly, with nothing but worry and concern before her….

“Then you misread me tremendously River. I could protect you as a human before, I have an in-depth understanding of the human body, but i can't protect what i don't understand River. If something were to happen to you...then I need to know what I can and can't do. If they ever find out you're a hybrid, I'm sorry but you are...well kind of... then i can’t even begin to imagine what they’ll do to you.   
This has never happened before and my first priority is understanding you so I can at least keep you safe River.   
Amy made sure you were protected the best way she possibly could by being extremely clever in putting that chip in your arm. And I need to do the same thing right now...I need to continue what she started, it's all I care about right now don't you see….  
Christ the bloody Firebird...you did see it, i knew you did...it makes so much more sense now.   
You have telepathic abilities, don’t you?... But you haven't been taught how to use or control them yet... I wonder how far they go for you...Amy wouldn't have started to teach you things until your mind was more fully developed, probably your late teen's early twenties...but she never got a chance to protect your mind did she?... To show you how to defend and build walls against outside invasion.   
Please understand, I have to finish this River, as soon as possible...your mind is extremely vulnerable right now.   
You've been projecting too openly love! You pushed through my shields countless times unknowingly... I've felt it...   
That's why you've always confused me...i didn't understand...but it's dangerous love. You have no barriers or self-restraint to protect yourself….your mind is open right now and incredibly vulnerable to others who may dig deeper if they even so much as get a whiff of you!”

He backed away rubbing his neck pacing the office.  
What was the next step?...  
Where should he go from here?...  
He took a quick glance across to her.  
Her arms were folded around herself and she looked so small, so alone right now. All this talk about the past was painfully clear to see...like digging up a grave she didn't want to look in that coffin again…  
It was like he'd just ripped off a band ade and started to prod at the wound in her heart. Or hearts as it is!.

“you were eleven you said when Amy...she...and your father...you said you saw it happen didn't you? You were there, just a child….Oh god, I’m so sorry River, I’m so, so sorry i didn't mean.. .!”

He walked back to her quickly and embraced her desperately as if he could heal her suffering with his arms.   
She broke into a sob…  
The full understanding of her life and existence slowly became clear to him and it was heartbreaking….for both of them.   
She snuffled into him as she couldn't contain the tears that threatened to fall no more.   
He held her tightly, protectively and kissed the top of her head as his feelings overflowed, cascading like water.   
He once was lost but at this very moment, he suddenly felt whole again. Like coming home to a strange sense of familiarity.   
This woman who had ensnared his hearts quite unexpectedly from day one. Ever since she had burned a hole through his cranium with her talented fierce eyes for attempting to comically try and dominate over her.   
Yes, he was always drawn to her. Either entranced by her beauty, infatuated with her aroma, astounded by her brilliance, or startled by her bravery…  
He had wanted her... by all the gods in existence he had wanted her...but as what?   
He did not know.   
Was this the connection he sought?….  
Was it because of Amy he had always felt this way towards River?...  
Was it because time ran through her veins and he simply felt the flow of a familiar bloodline beside him?.   
No, No…  
He had felt this passion long before she had revealed her true identity to him.   
She just so happens to be everything that he desired. Everything he needed as a perfect opposite to shake him up and pull him back from the hopeless abyss of never-ending darkness.  
And knowing the truth about her simply made it even more fantastic.   
He could see her clearly now and he wasn't afraid anymore.   
She was his everything…  
All his hopes, his dreams, his strength, his teacher, his friend, his confidant.   
His world now resided beneath his arms wrapped around him with a beautiful warmth he never wanted to shed...so he held her close...He wouldn't let her go. Not Ever!

“I've got you, you're not alone anymore River...you'll never be alone again i swear!”

They held each other for a while, just content to be.   
He waited until River had calmed thoroughly before pulling back, but not too far, he wasn't ready for that just yet.  
He cupped her face and kissed her forehead tenderly. Brushing the last few stray tears away from her cheeks gently with his thumbs.

“I know what i need to do now River...the Tardis is awake...i...i thought she’d abandoned me...but it wasn't about me at all... I know that now. I thought she blamed me.   
But it was about you...about us...together!   
I understand now, she closed her doors because she was waiting...she was waiting for you to find me. I was angry and dangerous and she knew I needed you and that you needed me. She's open now, it's time...she's...waiting...waiting for us to…”

His eyes flew wide in realization...they could leave...they could escape...he was no longer bound to these chains, these stupid red-cloaked rules…  
His wings had finally returned to him.  
He backed away almost manic in expression and limbs jiggling with excitement, clapping his hands gleefully together as a child on Christmas morning.

“HA”

River was perplexed by his immediate excitement, almost forgetting the tears that fell not moments before.

“Doctor...what?”

He placed a hand on her shoulder quickly...still bouncing on the balls of his feet unable to contain the energy bursting inside …

“Get Jack... tell him to pack what he wants... just be ready to go... I won't be long...we’re leaving!”

“Were leaving?”

“Yes...yes...didn't i just say that...the old girl is waiting for us...mustn't delay...are you going in your pajamas River...i mean you can if you want to, i won't judge you... her wardrobe is huge, quite a selection actually...Oh you already know that don't you...ha...of course you do silly me...yes yes...ok then...”

He kissed her cheek swiftly…

”back in a jiffy!”

He flew out the door before she had a chance to question his scruffy attire from yesterday and noticeably bare feet.  
On the other hand, it didn't seem to bother him...although she was slightly concerned however about how far he would get into the citadel dressed like a drunk beat up homeless guy with no shoes!   
She walked out into the hall and after twenty-eight point three seconds he ran back in through the main door..wittering to himself.

“Forgot….forgot...yes i know i need to find clothing and shoes...idiot...Shoes would be good..Tardis is waiting for me. It's her fault I'm late...Nice hair, two hearts, eyes... lips...she's too bloody distracting…i’ll never get anything done with her around Sexy, don't gang up on me...who am i talking to...oh shut up you...”

He blew through the house like a hurricane and before long flew out the door once again this time looking a bit more respectable to be seen out in public.   
She rolled her eyes but couldn't help laughing at him…

Her mother was right... he really is a Mad Man with a box.


	9. Master Koschei

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor is back where he belongs but will he get back in time to save River ??  
> Sorry / not sorry.  
> Why does this story feel so complicated to write?...Argh...every chapter is so bloody difficult i hope its making some kind of sense LOL
> 
> Love feedback and Kudos are like kisses x x

He decided to get to the Tardis the hidden way, the way he and Amy used to sneak in through when they were young.  
It wasn't that he was no longer allowed to enter the Tardis bay, in fact, he had entered it quite frequently in the beginning of her lockdown before giving up entirely.  
They were probably watching him no doubt with delight as he moped around the exterior of his ridiculous blue broken ship with his sonic trying aimlessly to find a weak spot when his Tardis no longer functioned for him or allowed him entry.  
He could imagine them all joking and laughing at him from behind closed doors...or if the smirks on their faces when he stepped out of the lifts were anything to go by...not so closed!  
Of course, they wouldn't allow him to fly one of the other Tardises unless required to do so with other time lords. He wasn't even supposed to fly his own as a matter of fact. They considered it stealing for some strange reason, but he merely shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, considering it permanently borrowing. There was a difference...  
The other Tardises weren't his beloved box by any means, nothing would ever match up to her or his infatuation with his sexy girl.  
He was only ever allowed on a trip once with the others mind! Simply because the five scumbag red cloaks who were in his group had blabbed to Rassilon that he was too much of a control freak at the wheel (as if) and press all the wrong buttons.  
He had cursed their moronicness and by the book structure as he pushed them aside.  
He didn't see the problem with snatching one know-it-alls manual and throwing it out of the doors into the deep depths of a black hole because he refused to follow the instructions of the complete idiot who wrote it!  
Koschei had his back of course. Apparently he’d added some concoction into their morning brunch that gave them all diarrhea for a week...Theta tried not to laugh in his presence and scolded him for being utterly immature, but something about that was actually quite satisfying to say the least.

Now here she was back before him in all her blue, sparkling, mystical glory.  
When he finally approached her, she hummed and her light flickered in a welcome home gesture.  
He sighed relief as he slowed his pace to her doors, absorbing her like a drug.  
God, he had missed her.  
His hand stroked the cool surface of her beautiful blue wood grain.  
The texture and vibrations tingling through his fingers emitting enthusiasm. 

“Hello Old girl...you miss me?”

(...I always miss my Thief...)

“I’m sorry”

(...Learning is living... Live to learn... it's what you do best …)

He smiled, still caressing her doors with his fingers softly…

“I seem to have forgotten my key...”

(...Do it?...)

He laughed, immediately relishing in her intimate tone...She was being a cheeky minx…

“You think that's funny do you?”

She hummed playfully, he could practically feel her giggling with delight…

(...Doooo itttt...)

He sighed in jest, taking two steps away from her, bringing up his hand to raise in front of himself

“I see you haven't lost your sense of humor then, ”

He cleared his throat a bit and stretched out his neck in preparation...

“Let's get this show on the road then sexy, our lovely audience is waiting for us to make magic old girl!”

He snapped his fingers grinning from ear to ear as her doors flew open so fast he was incredibly surprised that the hinges held.  
He chuckled

“A little bit eager to get going are we…?”

He practically bounced inside, giddy as a child entering a sweet shop.

“Ohhh you've redecorated...i rather like it. Kinda whimsical, oldy worldly with a twist of bonkers. I could eat you up...”

He ran up the steps and walked around the console smiling as he took it all in.  
The wonderful feel of his ship beneath his feet. The sweet sensation of her motherly arms wrapped around him providing him with the security and comfort he had missed so dearly.  
He paused and clapped his hands together, rubbing them still slightly bewildered that he was finally back where he actually belonged…  
The only place that had ever felt like home.  
He became overwhelmed as a bout of uncertainty crept up to hit him like a sonic wave and he swallowed heavily feeling somewhat apprehensive about this sudden change in circumstance.  
He was delighted by it of course... but his confidence about such things had been lost somewhere along the way.  
He felt a bit nervous in actual fact.  
His precious girl knew her thief and she knew just what he needed to kick start his confidence and that tenacious belief in himself once more.

The grill on the floor popped open below the console making the Doctor startle and look down in wonder. He crouched to pull it away, finding an antique chest underneath.

“What have you got here for me then...a welcome home prezzy...a packet of Jammy Dodgers or something?”

He opened the lid and there lying neatly inside was everything he needed in that moment.  
Familiar lace-up faded black boots, dark-colored pants, deep red suspenders, button-up shirt with Tweed Jacket. Then laying neatly on top was a small case.  
He beamed as he picked it up knowing just what was inside, he flipped it open eagerly as his eyes twinkled with stars. 

“Yes...yes bowties really are cool aren't they!”

Back at the mansion River had told Jack in no uncertain terms that they were leaving as soon as The Doctor returned.  
Jack was totally blase about it, unbelieving and obviously still moody with Theta saying that there was nothing he wanted to take on `Thetas little pretend trip to LaLa land,` as the only things that he ever desired were his WW2 Trench coat, Webley Revolver and vortex manipulator which the bastards at the citadel had taken years ago.  
He also said not to get her hopes up about leaving because The Doctor was not the Doctor. He was Theta and Theta was a complete and utter arsehole nowadays and will probably come back with a chuffing robot dog or something to play chess with. Twat!  
There was a knock on the door, Jack sighed and put his exotic pink smoothie down on the table before he went to answer the new annoyance in his life.  
He opened it fully while Koschei wasted no time and breezed past him without acknowledgment, as usual, heading straight to the office expectantly like he'd done a thousand times before.

“He’s not in”

Koschei paused and turned quickly, eyebrows raised with question..

“Well…?? Where is he then Freak?”

“I haven't the foggiest. Perhaps he's gone for a mid-morning massage to get rid of those knots...No idea when he’ll be back but i will tell him you popped over for your regular brainwashing session...It's Jack by the way... do you have a medical condition that prevents you from remembering my name?”

Jack walked back over to finish his smoothie…  
Koschei narrowed his eyes behind him. It wasn't like Theta to leave the house like this...he had a set routine and generally followed it like clockwork.  
Koschei didn't leave as Jack expected or adamantly wanted him to...Instead, he came closer to the table which Jack was now perched upon sipping his drink.

“Hmm, you're highly amusing aren't you Freak...like his own private little Jester for entertainment purposes only. Perhaps I should suggest a clown suit for you to wear to match along with your jokes.”

Jack scoffed

“Yeah... like he’d listen to you!”

Koschei scowled before smiling deviously, 

“He listened last night when he was ordered to punish his slave for the council to witness... Was only supposed to do ten lashes, i had to stop him at twelve...Seems he rather enjoyed himself...I know i did!”

Jack stopped drinking, slamming his glass on the table as anger seeped into him once more. It wasn't taking much to rile him today because of his fight with Theta earlier.  
Koschei continued to smirk knowing that he had gained the upper hand in this convo and continued to press Thetas little toy just because it was amusing to him.  
He looked around...

“Where is she then? I imagine she’s still quite a bit sore, poor thing ....”

“That's not your concern and i think it's about time you leave Koschei”

Koschei though was not going to leave. He was having way too much fun with Jack... it wasn't often he found himself alone with Thetas favorite pet. 

“Nonsense...the party's only just getting started. Now show me…..Ohhh, hello there!”

River walked in a world of her own before she paused suddenly noticing the unexpected visitor.  
She glanced between the Redcloak and Jack frantically.  
Shit, what should she do?... Slave….slave mode and quickly.  
Eyes down she pretended to walk past and through to the living room.

“Hey, stop right there you.”

She halted her steps as Kosche came across to her, eyeing her suspiciously…

“What??…. How are you still standing here?….You should be practically crippled for at least a few days...”

He went to lift up her top to view the skin on her back curiously…..She flinched as Jack lunged for him. 

“GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER”

Koschei let go and spun back around to Jack, unphased by his temper 

“What on Gallifrey did he do?... He can't do this!”  
He pointed to her  
”...this was supposed to be a proper punishment...”

Jack practically growled, but tried to maintain the facade 

“There are no laws against hastened healing times Koschei...He needed his slave to work not to lie in bed all day. Besides, it’s none of your business what goes on in this house. Your overstepping boundaries attempting to lay a hand on his property when her master is out. I think you should go! ”

He stepped up to Jack...his gaze sharp and confrontational. 

“NO...No i don’t think so Freak. I think I'll hang around just a little bit longer...Hmm, Not very hospitable today are you, not even a bowl of my favorite nibbles. How very rude of you!

Jack squared up to him as Theta wasn't here to stop him this time...  
He knew he shouldn't, he really did, he could get in big trouble for this, especially if he so much as laid a finger on Koschei.  
But this little weasel had pissed him off one too many times...and closing in on River was pushing the bastards luck a little too far.  
River was watching them both worried like hell but transfixed at the same time as the two men practically compared the size of their cocks to each other.  
Jack stared him down aggressively, but Koschei only smirked knowing Jack could not lay a finger on him and if he ever dared he would make sure Rassilon followed through with his wonderful proposal of burying Jack deep in the death zone.  
Oh yes, he'd had quite enough of Mr Captain Jack Harkness and his interference between him and Theta...his patience was running thin and that was by no means a recent occurrence.  
He turned again to River and walked around her with clear intentions to rile Jack up more.  
He had always been jealous of Jack and his relationship to Theta...he hated that his childhood friend regarded the beast with so much affection that it made him sick with envy.  
River scowled, forgetting herself momentarily, then quickly deflected trying to contain her instincts to uppercut his jaw best she could...

“Well well, well, there you are then. Not as wild or as livid as you were yesterday are you girl...but still very intriguing to say the least. Beautiful too and brave i gather for daring to glance at me like you just did...I would punish you for that if I wasn't so incredibly impressed by it. If I were human I'd be...what do you call it again?... Oh yes... Turned on...Mmm, i like that! “

He chuckled to himself... or perhaps for his audience, either way, he was having fun with this torment.

“He always did have good taste our Theta and a genuine ability to always find the rare unusual ones. Even at university, he was uninterested by the normal...I suppose that's why he chose me to experiment on sex with through our curious more rebellious years...Human stuff. What a disgusting delight...even if it is a bit messy.  
You've probably had a go yourself no doubt being an ape and all with no apparent self-control over your silly little physical urges.  
The old-timers here frown upon it of course, but I can see the intrigue of its addiction even if it is a bit disgustingly primitive for us born of a certain higher class...  
I'm not a priest after all. I have been known to dabble on the wild side every now and again if I get exceptionally bored on occasion. You surely would be lovely to experiment with id imagine….And your mind...Mmm, i sure would like to get inside there for a fondle or two. Make you scream a little bit, or perhaps quite a lot! I’m really quite talented in that respect...I'm sure you would be….Spec-Tacu-Lar!”

River looked up swiftly. The way he just phrased that snagged her attention…it was nasty and spiteful and filled with deranged promise, but….(spec-tacu-lar) where had she heard that before…(Spec-Tacu-Lar)...She rolled it around in her head, replaying it over and over in the same over-pronounced tone that tore through her memories like shards of glass slicing her brain.  
Jack didn't like where this was going...and he really didn't like the things this lunatic was saying to Riv...The tension in the room was growing and something was gonna give way to an explosion of madness and soon.

“That's enough Koschei, Theta will hear about this and everything you just insinuated is cause for arrest...”

“Oh sod off Freak, I've got him wrapped around my little finger and you know it….” 

Jack practically growled, he'd had enough of this little shit.  
There was a very fine line of what was and wasn't allowed for him and even though he wasn't necessarily classed as a slave in that moment he snapped and tore past it uncaring with a vengeance to jab him.

“Think that if it makes you sleep easy at night you evil conniving little bastard, but Theta will never truly submit to you...He may not see how much you're trying to manipulate him slowly into a forced coupling until you get what you have always truly desired...him, as your spouse, as your bitch... but i do...I see what you're doing and I have every faith in him to make the right decisions at the end of the day... He will always be virtuous and decent and loyal to his true calling as The Doctor. You have no claim over that, over his conscience, his very soul and you never will. Yes he may be the brooding oncoming storm blowing a thousand different directions at a time but he will always choose to head to the light Koschei.. he will always follow the brightest stars to get away from the insistent darkness, so he will never side with the likes of you...Ever!” 

Koschei glared 

“You know, I should kill you for that little poke of yours Freak... in fact….”

Koschei wasted no time in pulling out his Laser Screwdriver only to jar it quickly under Jack's chin into his jugular...

“I just might”

River stepped forward, she recognized not only the words now but the weapon clenched tightly in this Time Lords' hand.  
It finally clicked into place, as her hearts sank to the pit of her stomach like they were filled with a hundred lead balls.  
It was him.  
Her nightmares had always been filled with a red-cloaked faceless figure. But there was no escaping that devious voice of his, or the Laser Screwdriver held in exactly the same place as he had threatened her father many years before.  
He was the one…  
This man had stolen everything from her. Her parents, her childhood, her beautiful blue box, her identity for christ sakes and even her sanity on occasion.  
The words fell from her lips in bewildered painful disbelief... 

“It was you!”

Koschei turned immediately as she had dared to speak in his presence.  
He was quite shocked by what he was seeing when he did so.  
She was pining him lethally with her gaze practically showering him with bullets from where he stood in her own private shooting range.  
He released Jack to give her his full undivided attention.

“Excuse me?”

She narrowed her focus even further if that was possible. Target forehead acquired it appeared!

“You...you killed them...you murdered them…”

He stepped closer towering above her in an attempt to re-assert his dominance over this feral, rather unhinged slave.

“My my my, you are a brave one aren't you”

He smiled…

“I feel rather titillated at the moment...please, by all means, let us continue. I’ve murdered a lot of beings in my time so you need to be a little more specific if we are going to have this interesting conversation together you and i…. Please specify as to who i may have murdered that bothers you so my dear”

She lifted her chin, a face filled with nothing but fury  
She said the only words he was sure to recognize. Her mother was one of his own kind after all and if he was as close to The Doctor as he appeared to be... then he knew her all too well.

“Amelia Pond!”

Koschei fell silent but tilted his head slightly, whether in acknowledgment or thought, she did not know.  
He rubbed his chin, before smiling once more. 

“You're funny...and that was a very nice story... if a little absurd!”

She almost laughed at his denial...

“You know it's the truth..don't lie...You were there, in Leadworth, by the old white farmhouse, it was late and the moon was full don’t you remember...of course you do! You took pleasure in killing six of the resistance that night with a group of your deranged followers...I was there...hiding like I'd been told to in the thicket!  
My father tried to stop you, to make you see reason but you showed him no mercy…  
She screamed for him, didn't she? Then attempted to strike you but you pinned her too fast against the old broken shed….You both spoke words to each other... to which i could not hear.  
You turned and pretended to walk away, grinning to yourself before spinning back around to shoot her full force with your laser...That one you have in your hand... Right there...”

She pointed to his screwdriver...

Jack stepped forward behind Koschei...was this true?  
Had this bastard killed Amy all along and played Theta like a fool.  
What was River doing there with Amy?  
This situation was getting increasingly heated and fast. 

“My goodness you are full of surprises aren't you little thing. A child of the resistance then, how utterly bizarre”

She scoffed...

“Bizzare...really? Perhaps killing humans is ok for your kind but I know for a fact that killing a Timloard in cold blood like that, however you perceived her to be with the resistance without a trial is a death sentence for you...isn't that so?”

He scratched his head, raising his eyebrows…

”Yes, yes you are entirely correct... and knowledgeable i see of our laws. Not so smart though by telling me all of this because now I’m going to have to fiddle around in that little mind of yours...It's either that or kill you and i do hate to waste good quality meat, especially if it keeps my little Theta happy or duty-bound...same thing really!”

That threat to Riv was all the excuse Jack needed to grab the bastard by the scruff of his neck to pull him away from her.  
It all happened so fast as Koschei stumbled backward, unprepared for his attacker.  
He snarled at him, throwing his fist in enraged retaliation. But it was all too slow as Jack's own tightly balled fist connected mercilessly with his face like a rock, throwing him to the floor from the sheer force of the blow...  
Within seconds of crashing onto his side, he aimed the laser directly to Jack's chest as Jack proceeded to come for him again in another seething attack.  
The electric-like pulse hit him like lightning as Jack fell to his knees from the blast. burning through his body like wildfire…  
River screamed as she darted down to him…  
“NO...no Jack”  
She was by his side in an instant holding him steady on the floor as he crumpled in into her.  
He found her eyes quickly as the world around him began to fade…his last breath a final effort to protect her...

”Riv...Run!!!”

His eyes fluttered closed and his body shut down into stillness.  
There was silence.  
Koschei rubbed his face and stood casually dusting down his robes as if this were an everyday occurrence.  
But River did not run.  
Instead, she gently placed Jack's head down to the ground before she stood almost too calmly with a whisper of outrage emitting flickers of crisp, sharp, focus.  
He looked to her smiling again... The bastard.

“Oh don’t worry about him..., The freak can't die!...Will be back soon enough i imagine... i gave him full force, so should give me all the time i need to play in your little head of yours”

She rounded him intensely circling him like a predator stalking her prey…  
He followed her around with his eyes, pretending to be unphased by this little production of hers, although bearing witness to the venom within those marvelous green emeralds was a little unsettling.  
He was surprised by this, astounded even.  
She wasn't running, or screaming. Not at all cowering like a fragile female slave of Earth should.  
She was simply taunting him...threatening him…` HIM`...Koschei, a powerful Time Lord of the High council.  
What was she stupid or something…?? Did she actually welcome death?  
She was fascinating, if slightly unnerving too.  
Theta really did have a jewel in his mitts...it was a shame he had to inflict damage upon her to be honest.

She was quick...he will give her that.  
Like a wild panther, she launched her attack. Wrapping her arms around his neck whilst simultaneously curling her leg around his own to topple him over, cleverly ragging the Laser away to slide across the floor as they wrestled.  
She was quick to straddle him however slight she appeared, he was instantly dumbfounded at how powerful and nimble she was and creative too in her ambush for him not to be able to grasp any form of control over her body.  
She wasted no time wrapping her delicate but ridiculously powerful paws around his throat like any wild cat would... she went straight for the jugular.  
He choked quickly as blood filled his head from the excruciating pressure she inflicted upon him.  
She was fucking tremendous, although he was slightly panicked now as she growled viciously baring her teeth to him. Squeezing the very life right out of him as he felt his body was quickly succumbing to the death she sought out.  
Fuck this was hot.  
But enough was enough... This was getting rather silly and he was sure to pass out and die at any moment and to be honest he was rather fond of this regeneration.  
She continued to choke the life right out of him as he slowly managed to bring his failing hands to her temples. For this was his talent.  
As soon as he touched her she gasped unexpectedly, relaxing her grip around his throat in an instant. She froze above him in a trance-like state.  
He gasped too, but only for air as he carefully maintained the contact of his fingers and the overbearing mental power he had forced upon her.  
Humans are so easy he thought as he gathered himself with a few desperate intakes of air.  
She was silent and frozen under his grip.  
And he still managed to smirk at her, the devious bastard. 

“Brave effort...I Actually really respect you for that...You're actually incredibly quite vicious aren't you? Got you now though don't i? “

He laughed,

“wish i had more time to play but better get this done, Jack won't be long i imagine...think ill leave you ontop though... kinda like it...never been on the bottom of a mind rape before...Mmm yummy...!”

He entered her mind quickly and painfully still dressed in his blood-red robes as he sought her out inside with a brutal force.  
They were back in Leadworth, of course they were... but the village was deserted with an eerie feel of Chernobyl about it.  
Looking down to herself she was a child once more, as she stood before this crazy master from the other side of the now blood-filled duck pond, pink feathers floating in death.  
She was afraid. Feelings of the night she witnessed her parents murder devoured her wavering resistance like a hyena snatching for scraps.  
The cold-blooded panic overwhelmed her as if the fear alone might kill her.  
...bringing up his hand he beckoned her over to him, his finger curling up like she had been a disobedient little girl and he was going to have some serious words about her troublesome behavior. 

His voice shot straight to her core tarnishing her inners with dread weighing heavily in her chest...

“Someones been a naughty little spy!! ”

Her eyes tore away from him as lightning broke out, the sky brewed a storm so wild that the leaves from the trees blew into her face like sharp piercing stones, scratching her flesh.  
Memories like clouds... HER..memories flew above them, passing overhead with such speed of haste she could not hold focus.  
It didn't feel like a dream as he opened up his arms out wide laughing at her like a deranged God, or slightly more fitting the Devil himself...Was this hell?  
All she could do at that moment was turn and run, as the echoes of his taunting laughter surrounded her now very dark world.


	10. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> See what you make of this....because quite honestly, i still don't get it LOL...  
> Does it read like gibberish, i'm not quite sure ....LOL Hope its a bit understandable at least? Hmmm, (hides behind a cushion)

Jack breathed the air into his lungs like it was to last remnants of oxygen in existence...boy he hated when that happened.  
His last moments before his death swiftly came into mind as he lifted his head quickly surveying the room all around him.  
River was straddling Koschei...that was well...odd, but she wasn't even fighting.  
She was practically flopped motionless above him.  
In fact, the only thing that looked to be holding her upright at that moment were his hands fixed tightly against her temples.  
Koschies was lying back, his eyes closed with his body tensely focused beneath her.  
Jack knew instantly that the bastard was forcing a mental hold over her and he wasted no time in surging to his feet.  
Plowing towards them with urgency before wrapping his arms around Rivers Torso rather roughly to pull her away.  
Koskhies' eyes flew open instantly at the severed connection as Jack dragged Rivers almost limp body back to rest against the nearest wall.  
Koschei was quick to his feet, feeling enraged now by the sudden break of contact.  
Spying his Laser across the way he made a beeline for it, but Jack surged forward before the bastard ever got a chance to get a grasp on the lethal weapon he desired...throwing the red-cloak into a brutal rugby tackle both of them crashing into the side unit with shattering force.  
Just as Jack threw back his tightly balled fist to throw a Harkness hard one...excuse the pun. There was a familiar yet unexpected sound filling the room. A wonderful sound...well to Jack anyway...  
The sound of hope!  
Both men looked across near the entrance doorway in bewilderment as the Tardis materialized into solid form in front of them.  
The door flew open and out he came bouncing giddily as a madman would, ridiculous clothes, bowtie and all... grinning like the cat who'd finally found its cream.  
He twirled around with an obvious over practiced production...

“TADAAAAAA”

He then paused abruptly upon his second twirl, after catching the not so encouraging sight of Jack and Koschei heaped up on the floor looking questionably ruffled..

“What?...What the hell???”

He then caught movement to the left of his field and gasped at the sight of River rocking disconcertingly against the wall. knees to her chest. Hands either side of her head as if blocking out piercing sound, or pain.  
Her eyes tightly closed firm.  
He ran over to her panicked trying in vain to gain her attention…

“River...River...it's me...what's happened? what's wrong? Can you hear me?...River?”

She didn't answer and continued to hold her rocking position. Mumbling to herself incoherently.  
He couldn't move her hands away from her temples in order to assess her mental state.  
Of course, he didnt want to force anything upon her, so he did the only thing he could think of in that second by pressing his forehead against hers to testingly graze her mind lightly on the outside with his.  
The turbulent trauma of flares hit him full force and he jumped back startled at the distress she was in.  
Anger erupted through him like never before as he turned back to the two men that were now up off the floor standing with Jack pinning Koschei firmly against the wall in what could be considered a death grip.  
He paced towards them, hands balled into fists...The oncoming storm in all his burning fury. Eyes fixated wildly on the smirking Time Lord he knew was responsible for this heinous assault on his...his ...well on his something rather special!  
Speaking through clenched teeth...!

“Jack take River into the Med-bay of the Tardis immediately. I will join you shortly!!”

Jack looked to Koschei whose eyes were now fixated with The Doctor as they stared each other down in their own personal contest of serious eyeballing.  
He nodded satisfied that The Doctor could handle this little dipshit and released his prisoner roughly shoving him before moving away.  
He hesitantly laid a hand on the Doctor's shoulder before he left…

“Riv..she...she said he killed Amy...!”

The Doctor swallowed hard his eyes darting to Jacks at the quiet unnerving sickness that dropped to his gut at this shattering disclosure.  
He acknowledged the words by nodding silently, before taking a slow deep breath to reassert himself somewhat...if he could!  
Jack made a move to go...but the Doctor took his arm...

“Jack...Wait, um the Tardis...she will provide you with a sedative for River, give it to her promptly!”

Jack didn't question anything, for his trust in The Doctor was always immense.

“Yes boss!”

Jack left them, scooping up River swiftly up in his arms holding her firmly against his chest protectively as he entered the Tardis!.

“It's gonna be ok Riv...he won't be long, he’s coming to help you gorgeous...!”

The Doctor turned back to Koschei and glared…  
Though Koschei was expressionless, he lifted his chin slightly higher in defiance.  
The Doctor knew the bastard had raped her mind brutally, that much was obvious from the distressed flares he’d felt attempting in vain to shield herself unsuccessfully.  
She had no way of knowing how to defend herself against such an unspeakable attack of brutal force and invasion.  
His worst fear come true.  
He also knew that Koschei had probably seen everything about River from that forced invasion and in doing so probably knew more about River than the Doctor himself…having probably bore witness to her previous incarnations in there.

“It's the Freaks fault if she's ruined you know...I never got a chance to seal the connection before the idiot ragged her away... But She's already dead anyway ..so what's it matter either way... They will kill her for what she is, i can guarantee that”

The Doctor stood his ground, his fists still clenched so tightly there was probably no blood flowing through to his fingers.

“I presume you were trying to erase the memory of yourself killing Amy...weren't you?... You betrayed me Koschei...why?”

Koschei scowled...

“She was a traitor Theta. On side with the Resistance, oh the nerve ...She left you stranded here...she left you... for them, urgh...of course i killed her for it...she deserved everything she got and more...And now i find out that she miraculously managed to have a spawn with one of those...those brain-dead apes...it makes me sick it does...human crossed with Gallifreyan...it's just disgusting.”

The Doctor bit his lip slightly...he was seething as he attempted to maintain control over the situation because right now if he let himself...he could be murderous and that would make him no better than Koschei.  
Koschei continued to spit out his speech pointing across to the Tardis….

“She's an abomination...The true Hybrid that the prophecy speaks of...She is the one that will certainly destroy Gallifrey, i can see it now...she must not exist Theta...you must know this surely my friend... Do not be so naive as to be blindsided by her bewitching womanly charms. ”

He ignored Koschies delusional words of wisdom heading directly to point.

“You’re no friend of mine Koschei”

Shaking his head at how stupid hed been...

“I was foolish to ever think you were. You think you owned me for a time, but not anymore…. Gallifrey will once again be a free, peaceful and knowledgeable world, i will see to it...as it should have always been. It will offer its help to others where needed because that's who we are without the pressurized conditioning of the poisonous citadel...Not you, not the council...but the real people of Gallifrey... the ones whose hearts still beat openly in their chests. The people will act when I call... I believe in... them just as they have always believed in me!”

The Doctor stepped up to Koschei...his face inches away from the steam of his breath..His voice slowly raising in uncontainable rage.

“ And what in the hell, ever made you think... that trying to get to me... THROUGH THE PEOPLE... THAT I LOVE……….is in any way a good idea? ….. Then i want you to remember this day...remember it because this is the start of the end for you...For all of you!

Koschei merely laughed...

“What are you gonna do then ...kill me?..., Kill the rest of the council...Ha...Like you ever could!... And for what?... For who?... Those, those freaks...What do you collect them now or something? You're supposed to be a Time….Lorrrrd Theta...When are you finally gonna start acting like one and grow the chuff up to end this stupidity for Rassilon sakes?”

The Doctor took a step back but spoke with a certain level of calm that was highly unsettling…

“Ohh, I’m not a killer Koschei, at least I try not to be...and I'm not Theta anymore...I am The Doctor and I will have my vengeance by doing what's right in this universe...you have my word on that. Amy's sacrifice will not be in vain and you're really going to regret ever laying a finger on her daughter! If i wasn't restraining myself right now i would break every one of those ten digits with pleasure...but that's not very Doctory of me is it? I choose to be better than that. 

He walked away leaving Koschei stunned by his abrupt departure...Koschei held out his hands

“What... is that it? You're just going to go?...Run away like you always wanted to...I'm sorry but i don't get it...Is that meant to frighten me or something?”

The Doctor turned before reaching his box…now with a slight smile curling his lip

“Uncertainty is a frightening thing Koschei..you’ll learn that soon enough...Don't wait up!”

Stepping into the Tardis the doors closed for it to dematerialize in seconds.  
He took her straight into the vortex parking her up somewhere safe with haste.  
He needed to get to River.

Jack was pacing the side of the bed in the med bay nervously chewing on a fingernail when the Doctor walked in.

“Thank god...what took you so long? Did you hang the bastard up by his balls then shoot the fucker in the gob his sonic prat stick?”

The Doctor ignored Jack's rather to the point questioning as he wiped off his Jacket hanging it by the door before he began undoing his cuffs to roll up his sleeves in preparation.

“I take it you gave the injection yes?”

“Yes….and what the hell was that stuff...she just keeled over on me as soon as i injected her with it... I thought id killed her at first you fucker!”

The Doctor took out his sonic wisping it around her head, then carefully lifted up each eyelid, in turn, checking her pupil dilation. 

“Language Jack...It's a special sort of sedative... a muscle relaxant, but does not affect the mind only the rest of the body. I need her fully operational up there if I have any chance at all in finding her…

Jack grabbed hold of the bed frame tightly as The Doctor proceeded to check over her pulse... 

“Finding her Doc? What do you mean finding?... She's right there”

“She’s lost Jack... Her mind is flared and she can't escape it...I need to find her quickly to pull her out...The longer she stays in there the more she will become part of the dream world, the memories...she won't be able to understand what's real or not...She could be any River in her memories right now and i have to find out which one. It could be difficult. This is a first for me!”

“Shit”

Yes...my thoughts exactly...Errr right i... I really need some quiet here...this may take time to...you might wanna….”

The Doctor nodded over to the door...

“NO...Get on with it…. I’m not going anywhere if this goes tits up, I’m staying put!”

“Oh..ok good” (An audience to watch him fail...fanfuckingtastic)

The Doctor scratched his head, suddenly looking rather pale and panicked, rubbing his hands together nervously as he stared down to the most important woman of his life. She looked beautiful as always but so utterly fragile at this moment. What if he really did fail…?  
Sensing his anxiety Jack made a move…

“Hey, Doc...Look at me...Look”

The Doctor paused his stressing tearing his eyes away from River to Jack

“She's gonna be fine...you got this...you can do it!!”

He nodded repeating Jack's words.

“I got this!”

Jack smiled

“Damn right...now go get our girl”

Nodding again with a little more confidence the Doctor sat on the bed beside Rivers torso, reaching out to carefully touch her temples with shaking fingers.  
Even before he made the first physical contact against the warmth of her skin he could feel the turbulence pressuring him to pull away, to flee…  
But he didn't. He couldn't.  
He would never leave her alone again he vowed…  
He’d made a promise and he intended to keep it!

Connecting was harsh as he lurched straight into a bright white corridor filled with nothing but doors either side.  
Doors that should be pleasantly closed but not locked unless required to be so.  
But every room in her mind was left wide and open and firing off memories and sounds like a blizzard of utter pandemonium.  
The Doctor's ears hurt excruciatingly with the noise as he battled to focus on closing them up.  
These were the memories that Koschei had invaded, he growled inside…  
To a Timelord there was nothing he could possibly have done worse than this...but he couldn't dwell on that now could he? Now he needed to be a Doctor and fix this.  
The Doctor forced himself not to look into any rooms as he started to make his way slowly up the ear-shattering corridor with his eyes closed.  
These were her private chambers and he would not invade her privacy like that by peeking.  
His hands held out either side of him while he walked, using his skilled telekinetic energy to beckon the doors to close as he passed. Each sound from the rooms muted as he did so until he was able to actually discern certain things, as more and more noises evaporated.  
Some of the things he didn't like and shuddered as he passed those memories feeling the chill from the rooms causing gooseflesh and upset.  
One room in particular, caught his attention and he couldn't help but pause... smiling as he listened intently to the singing of Happy Birthday.  
He could even hear Amy's voice from that room clear as crystal as she called out…

“make a wish Mel’s”

...and her father? 

“Make it a good one princess!”. 

He felt so much love from that room, love he personally was unaccustomed to and it wasn't as scary as he imagined it would be. It felt pretty good actually!

But still...he dare not look...it wasn't his place and he hoped she could forgive him for the slight intrusion of his ears.  
He proceeded begrudgingly and the more he walked the quieter the hall grew as more and more doors closed.  
Until there was nothing but silence.  
He finally opened his eyes looking back down the white hall.  
Job well done he thought.  
Step one complete.  
Now to find her.  
He spoke loud and clear, his words bouncing off the walls in ricochet.

“River it's me...The Doctor...?”

Nothing…

“If you can hear me I need you to follow my voice, but if you can't do that then I need you to help me to find where you are love. I'm not one of your memories River... I'm real and I’m here for you, trust me”

Nothing...perhaps she thinks he's Koschei...

“I'm... I'm not him and this isn't a mind trick... you can tell by my aura...you’ve felt it... I know you have. We connect perfectly like jam and bread. It will be familiar to you... I'm your Doctor, your friend...yours...focus on my energy it will help you understand. Please...please River help me...show me where you are''

Nothing…

The doctor ran his hands down his face...this was not good. She can't be lost...she just cant be...Then just when he began to lose the last of his dwindling hope there was a flicker of light.  
At first, he thought he imagined it but then it happened again, filling him with pride and joy, he knew she had the ability...a human would have succumbed...but not her...she could do anything!

“YES...that's it...you can do this...fight it River...show me the way... I’m real... I'm here for you”

Another flicker...then a sharp crash of what sounded like thunder startled him practically out of his virtual skin before propelling him quickly to darkness.  
He found himself now standing in one bare room contained with two doors.  
Placing his ear against the nearest, there was the gentle soothing hum of the tardis.  
The way out he presumed.  
Walking across to the second door he immediately heard the sobs of what sounded like a child.  
He opened that door swiftly, without hesitation.

He walked straight out onto the gravel of a lane. There were plentiful trees and it was night as stars filled the sky.  
Ahead of him was a white picket fence and a large white country home behind it.  
There was another sob breaking through the crisp chill of the air, so he opened the gate as he followed the sound of the child…. following the path around the side of the untamed garden as smells of wildflowers filled his senses.  
He paused when he caught the distressing sight of five (dead?) bodies laid out on the grass. A small child knees to her chest and hands over her ears rocking by the side of the furthest figure.  
He closed the distance slowly but cautiously as he approached the little girl.  
She had long brown hair and looked to be in a pretty cream nightdress of sorts with small red hearts scattering it. Her feet were bare and dirty.  
She looked cold too as her frame trembled in motion.  
The Doctor gave a quick glance at the body next to her...He then noticed she had wrapped her own dressing gown over the man's torso in a heartbreaking attempt to keep his body warm.  
A tall slim man, with the same colour hair but a rather large nose.  
He looked the friendly type if there was such a thing.  
His focus then returned to the child...he guessed who she was in an instant. He could feel River’s essence pouring off of her in waves.  
He spoke quietly...

“Hey there”

She startled scrambling backwards across the damp chill of the grass with fright.  
The Doctor was quick to hold up his hands unthreatening as he stayed at her level.

“It's ok... it's ok, I won't hurt you...I’m here to help you... I’m The Doctor... a... a friend !”

She took in the sight of the man before her, eying him over suspiciously like any miniature version of River would... her eyes eventually resting selectively upon his bowtie.

“Your mum's Doctor Friend?”

He smiled…his River always so smart

”Yes...I'm your mum's Doctor friend...i loved your mum very much, even when she told me off for being naughty!”

The little girl wiped away the tears on her cheeks and looked down as she spoke.

“They carried her away after the bad Timelord shot her...i don't know where she is now...they shot daddy and his friends too.”  
She crawled forward a bit to place her tiny hand on the dead man's cold shoulder.

“He won't wake up...my dad...can you...can you please help me make him better?”

The Doctors heart’s crushed further, as he held back tears of his own which threatened to fall.  
This was Rivers' pain and he could feel it stabbing him in the worst kind of ways.  
She was trapped in this memory of the night her parents were killed.  
A little girl of eleven left alone in the darkness surrounded by death.  
How long did she stay by her father's side expecting him to wake or the Tardis to return...  
Did anyone come for her?  
Did anyone comfort her?  
Where did she go from here…?  
Questions he really didn't want to ask or even know the answers to...sometimes the truth is simply too painful to hear!  
Swallowing the lump in his throat he continued to work the problem.  
This was Melody now, not River and he needed to proceed with caution; he needed her to trust him and go willingly with him now.

The Doctor laid his hand softly over hers that still rested gently upon her father's shoulder.

“Sweetheart, I can't make him better, no Doctor could”

She looked up to him wounded, her eyes beginning to fill with tears yet again…  
There was no curly hair, no slight bump of her nose... This was probably her original incarnation and she was a darling if anything, a sweet little innocent. But even though her eyes appeared hazel, not green, he could still see River in them, and the wild spirit that existed there.  
She proved her defiance by her next approach to the trauma around her...

Standing up quickly with a growl probably intended to sound fierce like Rottweiler but sounding more like a cute little puppy

“Arghhh...If you're really The Doctor you can fix anything right? Mum even told me you could...we can go backwards, it's possible Doctor, i know it is”

The Doctor stood with a sad sort of sigh while rubbing the dirt off his knees biding his time while wondering how he could verbalize this in a way not to add more pressure to her pain...there was no way around it...  
She quickly grasped his hand in an effort to persuade him further (smart)

“come on we have to find nana!”

She started to pull him but he halted her steps quickly.

“Whos Nana?”

“Ya know, Nana, The the Tardis...they couldn't open her up cos she wouldn't let them in, so they dragged her away...but we can get her back and change this...we can do it... I know we can...come on Doctor ”

She attempted to pull him again, but he stopped her firmly turning her to face him as he bent down to her level once more.

“River we can't!”

“ River Who?”

The Doctor shook his head, taking hold of her other hand in an attempt to regain focus. God, she was so surprisingly headstrong, even at this age she never ceased to amaze him...

“Melody...Mels yeah? We can’t change this night sweetheart, we can't stop this from happening. We have the Tardis back... I went to get her for us and she's waiting for you now. But we can't go back to change things Melody... It's just not possible. We can't ever stop this from happening. It's a fixed point and your mum would have told you the same thing...Too many other lives would be put at risk.  
And you need to know...I would do anything for you darling... anything you ask...but I can't do that Mels. I can't bring them back.”

She tried to pull away from him, but The Doctor held firm, as she sobbed openly and fought in his grip. 

“No..no no ...please... it's my f...fault...i could have helped, i was supposed to run back to Nana when they came... I only wanted to see the...the red clothes of Gallifrey... I shouldn't have peeked…. I should have done something to stop them... I was too scared... I couldn't move... I’m...I'm bad...please... it's my fault...if i....we, we...need to fix it p..please…doctor please..help...help me.”

He pulled her into his chest and she broke against him instantly giving up as she wrapped her arms around his neck tightly to seek comfort.  
He soothed her by placing a kiss against her head. Whispering words of comfort

“Shhh, shhh my little one, it's not your fault sweethearts...and your mum and dad would be so proud of how brave you are. There was nothing you could have done to save them, they just wanted you safe. I didn't know your Dad but i bet he was wonderful, brave and determined just like you. And your mum...well she was my best friend and she never gave up, she was a fighter for everything good in this world and others beyond and i see so much of her in you ya know,...your just like her in so many ways.”

Mel pulled back a bit, wiping her eyes again..”, i ... I am?”

The Doctor smiled 

“yeah course... your brilliant you are...just like her” 

He tapped her chest gently with his finger 

“and she will always be in there with your dad ya know, guiding you...you just have to imagine what they would want you to do that's all...then just listen to the answers they give”

She paused biting her lip in the way that he had seen River do on occasion.  
Some things never change he thought... no matter the change in body. 

“They...they wanted me to find you”

The Doctor beamed happily”

“Well, wouldn't ya know...mission complete...what a clever girl you are. “

Then he tapped her nose for good measure  
She managed a giggle through tears and it melted his insides to soft runny chocolate.

He stood up with a new level of energy, feeling Rivers increasing essence beside him.

“Come along Pond, Nana Tardis is waiting for you I imagine.”  
He kept a hold of her hand and started to lead her the way back when suddenly she slipped through his grasp…

“Wait Doctor...”

“Mels?”

She ran to the border carefully selecting, then plucking two pretty white roses.  
He watched as she ran back to her father pausing briefly in-breath before placing them tenderly upon his cold damp chest.  
She wasn't afraid as she kissed his cheek lovingly before whispering some private secret, for his ears alone.  
The sight was strangely heartbreaking to witness, yet beautiful all at the same time.  
She ran back to him, placing her small delicate hand into his once more.  
He noticed her finger was bleeding…

“Hey, you ok Mel...you cut yourself?”

She looked down..shrugging her shoulders when she noticed...

“There were thorns...It's...it's ok though. I’m really quite tough”

The doctor smiled as he undid his bowtie pulling it free.

“Oh i know you are, but let's wrap it up shall we...makes me feel like a real Doctor that way”

She rolled her eyes in such a familiar Riveresk way that he almost chuckled by it.

“Ohhh K…if you must”

He wrapped the fabric around her hands in a makeshift bandage. She hummed to herself before commenting on it.

“It's like a Gallifreyan handfasting mum told me about...if you wrap your hand with mine, we would be married!”

He lifted his eyes to the little girl in front of him, turning slightly red as she swooned, biting her lip a little while batting her eyelashes with bewildering professionalism. Oh yes... if this girl wanted a pony, he would be on horses4U.com in an instant!  
He then remembered the words River had divulged to him...(I was going to Marry you one day!).  
Most little girls crushed over boy bands and sports personalities, actors and such.  
But Mels...well apparently Melody Pond had always been interested in a Madman with a box.  
Looking back down slightly embarrassed by the attention, he tied it up neatly. Then placed a small tender kiss on the wrap...a finishing touch! Kisses are supposed to make things better he mused.  
This wasn't real of course, any of it. This did not happen in reality...she wasn't really bleeding, this was a dream state now...a real memory extorted into something temporarily different...but he had a duty to act and behave as naturally as possible since he entered this world. For this was a child's memory and it wasn't worth the risk to rush it by dragging her out of there scared. 

“Well, perhaps when your nearly as tall as me...and if I’m extremely lucky of course...you’ll be the top of my list!”

She giggled with a blush...too cute for words this one...and the bravest little girl he could ever have known!


	11. Bound Together

The doctor opened his eyes, slowly coming back to his senses, closing the connection thoroughly, before allowing his fingers to fall away from her temples.  
He took a deep steadying breath as he kept his eyes fixated on her a moment.  
There was a rustle of sound behind him and he turned to Jack who was getting up from the chair, stretching.

“God Doc….you were out for hours...Did you find her?... She's ok yeah?”

Just when he was about to answer Jacks questioning there was a gasp as River lunged forward in a panic.  
The Doctor was quick and attentive as he expected her disorientation and probably concussion from the severe mental interference she’d suffered..

“It's ok, you're safe…. just you me and Jack and the Tardis of course.”

River was sitting up now looking around the medbay while her hand clung onto the Doctor's arm grasping it tightly as she attempted to gather her bearings.  
She closed her eyes briefly in nausea before opening them again.  
Her skin paled in an instant while a sudden sheen of sweat graced her brow….Jack instincts kicked in and was quick to react as he turned to the nearest cupboard knowing the Tardis would understand what he needed.  
She was quick to provide a bowl thank god. 

“Doctor...I don’t feel…. I think I’m gonna be….”

She retched over the side of the bed just in time as Jack placed the bowl underneath her.  
The Doctor held back her hair as she emptied the contents of her stomach until she was utterly exhausted and spent.  
“You're gonna be ok, just rest Riv...”  
Jack moved away with the bowl to fetch her some water.

Lying back down with the Doctors guidance she apologized profusely, with slight embarrassment to her features, however ill she felt.

“I'm so s... Sorry…”

The Doctor brushed a curl behind her ear, 

“Hey, it's ok! Not your fault...you're gonna feel a bit rubbish for a while, it's to be expected”

Jack handed her a glass of water, which she took gratefully, taking a small sip before handing back. 

“Thanks Jack...Are...are you ok...he...he killed you?”

The Doctor looked over to Jack. He hadn't seen what happened between Jack and Koschei, but he knew that Jack would have done anything to protect River.  
He felt an overwhelming pride in his friend/brother. He knew that Jack couldn't die of course... but he also knew that every time he did it was like the first time for him.  
Jack was still human after all, he wasn't a god, he still felt the fear and pain like the rest of us and it was never going to be something he ever got used to.  
Yes...Jack was like a brother to him and it killed him too inside when it happened.

“I’m fine thanks doll, we were more concerned about you...Had us all pulling our pubes out for a second there!”

The Doctor made a squeak and squirmed in uncomfortable displeasure…

“Jack...honestly, do you have to say things like that? Good grief... Go get me a cold cloth for River’s brow will you?... ...She's hot!”

Jack shook his head…

“Hey look Doc, now isn't the time to just blurt out how sexy you think she is... the woman needs time to recuperate... at least buy her a drink first!”

The Doctor looked confused, before stuttering to clarify…

“W..what...Oh.. wait, no, no, her temperature you idiot, her temperature….Not that she isn't..., I mean she is, but she's overheated now... but in the other sense of the word she will always be...but what I'm actually saying is…..Oh bollocks.....just go Jack... I hate when you do that to me…”

Laughing with a salute before smiling at River. She gave a wink and a smirk which satisfied Jack's hidden concern still lingering underneath his joking facade.

The Doctor and River were quiet for a moment before she questioned what happened

“Were you in my head...was it all just a dream?”

“Yes and err yes….”

Another moment of silence as she processed the information before proceeding...

“What...what happened to Koschei...I fear he is still inside my mind...you're sure this is real?”

“It's real, I assure you... and no love, he's gone, I promise... and he will never touch you again. Ever. No need to worry!”

She frowned, still looking a bit puzzled.  
The mind was a confusing thing when it hadn't been used to its full potential before.  
And being a telepath with certain mind abilities that had never been used and yet to be explored further was all very new and alien to her.  
In time though ...when she was well enough to grasp it, he would teach her how to handle her talent to its full potential... 

“Um...Thank you...for... you know….!” 

She looked down shyly... obviously not used to accepting another’s help it appeared.  
River was tired and unusually unguarded...She needed rest, for she would never willingly appear so vulnerable. He could clearly see she felt uncomfortable by it.  
The Doctor on the other hand... found it so bloody endearing and he felt so overprotective by her exposed state. Wanting nothing more than to look after her. To tend to her every need. Make her smile if he could.  
He lifted her chin attempting to soothe her discomfort somehow...

“Hey...hey there...i would do anything for you...Anything River”

They stared into each other eyes with a deepness that was so fond it was kind of homely in fact and for a briefest of moments he felt what could only be described as a powerful jolt of electricity….like a golden grappling hook shooting forth from his hearts directly to hers.  
He latched on, became anchored to her somehow and subconsciously from his own doing... not hers.  
What did he do?  
Feeling his natural instincts take over, he dropped his hand quickly and attempted to step away from the newness of it all.  
She flinched instantly at the loss. Her lips parted slightly in a way that silently pleaded for him to stay.  
He thought he saw tiny flecks of golden glitter blaze up in her eyes at his nervous resistance when he pulled away.  
This questionable intrigue drew him forward again...bringing his hand back up he caressed her cheek as only some sort of physical test he tried to justify.  
The flecks of gold in her eyes drew back as her body relaxed once more from his touch...but then what was even more concerning or fascinating or both. Was the overwhelming desire to move closer still. How? Why?  
He wanted to hold her. No...no wait...he felt like he wanted so much more than that...  
Shield her with his body. To press his Timelord coolness against her intoxicating warmth.  
To mash together like paint on a pallet...What would it feel like? What amazing art could they create together if they blended in carnal desire?  
He yearned to kiss her and not just a small chaste kiss...but a deeply meaningful one like he'd seen in so many of Jack's slightly pornographic Earth films.  
What would she taste like?  
And really...what would her naked skin pressed against his would do to his senses?….Fuck...The thought alone brought his pulses a racing and his insides a tingling….  
These were the sort of things that should never be discussed or even entertained in the mind as a respectable product of a high born Gallifreyan...even for a second.  
Were these teachings ingrained in him in question? Yes, they were, perhaps always had been!  
He was married to a female...to his Romana of course...who he loved and admired dearly...They were handpicked to join from the loom, but he never felt like this towards her...this unrestrainable attraction and desire. They were never physical together. In Fact, he shuddered at the thought of that….But with River...Blasphemy…. Was he ill?  
The sudden connection, as intense and disturbing as it was, evaporated as soon as it came and he gulped in relief by it. Or was that disappointment?  
Christ... what the hell was happening to him?  
He felt a bit dizzy actually. His hearts were still beating wildly in his chest and even his armpits were sweaty and he hadn't been running, when he now came to think of it. He should have been running fast...very fast ...and away...  
This was highly disturbing but still very interesting for a man of science of course.  
He both feared and desired its recurrence.  
Rather annoyingly more of the latter.

Clearing his throat a little, Jack came back with a cold damp cloth, looking between the two as he approached with a knowing smile.  
Handing it over to the Doctor before leaning in to kiss Rivers head gently he spoke.

“I’ll leave you two for a bit. I was waiting for hours Riv `n` really gotta pee.... I’m bursting a bladder here, it's gonna be Niagra falls when the zipper comes down.

She burst into laughter and it was a beautiful sight for both men to see.  
The Doctor shook his head smiling at River as Jack left the room.

“Honestly, River it's like living with a child sometimes...”

He placed the damp flannel over her forehead dabbing it a little...

“How are you feeling...any better?”

She sounded a little bit horse and still looked pale and he very much wanted to plaster tender comforting kisses around her face. Jack had just landed one to her head and he had felt a stab of jealousy at that. Get a grip you insane idiot...the idiot was not listening!!!

“Yeah, much thanks...just tired...It feels so nice to hear the Tardis again, I love when she hums like that...I missed her!”

He nodded in agreement as Rivers' eyes drifted closed..  
She needed to sleep now and the Tardis was soothing her with the familiar song...It was a Gallifreyan lullaby he noted.  
She had called the Tardis Nana as Melody...The Tardis was Family to her, not only to himself...and he loved that little fact about River...Her hearts truly belonged here... as did his! 

“Sleep River...You're safe now!”

Twelve hours later the Doctor was in the kitchen making tea when Jack entered in now’t but his boxers. Typical caveman.  
Plonking himself down on a chair while reaching for the packet of jammie dodgers that were left on the table…. Accidently...shit!  
Then yawned through his speech.

“Hey Doc...yeahhhh go on then thanks...One extra sugar please”

The Doctor turned to look at him scoffing at his bed hair before returning back to pull out another mug for Jack.

“Ya know, you should put on a t-shirt Jack, there's a lady about the house. How many times must I tell you this since River arrived in our life?”

Jack raised an eyebrow smirking

“Why... jealous?”

“NO...No not at all...it's just... considerate is all…”

The Doctor made his way over to the table with the two cups of tea...

“I’ll have you know that Riv told me only last week that I have a very nice body...worthy of modeling she said... Said she'd like us to go swimming sometime so she could see me all wet. “

The doctor practically tripped over his own feet as Jack was quick to take the cups out of his hand before spilling the whole lot. 

“Oww hot, hot, hot….Oh, she did? Oh well ok...that's erm...nice i suppose….!”

The Doctor cleared his throat a little when he sat...while trying to discreetly look down his own body mentally comparing his lanky frame to Jack's rather muscular one...Regenerations he cursed...it's a bloody lottery.  
Why'd he have to look like a skinny giraffe hmm?  
After a nice soothing sip of his tea, he attempted to get back on a more comfortable track once more while ignoring Jack's rather toned chest...and fuck... where the hell did he get that tan from? Did he pop over to Barcelona while he was busy studying soulmate symptoms in the library or something? Hells bells!  
He ran a hand through his hair...His nice boy band hair...look how wavy it is...and ...and silky...HA...in your face he thought. He had something at least.

“Did you look in on her Jack?...I checked earlier but she was still soundly sleeping...it's been nearly twelve hours…perhaps i should...”

“Oh yeah, i nipped through... she was just getting up. Looked so much better though, her cheeks were that nice rosy colour again. Just said she needed a shower and some fresh clothes... Told her you were making a nutritious breakfast for us all and to join us in the kitchen afterward!”

The doctor was quick to stand…The chair screeching back across the floor.

“JACK...What ya say that for you idiot?... You know I’m rubbish at cooking...or baking or whatever it's called...that's why i leave it to you, or more recently River. What am i supposed to do now then eh smart arse?.... She'll be expecting something edible...something probably not scrambled or burnt to a pulp...I can't believe you did that?”

Jack laughed at his flustering.  
This teasing was really quite fun...The Doctor had finally been ensnared by a female and it was really an amazing sight to behold.  
In Fact It was probably the most excitement he'd had since he’d made out with that tentacle being with twelve breasts and three vaginas and a cock on Vangladar. Now that was a good day...well... week, if he remembers correctly...God how could he forget Vangladar!  
He shook it off quickly, now wasn't the time to get hard..

” Calm yourself down Doc and get out a pan...i’ll talk you through it...gotta learn sometime!”

Breakfast was nearly done when Jack focused on more serious matters than staring at The doctors behind..

“What's the plan then Doc?”

“Hmm, Plan?”

“Where do we go from here?... Cos I have to say it...if we're not gonna go back and figure this out, you better drop me off on the nearest rock because I'm not leaving my Ianto down there for starters, he's important to me you know! ...Then there's the rest of humanity to think about, it's only going to get worse from here and that's saying something. Plus they will be looking for you and the Tardis and Koschies probably already telling them about Riv!” 

The doctor turned folding his arms over his chest to look at Jack …  
“We’ll get Ianto Jack, you have my word on that. You probably know his usual delivery schedule, we could kidnap him on route as it were...a quick grab and run type thing. But first I need to focus on River before we even consider attempting to fix Gallifrey….Do you know what she is?”

Jack scratched his chin a bit…. Thinking carefully before answering.

“I think i do now...yes...When i gave her the injection... thinking I’d killed her you bastard!!! I checked over her pulse...was surprised to find two, then I understood what it all mental...She's... She's Amy's daughter isn't she?”

“Hmm Yes...yes she is but not full Gallifreyan...Her father was human!”

Jack looked shocked before his brow drew together...

“That can't be right...it's not possible..i thought...”

The Doctor nodded understanding Jack's disbelief, as he’d felt it himself at first.

“I know... but it happened, she's fact and she's here and we're responsible for her now. We have a duty...She has to be protected.

There was a scoff by the door...

“Oh...I’m sorry to be so much of a burden for you two...but I don't need your protection...I've survived long enough without it on my own thanks. I’m not a child and i didn't need you even when i were...I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself. So ill do you both a favor now by taking you off that little obligated hook you just practically hung yourselves with!”

River turned to walk away from the doorway as both men jumped to attention stepping forwards…

“No, wait”.......“Riv stop”

She turned, freshly cleaned and smelling of roses, dressed in black trousers and what the Doctor recognized immediately as one of Amy's Red checkered shirts.  
He swallowed down the lump in his throat, before moving forwards again.  
He took her by the arm to usher her through.

“Come on.. you need to eat and I made breakfast for all...was a first for me, but please just try a bit yeah?”

She begrudgingly sat down with a huff as the Doctor brought the plates over in silence while Jack poured River a Fresh Orange.

“Bottoms up...not literally of course….unless you want to that is?”

River rolled her eyes, but broke a slight quirk of the lips however much she tried not to. 

“It's called a full English Breakfast apparently...Jack showed me how...I call it a mess on a plate but it's rather delicious to say i made it...All Jack did was slap or squeeze my arse on occasion in-between ogling...”

She smiled a little more as she eyed him when taking a bite of her bacon...quietly taking in everything around her.  
This was more difficult than expected!  
The Tardises hum was still soothing to her but she was unsure of what to do now to be honest.  
How to be.  
She had tried forever to get back home and now she was here ...well now what was she supposed to do?  
How was she supposed to feel about this?  
It was great to be home of course and she still couldn't believe it had actually happened after all these years apart...but this wasn't like before.  
She wasn't sitting in the kitchen flipping pancakes with her parents giggling at her father pinching strawberries from her mother's plate like the last time she had sat here.  
This was familiar, upsetting, yet new and positive, but she was unsure about it...and she really didn't like being unsure about things!  
Plus there was that intense increasing feeling she would get around the Doctor.  
She had felt it yesterday again as he tended to her…The overwhelming need to be closer to him.  
Shed never needed anyone before...yes she was attracted to the man, she always had been...and silently cursed her mother for never telling her he was hot.  
But she didn't expect to feel so...well...kind of addicted to him and it was clearly getting worse with each passing day.  
When she had woke up this morning after chatting to the Tardis about the past...all she wanted to do was find him.  
It was bloody well difficult to take herself for a shower beforehand Truth be told…  
God she was going insane lately...this was so out of character... to need somebody like this!  
Perhaps it was being cooped up all the time….she needed an outlet of sorts...  
Finally, she broke through her brooding to speak up because she had to, didn't she...They were both staring at her with the same worried expression.  
And god they were cute.

“It's nice, thank you...I’m sorry about snapping before...im still a bit of a mess upstairs i guess!”

The Doctor reached across touching her hand that was resting on the table.  
The contact sent a shiver through her body at the gesture.

“Hey it's ok, it's understandable...You've been through allot and when you're ready we'll work on building up your mental shields ok...I’ll show you how, it's really quite easy once you get the hang of it and you'll feel so much better afterward...clear-headed and focussed”

“Ok”

The Doctor cleared his throat a little and rubbed his neck.

“I err… I would also like to do a full-body scan and blood work if that's ok...Just ya know in case any medical issues arise,...i just need to know ...well if…i suppose if...”

She sighed heavily…

“It's fine... do it after breakfast if you must to get it out of your system...I know you're dying to see what I'm made of...I have two breasts by the way and a vagina... Do you need me to show you?... Oh wait, I forgot, you lifted me naked into a bath with Jack the other night, caught you looking... but perhaps you'd like another check over and to take measurements, yeah?”

Jack laughed loudly, almost dribbling his juice on his sausage…

The Doctor's eyes blew wide as his knee started to bounce uncontrollably... He stuttered.  
She discreetly nudged Jack with her elbow playfully...both of them intently watching the Doctors reaction with joint amusement.

“Errr..no..um...i know...i know you...d...do...no um...not necessary...that's...i see that already...your...your breasts are there in front of me… not naked...no i don't need that...that's fine...their nice...nice size..i saw them...very nice...that's ...nor...normal i think....”

She burst out laughing as did Jack...partners in crime these two...Her humanness was just like Jacks in that respect.  
Were all humans like this?.. So, well...unreserved?  
And The Doctor being full Gallifreyan was slow to pick up on their jesting...However, he was determined to learn...perhaps one day he could have payback?  
HA... that would show them. 

“I hate you two, that's..your mean...!”

They just laughed more and inevitably he couldn't help but join in.  
Their laughing was contagious after all…. Yes...he’d forgotten just how much he’d loved humans, or more to the point...how much he loved to laugh!

Half an hour later and River was sitting in the Med bay for the Doctor to do his necessary check over. Or Dissection whatever he required.

“Just lie back for me..”

River did as instructed but just couldn't help herself...

“Bet you say that to all the boys and girls?”

The doctor sighed whilst pulling down the scanner over her frame…

“I may have to prescribe that you keep your distance away from Harkness...He’s clearly having an effect on your mouth Miss Song!”

“As i recall you liked the feel of my mouth on your neck...Said it was `Thrilling` if i remember correctly...”

“Hmmm”

She giggled, as he switched on the scanner trying to hide the tinge of redness on his face behind it.

“Stay still while it's finished”

“K”

The machine beeped and he came back over with a small device in his hand.

“There, that bits done now...so just sit up for me and give me your arm”

“Oh Yes Doctor”

He shook his head but smiled at how sarcastic she sounded as she held out her arm to him.  
He rolled up her sleeve a bit.

“Now this won't hurt a bit ok?”

“OWWW FUCK!! “

She looked angry and sexy. He liked the combination!

“Sorry i lied!”

“You bastard!”

“Thank you...Now let's see what we have here then shall we?.”

She hopped down off the bed and went over to look at the screen with him as he added her blood to a small port on the computer.  
Her x-ray popped up with all kinds of data that she honestly didn't understand in the slightest.

“Hmmm…oh, that's interesting….wow that's lit up like a Christmas tree.....Oh...that's a bit…wait what?... That can't be right…. Did you do that?...how?...... WHAT??? OH...You stupid meddling machine?…... you did didn't you…...OH *********.......************....************* “

When he started to speak/curse?... In words she couldn't understand, probably old-time Gallifreyan she hadn't had a chance to learn yet.  
She was looking between the Doctor's expression and the results with increasing concern.  
The Tardis groaned rather loudly.  
It was entirely obvious she was speaking to the Doctor but her chatter was kept private for his ears only.  
That couldn't be good, could it?  
She was even more perturbed when he arrived back to an understandable tongue...Did he even realize the switch?

“…..ArGH...OHHH DONT GIVE ME THAT...YOU DID THIS ON PURPOSE DIDN'T YOU? ...I WAS FINE ON MY OWN…...NO…..SHUT UP………..YOU WERE ALWAYS TROUBLE AND NEVER TOOK ME WHERE I WANTED TO GO………DO YOU EVER SHUT UP?……”

“What is it?...is something wrong with me?….is it bad?”

It was like she wasn't even there as he paced passed her dramatically running a hand through his hair, tugging it forcefully, his body all angry and charged like a rhino on a rampage.…. Slamming his hands down onto the unit he swiped a few medical tools onto the floor through the uncontained frustration surging inside him.  
She'd never seen him act out like this before...what on earth did the Tardis do to cause this reaction?  
He continued his heated rant with the Tardis…River was merely a fly on the wall now by all accounts.

“.....IT STILL GAVE YOU NO RIGHT TO DO IT, YOU INFURIATING MEDALING MACHINE…….I DON'T CARE…….WELL, THAT WAS NO REASON TO…...NO….NO I WASN'T…... YOUR A BLOODY BLUE BOX, SINCE WHEN DO YOU PLAY GOD WITH MY LIFE, YOUR NOT MY MOTHER!....... YOUR NOT SUPPOSED TO INTERFERE THERE ARE RULES, DIDNT YOU READ HOW TO BE A RESPECTABLE TARDIS FOR DUMMIES!….. OH COME OFF IT LIKE YOU WOULD EVER UNDERSTAND HOW I WAS ACTUALLY FEELING……... NO……..NO YOU CAN'T FORCE ME TO….NO….. NO I DONT SHES TOO HUMAN, IT WOULDN'T WORK OUT…., I WOULD NEVER SO THERE!……....NO….NO SHE DOESN'T AND EVEN IF SHE DID ITS NOT REAL BECAUSE YOU FORCED IT UPON US….NO…...NO I REFUSE………….. NOT HAPPENING…..STOP RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I'M NOT LISTENING TO YOU ANYMORE, YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH THANK YOU VERY MUCH…..OHHH…. `HA` AS IF I WOULD...….. NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY…..NO... JACK CAN HAVE HER, SHE'S BEEN IN HIS BED FOR COMFORT, SHE CHOOSE HIM FIRST SO YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT THAT!….YES HE CAN…... HE WILL….YES SHE WILL, SHE'S MORE HUMAN THAT WAY…I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER WORD ABOUT IT IT'S OVER...I CAN FIX IT…I ALREADY KNOW WHAT TO DO….WELL FINE….HA... YEAH, DAMN RIGHT WE’LL SEE!!!”

The doctor was smiling now satisfied that he had won that conversation...the Tardis wouldn't be telling him what to do in the future, no sir…. He spun around practically nodding to himself thrilled with his cleverness only to come face to face with a fiery-eyed goddess all blazing and fuming.  
He was sure there were sparks coming off her...yes yes there were. Shit  
Oh… it was only then that he realized that he wasn't alone with the Tardis...This was something Amy used to slap him for when he used to have deep conversations with his sexy over quantum mechanics or human knitting…Said he went off on one and was ignoring her question... Major mistake...like mother like daughter.  
You do not ignore a pond!  
She stepped up to him and he swallowed….heavily. 

“I don't know what the hell you were blabbering about Doctor but I’m pretty sure it was about me. And the fact that you just said that Jack can have her like I'm some sort of disposable toy you can dispose of on a whim, doesn't sit well with me...You don't do that to your friends….I've not had many, if any... but i know that much at least...”

She turned to leave but the Doctor was quick to halt her…

“River please Wait…let me explain this...what the Tardis has done...”

She wasted no time in spinning around to slap his cheek with emotional force. It Stung.

“Keep away from me yeah i don't give a damn, because from what you just said...that's already your plan isn't it? Handing me off to Jack while you keep your distance or something. I've felt it too ya know….i’m sure you know what I'm talking about so don't give me that look...but you don't think that I’m unnerved by it?... Well, i am...but screw it if that's what you want...run away...run and hide like you always do see if i care!”

The Doctor looked solemn and sighed in defeat...she was right of course..that was his plan.  
The Tardis had made River...For him...she had used the doctor's very own biological code and formulated her own...a perfect match during conception. Bound by blood...perfectly for him...he could see it immediately from the results of her screening, every piece of her connected to him...made to fit only to him.  
This was why he had always felt strange around River...he was becoming bound to her and he had to pull away before they unwillingly become bonded….  
So yes... she was right, he was going to defy the Tardis and the biological science of his own beating hearts...to pull away from her.  
Stay as far away from her as he could. 

She spoke so silently now and he could hardly breathe from the look of pain on her face

.“I wish i never met you!”  
She fled. 

The Tardis hummed her disapproval…(she will suffer without you and you without her!)

He spat…”AND WHOS FAULT IS THAT?”

...she was silent...

Closing his eyes he looked down attempting to rid his mind from the painful image of the hurt on River's face.  
He sighed heavily ...trying to console himself...rubbishy.

“shell get over it!”

(...but she will always feel empty...like something is missing, as will you, my lonely thief...)

(we've always felt empty….Why change something that is so utterly normal to us?......Ohhh, you don't understand...This is just how it's supposed to be Sexy. It wasn't your place to change that...it's better to feel empty at the end of the day because then you have nothing valuable to lose don't you see?)

She remained silent…. and for a few days... so did he!


	12. Bad Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> River's a bit of a loose cannon in this chapter ...enjoy x
> 
> Love feedback good or bad.

The Doctor was tinkering quietly under the console doing some desperately required maintenance along with some infuriating brooding as the sparks flew from her cables just like it was doing with his frustrations, when Jack bobbed his head underneath.

“You seen Riv?”

The Doctor sighed heavily as he cut through something he really shouldn't have unintentionally zapping himself in the process.

“Argh chuffing Daleks…. I...no, um sorry…. I thought she was hanging with you”.

“No...not seen her since yesterday Doc!”

“Hmm, Did you try the library? She left me a note on the door with an allocated time slot of when I was and wasn't allowed to enter it…”

“No, i tried there first...Anyway, what the hell have you done that's got you both avoiding each other like the plague because i just have to say….I'm extremely uncomfortable with it and its bloody annoying that i can't get us all together to play naked twister tonight as I'd planned!”

The Doctor threw his tool down and cursed...picking up another one to try instead. Speaking with a slight sarcasm to his tone.

“It's complicated...she’ll confide in you soon enough I’m sure!”

“You're a bastard!”

“Oh don't you start!”

Just when Jack was about to respond with even more distaste about the Doctor's inexcusable behavior. River ran through the main doors slamming them behind her as she leaned heavily up against them in order to catch her breath.   
Jack and the Doctor were quick to come up top to see what had happened to her and surprised to see her looking like some kind of feminine Indiana Jones in a tan action dress with boots. Accessorizing a belt shamelessly around her waist containing what looked to be a lethal weapon in the holster.   
She was dirty and scratched along with her breathlessness.   
It was only after a few beats of her hearts that she noticed the two guys staring at her with their mouths open wide catching flies.  
She smirked at the two...placing her hands on her hips as she prowled towards them all sexy and deadly.

“Shut em up boys...or I’ll shove something in em!”...

Jack spoke first, sounding concerned by her newly developed action-ready and rather `hot` appearance.

”Riv...What happened?”

“Oh, nothing much...just a bit of fun...needed a breath of fresh air...!”.

Jack spoke again but this time to question The Doctor who he noticed had adjusted his gobsmacked features from concerned to angry in the split of a second!

“When did you move the Tardis Doc?... You didn't say we were moving...I never heard the Tardis land….did you take us somewhere?”

The Doctor continued to stare at River...whose expression back at him was nothing but smug with a silent `Ha`...and a rather large ... `SCREW YOU!!`

“No, no I didn't land us…. She did!!!….So what did you do to her settings? Did you disable the materialization sound, so you could sneak out on us like a thief in the night?”

“Ouch...That hurts...Like i ever needed permission to fly our ship from you Doctor...Perhaps i just flew her correctly and didn't leave the breaks on like you always do. Ever think about that?….”

Jack raised his eyebrows so high they nearly flew off his face…”WOAHHHH…. Now that was a kick to the balls if ever i saw one...is that true? Do you leave the breaks on Doc?”

The Doctor stepped forwards to River eying her torn clothes and bodily scrapes somewhat suspiciously. While trying to ignore the more than irritating fact that she’d flown his ship without his consent.  
He was the pilot of this vessel. He was the Capitano...Wasn't he?

“Shut up Jack…..”

River continued to look into him...Not at him, No...but into him!

“Bit close to me aren't you…?”

He chose to ignore the sarcastic comment at the moment...needing more clarification of what the hell she thought she was doing and why would she possibly think it was ok to do it!   
He tried to speak as calm as he could with his insides screaming blue murder.

“What happened?”

She shrugged her shoulders unconcerned by his fatherly demand, as if she were a teenager that snuck out while he slept, with fake ID to buy booze and hang with boys smoking fags.

“As i said...nothing much...Just a few Sontarans chased me halfway across the Galaxy that's all...I probably shouldn't have asked them if they were on a hen night…..”

She stepped past him walking away with yet another smirk of smugness.   
Oh the nerve of this woman.  
He spun around on the spot attempting to hold himself together in her presence, he was clearly beginning to crack as he bit out his words..

“River you can't do things like that…!!”

She turned back to face him slightly infuriated that she had burned off all that anger she had harbored only to have it return the very second she came back to his presence once again.

“OR WHAT?…. You already had me entrapped as a slave for a few weeks, then gave me ten lashes for stealing and running before handing me off to Jack so we could become fuck buddies in your warped little assumption of the future. Before shunning and ignoring me completely….What else are you gonna do ?...spank me”

Jack was quick to pace up to the Doctor to shove him roughly back by a shoulder…

”You thought i wanted to fuck Riv...is that what you said?.....

Jack, I didn't say it like that…she's twisting my words”

“Hey, Look just because i flirt with everything that moves doesn't mean I'm a whore you know. I love everyone, I can't help it...it's a 51st-century biological response and my pheromones unleash like fireflies the more I fancy someone. But have I ever fucked you… No….No i haven't and i wouldn't….I love you and i love Riv too, but I'm in love with Ianto.   
You may not think of me capable of monogamy but I am...Ianto has taught me a lot in the short times we get to spend together. He’s from the twentieth century and is strictly a one lover kinda guy, no matter how much I tried to convince him of the benefits of having multiple partners. But I accept and respect that of him. So I would never do anything to hurt him Doc. I have more self-control than you think... So don't you ever think you can just pimp me off like that again. Rivs like a sexy ass sister to me... I would never...argh!...” 

Jack turned on his heels to give River a much-needed hug before storming off down the corridors slamming the door to his bedroom.  
River raised her eyebrows before turning to follow suit…

“Where'd you get the weapon?...It's an Alpha Meson Blaster by the looks of it and.those things aren't cheap...I don't like guns on the Tardis you know!”

She practically laughed at him…pulling it out of her holster teasing it with her fingers like she was blatantly considering using him for target practice.

“Nice isn't it...I didn't steal it off a dead guy if that's what you're thinking...Not that i wouldn't! But maybe I made an exchange for it.”

“Oh?...Well...what on earth could you possibly have to exchange for an Alpha Melson weapon?”

He knew she had nothing of course...slaves never did come with a bag of belongings. Perhaps he shouldn't have said that...

She smiled placing the weapon back in her holster after a quick spin on her fingers with disturbing professionalism that unbalanced him further.   
Had she used a weapon like this before?

“Ha...Nothing you’d be interested in, don't worry!”

“RIVER….TELL ME...WHAT DID YOU EXCHANGE FOR IT?”

She came close enough to whisper into his ear quite sadistically as a matter of fact…

”Only an hour of my time Doctor...And he loved every second of it!”

She smiled like a psychopath as she walked away before disappearing from sight.  
The Doctor didn't move for a while...he couldn't.   
He was absolutely shocked through to the core with a sickness that threatened to floor him stone cold.  
He ran hands down his face in despair and desperation and feelings of failure, not only to River and himself but failure to Amy too.   
Then an even worse feeling hit him if that was even possible...The fact that somebody else had touched his River...His beautiful, warm, soft-skinned River...in that physical human way ...His River?….HIS RIVER!!!   
Oh God, he felt ill….She was his, belonged with him...She was meant for him and nobody else was allowed to give her what he couldn't or wouldn't?. And the fact that he had to hold on to the railing to stay upright was highly disturbing that he was affected so much by this little insight.   
What was he thinking?   
That his feelings for her would simply disappear like leaves in the wind once he had discovered her ...That he could just turn his back and play ignorance, expecting her to do the same around him?

This was not how this was supposed to be going.   
River wasn't doing what he thought she should be doing.   
And why on Gallifrey was he even surprised by that?  
He thought that after her first initial sulking in the bedroom for a few hours that she would perhaps entertain a few laps in the pool.   
Go to the gym with Jack to moan about him and Beat up a few boxing bags with his face on.   
Make cookies and cakes.   
Get drunk with a movie eating comfort food such as chocolates. Amy had said human girls did that sometimes. Even Jack did that.  
Spend time in the library...Ok she did do that and for hours at a time..`what was she even doing in there?`....but that's all she did that was expected of her.   
Gods, what had he done to her? This wasn't good.   
River was disturbingly unhinged and there was no telling of what she was going to do next and that scared the hell out of him.

The next few days passed uneventfully as the Doctor spent most of it in the console room to make sure River wasn't flying them anywhere she shouldn't have been for another little private adventure all on her own.   
It was either stand guard by the entrance or get a padlock for her bedroom and he did spend a humongous amount of time dwelling on the padlock idea.   
The Tardis was becoming agitated with the Doctor's mood and unwanted maintenance and kept zapping him whenever she could. His hair was so electrically charged he could in all likelihood stick a lightbulb on top and it would probably work.  
Jack had only ignored him for a day as he soon got over it showering him with kisses when the Doctor had made a quick grab and run for Ianto who was halfway into his delivery down main street with some groceries for The Rani.   
After a quick zap of his collar to remove it.   
He yanked Ianto quickly over to the blue box…He was being so Welsh...

”I can’t Sir... I’ll get into trouble if I’m late….Wait...that looks like a kissing booth, I'm not going in there with you, are you mad ? Jack won't like you hitting on me Theta and I’ll tell him you know…. I will...i swear i will...Heyyyy `cachu`...!“

There was a little scuffle to get him inside said booth but when Ianto was finally dragged through the doors to see Jack running towards him.   
All was forgiven.   
The Doctor sighed relief.

He was just tightening a bolt when he felt a nudge in his mind, he shook his head thinking nothing of it at first, before feeling it again.   
Putting down the tool in his hand he focused on the pressure building inside his head.   
It strangely got stronger. (what is that?..is something trying to communicate with me?)  
Suddenly there was a sharp slice of pain rip through his head like a brain freeze before disappearing entirely as quickly as it came.   
His hands clutched his head as the Tardis called out in distress.

(`THE LIBRARY THIEF….THE CHILD`)

The Doctor was quick to understand...

“River”

He darted through the console room then through the corridors down to the library. Bursting in through the doors immediately spotting River laying out on the floor surrounded by open books.  
He raced to her. Kneeling as he laid a hand on her shoulder.   
She moaned a bit.

“River ...River wake up...can you hear me River?”

His eyes did a quick scan of the books that surrounded her.   
They were all teaching material for Gallifreyan telepathic abilities. Fuck she was attempting to reach him that's why he had felt the nudges, but she had obviously overloaded herself.   
This was something that needed mind stamina and a precise level of focus that she hadn't built up to hold mentally yet. And River being River had probably dived straight into the hardcore stuff, like she was bloody invincible or something.  
He caressed her cheek as she came back around from her blackout until her eyes fluttered open.  
She frowned as he gazed down looking concerned from above.

“What time is it?”

He laughed...slightly hysterical through his relief because this really could have ended up a lot worse than it did and quite honestly, she looked pretty damn cute when confused.  
She sat up looking around her before staring at him again. 

“What happened...did i...oh wait ...i think it worked”

She giggled as she spoke …

”It worked didn't it? I attempted to locate your whereabouts...you were in the console room yes?”

The Doctor sighed, scratching his head a little...

“River... I’m in the console room 95% of the time. You don't need to be telepathic to know that.”

“But i felt you were there, I’m sure i did...I’ll try Jack next…”

“NO...No you will not!”

He slammed a few books closed to make his point. 

“But it worked... i can do it!”

“You hurt me River and then you flooded yourself and bloody passed out. You could have put yourself in a coma for crying out loud...So No…No Siree...You're not doing any of that. It's not something that you can self teach, it's dangerous!”

“I hurt you...how?...Are you ok...i didn't mean to…i’m...”

“I’m fine...was just a shortwave telepathic snap that's all….but this isn't something that you can just fool around with River. The mind is a dangerous thing...You can endanger not only your wellbeing but the wellbeing of others too. It's not a game and it shouldn't be taken lightly!”

She stood up angry again...She was angry with him alot lately it appeared.

“I wasn't playing around Doctor. I really wanted to learn how to do this stuff because it's bloody well important to me and because it's who my mother was. You said you would teach me….But how can you be expected to do that when you can't even force yourself to be in the same room as me...Damn it i hate you sometimes….I’m sorry about your goddamn head OK...“

She stormed out of there...slamming the doors because he obviously didn't think she was really that mad!  
The Doctor sighed as he piled up the books, taking each of them to their designated spots in the library.  
She was right of course... he had promised to teach her everything Gallifreyan and he still planned to do it... he did...really...Just... just not quite yet.   
Right now he needed the space to focus on attempting to get over these intense feelings surrounding River…. He just needed a little more time away to build up his barriers against her...that's all.  
That's all this was. Just a temporary distancing thing.  
Then he could control himself around her.   
Maybe…  
Perhaps…  
Oh cybermen... who was he kidding!

The final straw came however when River went missing from the Tardis again two days later.

“OH HELL NOT AGAIN...JACK...JACK SHES BUGGERED OFF AGAIN….I CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS WITH HER...WHERE THE BLOODY HELL HAS SHE PARKED US ANYWAY? THAT INFURIATING WOMAN IS DRIVING ME INSANE...I’M AT MY WITS END WITH HER JACK! SO HELP ME ALL THE GODS IN THE UNIVERSE...SHE JUST DOESN'T HAVE ANY RESTRAINT WHATSOEVER. I'M GOING TO LOCK HER UP IN THE VOLT I TELL YOU….DONT THINK I WON'T BECAUSE I WILL!! JACK? JACK? DO WE HAVE A VOLT JACK? ..SHE….OHHH WAIT SHE HASN'T….OH NO...NO, NO, NO, NO...WHAT THE HELL….NOT GOOD NOT GOOD…!”

Jack and Ianto ran through into the console room together looking a little disheveled to say the least. 

“what's all the yelling about? What's happened to Riv? Where is she Doc?”

The Doctor was whizzing around the console pressing leavers like a mad man possessed after a hundred and seventy-two hours no sleep and fifty-seven barrels of hardcore coffee.. 

“GALLIFREY...SHE'S BLOODY PROGRAMMED THE TARDIS TO DROP HER OFF NEAR THE CITADEL OF ALL PLACES. THEN IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH, SHE HAS ADJUSTED HER SETTINGS TO RETREAT MODE PARKING US UP HERE IN THE ATMOSPHERE LIKE A HANGING DUCK!   
HOW DID SHE EVEN DO THAT ANYWAY AND WHY THE HELL DID YOU LISTEN TO HER SEXY?... YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME AND ALL I ASK FOR IS NORMAL SENSIBLE THINGS LIKE JAMMY DODGERS AND HELTA SKELTAS FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! ”

Jack looked shocked…”SEXY?...WHAT...WHY ON EARTH WOULD SHE WANT TO GO BACK THERE?”

The doctor swung around the monitor to try and locate the precise drop off zone to go back.

“BECAUSE SHE’S RIVER BLOODY SONG JACK... THAT'S WHY!”

Just when the Doctor was about to have another major rant, or perhaps burst an aneurysm there was a message pop up on the scanner…

HELLO SWEETIE..7775/349/10-012/ACORN...Oh and open up the doors for the swimming pool! X x 

Ianto stepped forwards pointing to the numbers…

“What's that?”

The Doctor pulled a few leavers, 

“Coordinates”

Jack laughed, 

“Looks like our girl called for a Taxi”

“Jack, open the doors to the swimming pool and hurry about it.”

The Tardis shook into motion and dematerialized from the atmosphere to park weirdly on its side halfway up the outside of the Citadel.  
The doors flew open in the console room as River dived straight through past them down the corridors just as Jack opened the doors for the swimming pool.   
Cutting it close wasn't a word they could use to describe it..  
The Doctor was quick to get them back into the vortex once again, then marched straight through ready to blow just as Ianto and Jack were pulling River up out of the pool.   
She was annoyingly unphased, excitable, riddled with energy and high on adrenaline it appeared.

“Thanks, Wow that really worked perfectly...Gotta do that one again for sure...i could make it a thing!!”

Jack wasn't impressed in the slightest which was a complete relief to the Doctor because he really didn't want to be the only killjoy in the room...Again...and River's behavior was seriously getting out of control now.   
She could have killed herself and that was no laughing matter for any of them.  
Jack went for the soft approach though and that was rather irritating to the Doctor putting it mildly, because all he wanted to do was grab hold of her shoulders and shake some sense into her vigorously whilst shouting out a perfectly suitable and prolonged bollocking before pushing her back into the pool for good measure!.   
But Jack...no...

“Riv...sweetheart ...You need to stop this right now... Attempting to wind up the Doctor is all very well and good, but really hun, you’ve taken this way too far. And why on Earth were you even at the Citadel anyway for dressed up like a Ninja, what's that about...i mean its sexy but...come on it's a bit crazy hun...”

River looked down over herself bemused, she was soaked through to the core…

“Ninja?...I thought i looked a little more Black Widow Spy type of gal”

She shrugged before pulling off her backpack, as the boys watched on curiously.   
She opened it proudly taking out Jack's WW2 Jacket and his Webley revolver pistol, which she handed over to a dumbfounded Jack before taking his vortex manipulator off of her wrist to hand over to him.   
He looked clearly bewildered by the items in his arms. 

“I think it's disabled to travel, couldn't get the damned thing to jump me back to the Tardis as originally planned. Managed to get it to relay the coordinates back to her at least...Nice bit of kit that Jack….might get one for myself at some point!”

She then beamed joyously throwing her arms up to the air in celebration...

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” 

All the men were quiet.   
There could have been the sound of crickets echoing through the Tardis at this point.  
Jack was just staring at her gobsmacked, while Ianto was chewing his nails to the quick nervously and the Doctor was pacing back and forth in the background like a nutter with his fists clenched to stone. An oncoming storm inevitable!

Jack cleared his throat a little…

“Riv...um Doll, it's not my birthday!”

She laughed..

“But it will be one day!”

Ianto scoffed, holding back his own amusement at Rivers' wild girl attitude.   
She was entertaining if anything. He liked her.  
Jack sighed looking down over his things...Items he had missed and craved so much now back in his possession.   
Even the smell of his much-loved Jacket was comforting to him, filled with memories both good and bad...but personal and precious all the same.

“Thak you Riv...Honestly thank you...but this wasn't a risk worth taking for me sweethearts, it was stupid to go there. What if something had happened to you ay?”

“It was easier than you think Jack. I had a feeling they'd be keeping this stuff in the archives and I only got chased by a few Red cloaks, but this time I was a little more prepared. She pulled out her blaster…”

Looking over to the Doctor who was still fuming and pacing in the background..

“Koschei says hi by the way….Oh and he may have regenerated into a woman actually. Honestly, my trigger finger slipped...oops..”

Jack ran a hand through his hair before tapping her shoulder gently.

“ Riv...you're making things difficult for him...look….Me and Ianto are going to start dinner because from the looks of it i think the Doc needs a private word with you.”

Jack walked over to the Doctor who was now just standing staring at River with his mouth open after she'd mentioned shooting Kochie so easily like water off a duck's back..   
Jack placed a warm hand on his shoulder giving a slight squeeze. 

“Id say go easy on her Doc...but i think after this little stunt she wants nothing but a reaction from you!”

The Doctor managed to turn his head to face Jack

“Yeah? Well she's sure gonna get one!”

As soon as Jack and Ianto left, River attempted to walk past too, before the Doctor grabbed her arm, perhaps a little too forcefully than he should have. 

“The Top of the Citadel River?..... You dived from the top of the bloody Citadel….”

She yanked her arm back, slightly frustrated that everyone seemed rather annoyed with her. She expected it from the doctor # Mr Grumpy face, but Jack didn't look too happy with her either. 

“Well yes...but that wasn't my first intention. I was supposed to teleport back when I found Jack's Vortex...How was i supposed to know it was broken. They'd already sounded the alarms so i couldn't very well have walked out the front doors now could i? The roof was the only option and it worked, so what's your problem….?”

“YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE!”

Oh he was going to shout at her now?.... Yeah, well she could shout too if that's how he wanted it...

“THIS ISN'T A PRISON YA KNOW AND YOUR NOT MY MASTER ANYMORE...I’M FREE...I CAN DO WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT”

“DO WHAT YOU WANT YES... BUT BE SMART ABOUT IT AT LEAST...THAT WAS NOTHING BUT A SUICIDE MISSION...IT WAS STUPID, IRRESPONSIBLE ...AND FOR WHAT….AN OLD COAT AND A COUPLE OF TRINKETS.”

“I WAS SMART, I MADE IT BACK DIDN'T I? AND THAT STUFF MAY NOT BE IMPORTANT TO YOU DOCTOR, BUT IT'S IMPORTANT TO JACK. IT BELONGS TO HIM AND THEY STOLE IT FROM HIM, SO I STOLE IT RIGHT BACK.”

“AND KOSCHEI?”

She shrugged a little...

“Yeah i killed the bastard so what...It was a great opportunity and i took it. You know what he did. He deserves to die and I would have killed him again too if the guards hadn't shown up. I'll go back to finish the job ...”

The Doctor took her roughly by the shoulders, attempting to shake some sort of sense into her.

“YOU WILL NOT...Is that what you're going to be now River... a Murderer?... Spending your days on a killing spree to all those who would do you or anyone else wrong?...How does that make you any better than they are?... Than he is? Do you honestly think that's what your parents would have wanted for you...reckless revenge...because I don't think they would approve or be very proud of what you're doing now. Tell me I’m wrong River...go on tell me?”

She attempted to say something in retaliation but she had nothing left to offer. Her parents wouldn't want her to behave that way, he was right...but even that fact didn't make it any less required or sought after in her head.   
She looked down defeatedly...

“You don't understand...you'll never understand!”

He lifted her chin a little..He could feel her sorrow, her pain and confusion….

“Then tell me River...please, just tell me. Help me to understand this...understand you...”

There was a pause of intense silence between them as River considered his words before speaking...

“I survived on my own Doctor. No money, no home, no friends. Nobody to guide or encourage me, to show me the right way.   
So yes... I stole money and food and weapons.   
I deceived people, got rather clever at it. Lied through my teeth to get what I wanted. Became a first-class manipulator and learned how to fight on the lower streets of London.  
Then one fine rainy day someone took a knife to my throat from behind, killed me out straight for the gun in my coat. Must have seen me threaten someone with it and followed me to claim it. I never used it though...it was a scare tactic that's all i wanted it for. “

The Doctor flinched at the revelation, but kept silent even through his distress…

“I regenerated of course but knew better after that...it was to kill or be killed sometimes. That's just how it was. It's how I survived…  
The Earth has become a battleground for survival now Doctor. People are panicked and scared... families hide in their cellars afraid of pickup from slave ships coming to tear them apart. I've heard they don't just deliver us to Gallifrey you know...apparently using humans for slaves is catching on among the stars and the Citadel are reaping in the benefits.  
But I had no other choice to live how I did and it's become so ingrained in me that it's hard to let go and forget that I don't have to be that way anymore.   
There was nobody to show me a different path if i wanted to live long enough to get back to the Tardis…. The only thing that existed alive in this bloody hellhole of a universe that actually meant something to me was this bloody blue box. My Nana.  
I waited for years Doctor, trailing myself halfway across the country and beyond searching, sometimes barefoot and bloodied, or starving through winter just waiting for a slave pick up ship to come claim me...I shouted to the heavens,`come take me... I'm right here, please see me`... They don't have a timetable or schedule you know. They just appear from anywhere at any time to do a quick raid leaving a trail of destruction and tears of children behind.   
After a number of years searching eventually I found one though. Walked straight up to them willingly and handed myself over to the collar because I knew they would take me to Gallifrey, well hopefully.  
It was the first stepping stone to getting her back or to finding The Doctor it was a relief if anything to leave Earth's prolonged agonizing destruction behind…. but let me tell you Doctor, there are a lot of evil fucked up Masters out there that I had to put up with and that's all I've learned about my Gallifreyan heritage so far... that their all cruel bastards!.  
And where were you Doctor...where... were... you, when i needed you?... Hiding safe in your home like a coward that's where…  
And where are you now Doctor? Still Hiding...yes? And I'm back on my own with nothing but bad memories and nightmares that won't let me rest even for a second.   
So what am i supposed to do now Doctor...please tell me...what should i be doing because you won't let me read those books when i wanted to learn something about myself, about who i am or what i could be...So tell me because honestly..i don't know anything anymore and it scares the shit out of me…”

Tears were streaming down her face as his hearts beat frantically in his chest attempting to hold together and not crumble to dust in front of her.   
She was suffering still and he had been nothing but a coward...he had promised she would never be alone again but he had abandoned her in the worst possible way.   
Near but yet so far away.   
He'd been so selfish.   
Whether what the Tardis had done was wrong or right, it wasn't her doing...it wasn't his either and why was it so bad anyway...what was he scared of...why should Love be scary.   
Even if it was a messed up creation from his Sexy, of pronounce perfectly formed chemicals that identified with and gravitated towards each other with extreme irresistible need.   
Wasn't that always the case anyway where two can become one?   
She was a gift.   
How could he possibly throw away the only good thing he ever had so easily, in a world full of immeasurable hate. Why not drown it with love?  
He wanted to heal her. To make her feel better….to reel her back into his soul, his very being because seriously... he'd missed her there.   
She belonged there with him.  
It was a spontaneous reaction, a sudden surge of immense love that enveloped him so suddenly.   
She was powerful and brave and beautiful, but lost... he could help with that.   
He could no longer stand back like the idiot he’d been, to see her suffer...his shields fell in the blast of his own desperate yearning and the ground beneath him thru him forwards to claim her lips with a heated passion that shocked even him.   
She froze upon impact unexpecting and stunned, but within seconds she yielded, melting within his embrace as his arms wrapped around her protectively.   
She had needed this, needed him to touch her so much it had hurt.  
She was warm and soft and tasted like sweet sugar and fresh waterfalls from the mountains.   
His tongue tested a little before being brave enough to explore further into her exceptional mouth.  
She accepted him unquestionably and his pace of nervous physical uncertainty as she ran fingers through his hair, not only as an offering of encouragement but something she had always secretly longed to do. And yes, just as she imagined it would, it did feel like silk.  
He moaned into her at the feel of her gentle caress and the tingles that rippled frantically down his spine….running around heatedly to his groin it appeared.   
The scientist in him took note of it all cataloging every detail for future evaluation.   
There was a strange sort of twitch from his manhood that made him pull away gasping for air at the overwhelming intensity of it all.   
Placing his forehead upon hers as they both fought to regain air to their lungs.   
She spoke, still breathless…

“Wow...i...i didn't expect you to do that!”

He chuckled a little, still high as a kite and flying on air with all the pheromones she was emitting like clouds of erotic energy that levitated him into a heaven he knew not where.

“Me neither...was it.. is that the right way...did i...?”

She giggled pulling her forehead back away to look at him directly.

“Top marks on the kissing Doctor, no need to worry”

Her skin was turning unusually chilled then he suddenly remembered where they were and took note of her sodden black outfit

“You really need to get changed River...your clothes from the pool...you're trembling .”

She smiled lovingly at his obvious concern...

“You're trembling too Doctor and you didn't even go for a swim” She winked

He flushed a little, as she gave him a River song smirk that always seemed to make his hearts jump that extra mile in his chest.

“Point taken, it's probably the air con...i think i have air con...um...anyway come on...go take a hot shower then come join me in the library. We have things to discuss and a lesson of telepathy learn don't we? Perhaps some basic Gallifreyan history...”

She beamed excitedly in an instant.   
His River was happy again and swiftly he realized that's all he ever wanted her to be.  
Oh yes.. he was done for now he knew that much for certain. There was no going back from that kiss, from that smile...from those astounding eyes that contained more galaxies and adventures than he had ever dreamed possible.   
It all started now ...The Doctor and River Song!

“Really, you'll teach me that stuff.”

Taking her by the hand he tugged her along...

“Yes of course i will...but no backchat and no innuendos or butt pinching in school time. Those are the rules!”

“What about snogging on breaks... is that forbidden too?”

God, he could still taste her.   
He didn't need reminding of the fact he could still feel the warmth of her lips against his.   
The twirl of her tongue, playful and sweet.   
He was magnificently holding on by a thread already…  
Keep it together Doctor.   
Be Cool.  
Bowties are cool...   
Everything... is... cool!  
He cleared his throat a little.

“Erm snogging? Oh yes Kiss kissy thing...well yes kissing is...yes...well i suppose that's ok of course I guess if you want to...i mean...i will allow that... But nothing else...I mean it...strictly absolutely nothing else... I don't do that...erm, stuff!”

She said nothing but smirked almost deviously and he practically tripped over his own feet by the look of suggestion on her face.


	13. Free-Will

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wanted this version of the Doctor to have a severe lack of understanding about human relationships. He is from another planet after all and i don't want him to be just human in how he goes about things... I may even add something else later about Gallifreyan sex when it once did exist or something about his anatomy that could be different...not sure yet...but i would think beings from a different world would be different in some ways...its an open book. Just didn't want you to think this Doctor was thick or something LOL 
> 
> Let me know what you think...good or bad. x

Four days later and River’s lessons in the library had been going well.  
The Doctor had started from scratch with the mind training to give River a good solid foundation from which to build on. She should have been taught the basic meditation and open mind techniques at around 13 or 14 then progressed from there into compartmentalization of good and bad thoughts. Problems that she could work on now and problems that could be put aside for a later date. How to sense the presence of someone nearby but couldn't see, how to communicate through the mind to others and the rules about invading people's privacy. The list was long in this field and they had much to work on. Her brain was as complex as a Timelords from what the scans had shown the Doctor, but how she was going to handle accessing these dormant sides of her mind was one of trial and error.  
He had no idea how far her abilities could stretch considering her being half-human biology and also the delayed mental teachings but so far she was excelling in everything he had thrown at her. 

River had already started her daily meditation to calm her mind as the Doctor had requested her to do before each lesson started to help support and free up her unused telepathic abilities.  
He entered the library silently and smiling at the sight of her on the floor perched on the comfy cushions like an Earthly buddist.  
He had never shown her this cross-legged position, they didn't use it...it was just plain weird. But River had taken it upon herself to make her meditations this way and he thought it was rather adorable in the fact that this was a Gallifreyan meditation but she had used an Earthly structure to support.  
Unique like her.

He sat down silently on the chaise in front of the grand fireplace to study her intently.  
They hadn’t kissed since the other day...well not in the passionate sense of the word. It was always just a quick peck on the lips or cheek.  
River hadn't said anything or pressurized him which he was eternally thankful for...but he'd be lying if he said that he didn't feel somewhat guilty about it.  
It was just so infuriatingly difficult to allow his body to give in to something he’d been strictly taught from an early age was wrong and primitively below him. Physical affection however much he craved it with her secretly was clearly a daily struggle to overcome. Not only that...he really didn't understand it very much...yes he knew the technical stuff of course, but he was afraid he would do it wrong.  
How often do Earthlings kiss? When was it suitable to extend one's affections to caress certain warm curvatures that beckoned to oneself to be touched. Was it rude if his hands slipped lower?  
Sex its self was a scary aspect, but did she expect him to...ya know...and when?  
He wasn't naive, just ill-informed and from a different planet that's all.  
There were a trillion different lifeforms out there each with their own mating habits and rituals, surely he could be forgiven for failing that class on universal primitive intimacy because he was absolutely uninterested at the time.  
Yes, he and Koschei had experimented as students. He thought it hellish and below him Rough, uncomfortable, disgustingly messy and even though he thoroughly enjoyed the last eight point five seconds of that sought after release. In the aftermath of it all, he felt dirty and all he wanted to do was wash thoroughly fifty times and hide for a month from shame and utter embarrassment.  
Would it be like that with her? Surly not...looking at her now she was an Angel by creation...He never had wanted any of those things with Koschei...but her...well with her he would be quite willing to re-analyze his first initial assessment of human physical relations. 

“You know it’s rude to stare!”

“I wasn't staring... I was patiently waiting for you to finish”  
She smiled giving a big stretch of her arms before standing up to go stand by the fireplace nearer to him. Trailing her fingers across the intricate stone etchings.

“I always loved this fireplace you know, i never thought to ask mum what these marking said, and i can’t seem to find a translation”

He stood to come closer to her, pointing it out…

“Its old high Gallifreyan...it reads...` A look is the fire itself`...”

She frowned a little and he smiled continuing to explain…

“It's meant as a reminder that words are only painted fire...that they can teach us things, tell us lies and truths but real knowledge, real knowledge can only be learned by looking into a person’s soul. By seeing the sorrow or happiness through their eyes”

She chewed on her bottom lip a little, teasing her finger over the words once more.  
He loved those fingers.

“Oh...hmm, but that's a little bit out of place considering we’re surrounded by a million books filled with nothing but words though isn't it?. Basically it's saying, don't believe all the crap you read but take notes from the people around you!”

The Doctor chuckled at her interpretation of the ten-thousand-year-old inscription …. 

“Yes i suppose it does...but i think it's more poetic the other way don't you think?”

She rolled her eyes a little. 

They were silent for a moment and the Doctor felt the need to brush a loose curl behind her ear, he just couldn't stop himself.  
She blushed a little which in turn made the rhythm of his hearts stutter before speeding up faster than before.  
He had to say something...once again he just couldn't help himself...God what was wrong with him.

“I’m sorry I've not...ya know…been like ..the other day when we...um ”

She knew exactly what he was referring to.  
She had been thinking about that exceptional kiss for every waking minute of the day but she also understood his pure rigid platonic Gallifreyan upbringing to some extent.  
And however much she desired him, she would never force anything upon him he was obviously uncomfortable with.  
Yes she joked around flirting with him and teasing and such ...but that's all that was.  
Just soft play. Perhaps a little wish of enticement.  
She cared way too much about him to risk pushing him away by pouncing on the guy, however much she always wanted to.

“It's fine...I understand, don’t worry about it so much Doctor. I just love being with you...near you, listening to your enthusiasm and watching your ridiculous energy as you bounce around the Tardis telling me things that I always wanted to know...I'm not expecting anything from you...just time that's all...little time...your friendship means everything to me, first and foremost and always will...”

He shook his head letting his hand drop, turning back to look at the fireplace.

“But I do worry River... I'm... I mean...i want.. I don't know if you want... but, i know want …well i want to...”

She couldn't help but smirk at his stuttering, he could be so incredibly cute sometimes. He was simply adorable.

“You want to what, Doctor?”

He flushed a little as he looked up to her as she was batting her eyelids to him innocently.  
Oh, holy Hell, there goes the fishing hook again and she's already reeling him in. She's either very talented or he loves the taste of those sugar lips so much he's just waiting to take another bite. Probably both!

He cleared his throat a little…he may as well just be honest about his lack of understanding when it came to physical human relationships.  
A man who considers himself to be highly intelligent and an expert in almost every field has to admit to his failings on some universal subjects at least... Even if it is a bit of an embarrassing one.  
He hopes to god Jack never finds out.

“I’m not sure exactly how to put it...but like you want to understand my ways...well...well i want to understand yours !”

She looked puzzled if anything...not quite sure where this was going but willing to proceed anyway.

“Oh...well what would you like to know...?”

He scratched his face a little before reaching out nervously to fiddle with a candlestick on the mantle…He completely avoids eye contact on purpose as he attempted to ask the question which was concerning him a great deal, but wanted to act blase about it. Like he was simply questioning the weather or something.  
That didn't go to plan when he stuttered like an idiot and couldn't control his fiddling fucking frantic fingers.

“I liked the erm kissy kissy thing...but i mean...is that...if, if i were ya know a,a human and you and i were ya know inclined to be um partnered together….would that constitute as a daily occurrence, like once a day maybe.....or...or is it a weekly thing to kiss ones intended like that?”

The slender candlestick on the beautiful golden holder snapped between his fingers.  
His eyes widened as he attempted to discreetly stick it back together again, but it wouldn't bloody stick so he left it to dangle down and prayed for a regeneration ASAFUCKINGP

River giggled at the flustering idiot.  
Grabbing his hand and tugging him over to sit on the chase with her where he was a little bit safer away from the other antiquities.  
When they were both sitting comfortable-ish she didn't jest but proceeded to answer his rather peculiar but genuine question.

“Kissing doesn't have a schedule Doctor...it's not a requirement or anything...it's just an impulse. A show of affection that can occur at any time day or night. It's a feeling and urge you must have felt it the other day or you wouldn't have...you know, done what you did...you know what I'm talking about right...?”

“Oh well...yes.”

“Did it feel wrong for you at the time...?”

“No...Not at the time no…”

“But it does now? Otherwise, you wouldn't be questioning it...”

“Yes, it does...because I’m not supposed to do things like that. I have always been taught to control my body, to be completely self-aware and shielded against allowing any sort of primitive undoing expressed like that. Besides which... I've never felt the need to before...but around you...its, it's completely overwhelming sometimes and i feel ashamed to admit it if I'm honest….I want to shield myself from you because that's what I’m supposed to do...but after all is said and done….i, i really don't want to do what I’m supposed to.!”

She nodded but smiled gently understanding…

“Um Doctor, you said `to kiss ones intended ` before...can I ask what you meant by that...you're not bound to me because you kissed me you know. if you wanted to you can still escape from this...whatever this is developing between us... your not tied down to me or anything you know because of it”

“But you are my intended I can see that now...or i wouldn't have done it would i?….You make me feel things I've never felt before River and more often than not i find myself questioning my own species on the matter and how we create our own family units in such a clinical cold and expected regime...That perhaps over many millennia we have shut down our own body's natural aphrodisiac and antidepressant off to the true understanding of what physical humanoid contact with another person can actually be like of equal desire and affection and what it can offer in relation to unprecedented happiness and love.  
It's all unbelievable really... I mean she was inexplicably clever how she adjusted your humanness to menace with my Gallifreyan like that, but it's teaching me so much River...i still don't know how she did it though, she really is amazing to alter your cells like that ... I mean it's biologically brilliant but still its….”

“What the hell are you on about Doctor?”

The Doctor brooded momentarily tracing back over his words questionably and quite quickly because River looked slightly agitated right now and that concerned him a great deal.  
His face suddenly paled as his heart sank….  
Oh shit he’d forgotten…  
He’d never explained it to her properly……

“Doctor?” 

He nervously ran a hand through his hair…

“Um, the Tardis, she...she interfered through your conception River...fueling you with vortex energy and altering your genetic makeup to interact with mine. She made you to connect with, well err...with me...She must have witnessed your parents love and i dunno...thought i was lonely or something...um i dunno her intentions are beyond me but... I err…please don't look at me like that….it doesn't matter...none of it matters River...”

River was silently staring like the Doctor had grown a third head...then she laughed hysterically …

“None of it matters? I don't believe this...You're kidding me right?... NONE OF IT BLOODY MATTERS?”

“River... it really doesn't we are who we are…why should that…..”

“YOU...SHUT UP DOCTOR, I'VE HEARD ENOUGH FROM YOU...”

She stood to start marching ...fumes radiating from her curly hood like an overheated car

“Is it true...am i nothing but an experiment you made to keep him occupied?”

The Tardis groaned

(`not an experiment child...you would have always been born, Melody Pond`)

River forgot about the Doctor in the library as she spoke to the stars in the high flowing ceiling. Her voice echoing in the rafters...

“But you changed me...You made me want him...Would i ever have wanted him if you hadn't?”

(`your destiny would always have been the Doctor...!`)

“You can’t know that….you can never know that and if it were really true then why did you even bother? You know what, don't tell me any more of your lies…. I think what hurts the most is that you've forced him to desire me when he really doesn't want to….. Christ... I’m not what he wants...hell we've argued enough times to prove that for certain. No wonder he tried to keep away from me before, to distance himself...you're forcing him into something he doesn't really want and now he thinks he has no choice in the matter….. Oh God, I feel sick...”

(‘You must understand my child. The Doctor's mind is uniquely complex ….But he would always have loved you no matter the blood running through your veins. You were always destined to unite through a mutually shared passion, I saw the path my child….But the Doctor would always have been saddened that he could never have fully bonded to you...He would have desired you in a way so deeply that your body chemistry would never have allowed. A connection and bond so deep with you it would have been unbreakable, even by death.  
This intense need would have torn you both apart in the end, leaving you both pained and in despair. I merely gave you the golden rope for that bond to occur child! Your feelings are real…. as are the Doctors.... I did not make them exist...you were always crossed to be in the stars...`)

“....yeah?....well I don’t believe it...any of it…”

She walked over to exit as the Doctor attempted to take hold of her hand to stop her retreat”

She flinched away from him as if burned...he practically crumpled inside.

“DON’T...You don't have to anymore Doctor…Put your shields up around me and leave them there because I’m not going to be a pawn in her little game anymore...and neither should you!”

She left him standing there feeling a loss like no other...He looked to the ground solemnly shaking his head...

“If she never accepts me in her hearts again.. I’ll never forgive you for this...i ... I think i love her...!”

(`you will always be in her heart’s my Thief and you always would have been...!`)

The Doctor closed his eyes briefly but said nothing further.

A few days later Ianto was in the kitchen brewing himself a coffee when The Doctor entered looking a little bit lost and drained. 

“Hi Ianto...Jack got you waiting on him again?”

Ianto smiled...

“No sir...Jack went to join River, she had another nightmare again and couldn't settle. He said they were becoming more frequent lately he's really worried about it...”

The Doctor sat down on the stool 

“Oh?... Hope she's ok”

Ianto turned, leaving the coffee to brew so he could analyze the Doctor …

”You two have been distant again, I don't think that's helping her very much to settle down and rest. I've noticed that she tries to avoid sleep as much as she can, but of course her body succumbs to it eventually. It's horrible to watch her fight it actually.”

“She won't talk to me Ianto...i can't help her if she won't see me...Besides, Jack was always better at the comfort thing to her than me, it's more natural to him..”

Ianto sighed…

“River told us what happened…. but i think….well i think the Tardis was right...you two would have ended up together anyway. Your personalities are so strong and you're both so incredibly passionate and intelligent that sometimes you clash yes...but in a good way. A way where you can both learn from each other and grow to figure things out together as a team. There's an effortless love and adoration beneath the both of you that cannot be produced artificially, only your both just too stubborn or stupid to see it.  
It's easy to see from the outside I guess, and when you argue it's like watching an old married couple, you disagree like anyone but i can still see the care and respect behind it all. You both look at each other with the same eyes sometimes it's uncanny how similar you really are. I've seen it for myself. The Pain, suffering, longing, desire, need, unconditional love...it's all right there between you both”

The Doctor ran a hand through his hair…

“Even if she did feel that way Ianto, it's over now. She doesn't believe that i even want her friendship let alone that i long for us to become more than...well...she thinks I’ve been forced into it because of her genetics.”

“Do you want her...like that, Doctor?”

The Doctor's response was swift and certain...

“Yes... without a doubt. I was afraid at first. I admit it ok....but i miss her Ianto, i can't lose her now... I can't...I don't know what to do... I don't know …I just...i need...!”

Ianto took a deep determined breath then took hold of the Doctor's hand pulling him up…

“Come with me…”

The Doctor was confused at first, but when he suddenly realized that Ianto was taking him to Rivers room he stopped abruptly, shaking his head adamantly as Ianto looked back to him”

Ianto pleaded with him…

“She can't sleep Doctor...Jack helps as much as he can...but it's not him she wants…Please...just trust me on this Sir, she needs you right now!”

The Doctor swallowed heavily unsure, but found his head nodded without his consent.

Ianto opened the door quietly and they walked into the darkened room, there was a small light on beside the bed.  
Jack had an arm around River who was curled up against him with her eyes closed resting. He saw the men enter and smiled as Ianto discreetly tilted his head towards the Doctor in an obvious silent communication.  
Jack winked to him, then beckoned the Doctor over as Ianto held a respectable distance by the door.  
The doctor was uncertain of what was happening here as he inched towards the bed nervously.  
Rivers Bed. 

Jack whispered..

“Take off your shoes Doc...were gonna swop places…”

He immediately stepped backwards shaking his head vigorously with eyes wide with a look of.. `NO WAY and ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY!`  
He loved River but getting into her bed while she slept was taking things a little too far..Don't you think?

Jack extracted himself gently and River almost sobbed at the loss.

“She asked for you not five minutes ago in her delirium Doc, it broke my friggin heart in two... so you will get those goddamn idiotic boots off right the fuck now and look after her. She needs `You` Doc!”

He could say nothing to that as he bent down with more than a slight huff to undo his boots. Muttering to himself in a whisper of agitation.

“Their nice boots Jack..practical running and climbing equipment…not those bloody flipflop thingys ive seen you wear round the pool Jack...Ha,..Now their idiotic...you probably invented them yourself with cardboard and string, Bloody primitive...idiot boots..huh..”

Jack rolled his eyes looking across to Ianto who was attempting to hold in a giggle at the Doctors rant over footwear.

After slipping them off however he forgot his nerves about what he was doing and lifted the covers back to climb in carefully under the watchful eyes of the other two men in the room.  
It was only when he was ensnared by Rivers arm around his torso and the snuggle of her head into his shoulder, that he immediately tensed at the strange situation he currently found himself in.  
She settled into him with a calming sigh but it was obvious now he could see the streaks on her face she'd been crying not too long ago.  
Breathing in her familiar but incomparable River song scent while enjoying the warm feel of her breath against his chest he relaxed within seconds as he wrapped his arm around her protectively pulling her closer to his side comforting his love as if it had become the most natural thing in the world to him.

“Shhh, you're safe, I've got you love... I'm here now..!”

The Doctor nodded across to Jack silently saying he’s got this now and Jack smiled over him proudly as a father would having just taught his son how to ride a bike without stabilizers.  
He left with a ridiculous grin and beaming Ianto.

The Doctor didn't sleep, still mesmerized where he was as he kept silent watch over River.  
But it was only just over an hour later when she began to stir unsettled again. 

“No, no…..dad……..….help……..please help……!”

“Shhh River….River wake up it's just a dream love….”

“No…........please…... I can’t find mum,.....shes hurt.....Where's Nanna?….Help…….Doctor help....”

The Doctor sat up gently trying to pull River away from her nightmare…

“I’m here….wake up love, you're safe in the Tardis River….its ok...”  
She gasped with a startle as the Doctor rubbed her arms in a comforting gesture to wake her...she came round to a concerned but familiar face looking down on her…

She blinked, disbelieving her own eyes at first then widened them and flew back a little alarmed by the Doctor's unexpected presence...

”Your not Jack”

He chuckled a little as he reached back to place a hand over her cheek tenderly. Silently pleading with her to not pull away any further.

“No...because if i was, i would surely be naked!”

She didn't laugh though...she just drew in her brows cautiously. That hurt.

“What are you doing here Doctor?”

He shrugged his shoulders a little, feeling a bit deflated and increasingly uncomfortable that she really didn't want him here by the looks of things. Perhaps Jack was who she needed after all…he looked down unable to hold her gaze any further...

“I just...they said you keep having these nightmares..i...i just wanted to help…”

She shook her head a bit sitting up to lean back against the headboard looking a little embarrassed. 

“Their just stupid dreams that's all…”

“I can't take them away because they're your memories River...but I can ease them for you...if you let me?”

“I said you don't have to do this Doctor!”

“I know I don't have to...I don't have to be or do anything I don't want to...you're forgetting one thing River...and you have to listen to me when I say this because it's important that you understand….. Nothing has claim over your free will River and nothing has claim over mine either. I want to help you because you're my friend and because you're important to me and it pains me to see you hurt in any way...why is that so hard to believe?”

“She's forcing you..you don't see it” 

He smiled lovingly…

“She's not forcing anything... I would always have seen you River, how could i not. Your hell in bloody high heels and I dig it...I rather like a bad girl me...who knew?.”

She couldn't help but laugh…

“You dig it?”

He smirked.

”one of Jack's old terms... I think i used it correctly...”

There was a moment of amused silence before the Doctor spoke up again with more confidence...she seemed at ease with his presence now and he tried to forget the little niggling detail that they were both in her bed,all casual like.

“So you gonna let me soothe your mind a bit to help you sleep tonight or what Miss Song?”

She chewed her lip a bit before sighing with a gentle nod of acceptance. She really was tired.

The Doctor smiled with relief and also gratitude that she was trusting in him yet again.

“Lie back down for me and close your eyes while focusing on your breathing.”

“Hmm It feels wrong doing this in my PJ’s...should i get naked for you?”  
He scoffed and tried not to blush...Epic fail...but it was dark so she couldn't see his now beetroot skin thank god. She did that on purpose...payback...Oy yes..he was learning this earth stuff.

“Oh, ok then... yes please...!”

Her eyes flew open by the unexpected reply…and he just pointed and laughed…

“HA….got you good….i did, didn't i.. I got you..? “

She threw her head back down to the pillow…

“Bastard!”

“But a clever, well-dressed, funny, and handsome one yes?”

She smirked with her eyes closed…but couldn't stop the reply...

“Yes!!....Idiot..”

Smiling looking down on her he began to reach out...

“deep breaths and count backwards silently from twenty, counting each slow breath.” 

She focused and began counting, 19…...18…the bed dipped and his cool fingers ran down the side of her face...17...16….they trailed back up to rest on her temples sending sensual shivers down her spine…..15...14….there was a warmth brewing inside her mind….a gentle nudging of a sunset settling upon her visual like a beautiful moving portrait.  
Stars of diamonds emerged and twinkled as the red sky blended with black.  
Before she entered the beautiful dream realm of space for a time she imagined or thought she imagined the gentle graze of familiar lips against hers and a whispered echo of his tender voice beckoning her soul... “...... I love you...”  
Dream or no dream...she really hoped she remembered that part!


	14. Scary connection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I kept on changing the way this chapter went. Argh.   
> why am i making it so bloody complicated? I guess i just trying to write the Doctor as being true to his species and represent the struggle of differences and how he and River interpret love and affection in their own unique ways. I think im confusing myself with this one LOL
> 
> Love comments and kudos x

River woke peacefully feeling embraced by a comforting presence.   
Upon opening her eyes slowly in an unusual relaxed state she became aware of a few things.  
The first thing she noticed was the gentle puffs of warm air blowing against the back of her neck.   
The second thing she noticed was the arm currently slung around her waist rather firmly and that the hand attached to that said arm rested against her skin under the fabric of her top possessively.  
The third thing she noticed was the feel of...Oh...um...ok...that's totally unexpected Timelords must get those too in the mornings she presumed.   
She smirked to herself and wriggled cheekily back into him a little. Because she just couldn't help herself could she?  
The Doctor groaned a little lazily thrusting once before she felt him immediately freeze to a statue and the warm puffs of air practically ceased to exist as he stopped breathing his life's required breath.  
She froze herself in that moment wondering what on earth he might do...and was he going to take in oxygen soon before he passed out... because seriously she was begging to worry about that.   
Did he think she was still sleeping?  
Should she pretend to be out cold just to make it easier and less awkward for him?   
Well this is a little...erm predicament!

He moved his arm off her slowly. Silently.  
Pulling away from her body and she felt the loss of his presence like a second skin she didn't know she required to feel right.  
She felt him move further...before he spoke a little bit jittery in his voice she noticed.

“It's ok... I know you're awake River...your breathing is different!”

She rolled over to see him sitting facing away from her. His legs on the floor now...probably ready to do a runner any second she thought.   
He didn't look at her though..but spoke once more!

“Um...how are you feeling? Did you sleep any better?”

She sat up a little…feeling quite refreshed actually.

“Yes...i...i really do feel a lot better for that. Thank you, whatever you did it really helped me a lot!”

“Mmm ...Your welcome!”

She noticed the Doctor's breathing, his shoulders rising and falling in measured control breaths. His head bowed down intense concentration.   
He probably had his eyes closed in focus too, she imagined.

She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder concerned by his actions and he gasped tensing further almost flinching at the touch.

“Doctor... are you ok?”

“What?..Oh..Yes, yes i’m fine...just ….I'm fine ok…. just give me a minute…”

Honestly did he think she was stupid or something because this really wasn't fine was it….

“What wrong?”

“Nothing...just need a second to wake up properly that's all. Don't sleep that much so im feeling a bit groggy from the whole thing. Sometimes you can sleep too much ya know!.”

He leaned over himself, elbows resting on his knees placing his head in his hands now, in what looked to be a state of extreme anxiety.  
That was enough as she climbed off the bed to see him better getting increasingly worried by his strange unusual behavior.   
He panicked as she came around the front of him to bend down meeting his level. Placing a gentle hand on his knee.

“River don't….please... I’m fine, really...i...!”

She noticed him squirming and trying to cover himself...and that's when it finally twigged…  
Ok morning erections aren't that normal for a Timelord.  
He had never replaced his shields around her and now he was confused by his own body’s natural reactions. She silently cursed upon every Gallifreyan whoever taught the Doctor that this kind of natural response should be contained like it was something to be ashamed of. 

“It's ok Doctor...this... reaction with your shields down, it's all completely normal you know. Honestly there's nothing wrong about it believe me, it's quite flattering if anything...”

He cleared his throat a little…  
His hand held tightly onto the cover over his already clothed manhood like it was a python ready to strike out and kill something.

“Can you err...can you please get Jack or Ianto for me...please….just them...not...not you...this is...its man stuff, yes?...For men only i think...?”

She just wanted to kiss his bloody cheeks all over right now because even though his embarrassment was certainly evident, he was clearly upset and disturbed by everything he was feeling right now.

“Ok...but we are going to discuss this later Doctor because it's one of my favorite topics and I certainly can’t let you boys have all the fun now can i?...But you know sweetie i could get rid of it for you rather quickly if you let me?”

The Doctor bit out his words ...because clearly she didn't notice that he was going to die any second now as his dick was going to explode internally or something and Rivers messed up morning hair looked so bloody adorable and she smelled so incredibly heavenly like summer mountains after a rainfall...and what did she just say...bloody hell what on Gallifrey could she possibly mean by that...No...NO...

“River...RIVER… stop it ...Now go...far far away please..Jack or Ianto yes…?”

“Fine.. if i must...”

She rolled her eyes a little, placing a tender kiss to his forehead and ruffled his hair like an adorable child before she left.  
The Doctor shivered at the touch, then cursed mighty Gallifreyan expletives at the twitch...

A few moments later Jack came in and it was certainly obvious River had already told him what the problem was because Jack was clearly having a battle at his own self-control in attempting to keep a straight face as he approached the apparently dying Doctor.   
He crouched down with a very heavy sigh, lifting the Doctor's eyelids and pretending to look at his pupils like some sort of specialist.

“Well now... what seems to be the problem Mr Smith...You seem to have a bit of a fever i see...could be Erotic in nature”

He then proceeded to take hold of his wrist checking his pulses.

“Hmm... yes..thought so...i could prescribe you with one of four treatments to cure this little ailment of yours. I fuck you, you fuck me, blow job or handy-pandy...what's your pleasure?”

HE WAS DYING….COULDN'T HE SEE HE WAS DYING HERE OF PENIS IMPLOSION...EXPLOSION ...WHATEVER...!!!

“Jack, please... This is not funny...please it's serious just make it go away right now...I don't like it...It's not right!”

He sighed, perhaps he should be a little bit more understanding and sensitive in the moment about this. But it was certainly one to be filed away for a later date that was for sure.  
This was FUCKING EPIC, aww his little man all grown up…  
He wished he had a camera actually to record this monumental event!

He grabbed the doctor's arm pulling him up…

“Come on ya winy wee virgin….”

The Doctor struggled to use his legs as he was unsure he could actually walk with this thing throbbing heavily between his legs...he stumbled along behind as Jack dragged him through to the ensuite…

“I’m not a virgin…..Jack….what are you…..Jack…. NO...AHHHHHHHH STOP….JA….ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH”

Jack simply flipped the cold tap of the shower and threw the Doctor under it like a dirty damn dog after a roll in the mud.   
Well, that was just brutal.  
He tried to escape the confines of the ice-cold water but Jack held him firmly by the scruff as the Doctor screamed high pitched like a girl.  
After a moment or two he flipped the lever back releasing the Doctor who was now shivering, shocked and actually quite seething...

“HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND COMPLETELY…. WHAT KIND OF GAME ARE YOU PLAYING JACK ….YOU STUPID IMMORTAL GORILLA... ARE YOU MENTAL???… THAT WAS COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY TO MANHANDLE ME LIKE THAT…YOU...YOU….YOU....”

Jack smirked as he threw the towel playfully into the doctor's face to shut him up.

“Your healed sir. That will be eighty-five credits and a packet of jelly babies please!”

The Doctor looked confused at first but then looked down to gander over his groin that was now so cold it had probably shriveled up and died of hypothermia...But he had survived and he was so bloody relieved that he didn't have to have sex with Jack now.   
Oh Thank God.

“Oh..oh ...that's...oh that's….thank god…is...is that what you do Jack...do you have a cold shower when that happens?”

The Doctor was completely serious and Jack wanted to burst out into hysterical laughter but was somewhat mature-ish in his response.   
Being brutally candid was mature right?

“What no chance in hell I would ever waste a good boner like that Doc....I prefer to start the day off with a smile on my face by jerking off with my hand if I'm alone or playing with Ianto and his stopwatch to try and beat our record…Do you have any idea how talented that guy is with his tongue?”

The Doctor looked like a deer caught in the headlights.   
Poor thing, Jack took pity on him.  
Pulling his arm around the Doctor's soaked and shivering frame. 

“Come on Doc... i’ll get us a nice warm cuppa and we can have a nice little chat about the birds and the bees.I'll get Ianto to do it, those welsh vowels are really quite something!”

“Hmm It sounds like fun…. Especially the bees, but why do I sense this is a trick of the words!”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was way after lunch when River stumbled upon the Doctor again. Finding him hiding under the console absorbed in a book.

“There you are. I made you an omelet with your favorite Trunkiki eggs ...”

The Doctor peered up through the grating with his glasses perched on the edge of his nose how any intellectual would wear them. He looked rather sexy in those.

“Oh, um sorry. Lost track of time”

“Lier...Don’t worry about it though... Jack ate it for you”

She climbed underneath to sit next to him unreserved so he shuffled away a bit but she merely shuffled closer.

“River!!”

“What?”

He sighed

“Nothing”

“What are you reading anyway?”

“This….Ianto gave it to me…”

“Ohh, what's it about?”

“Oh, um...Stuff..”

She leaned in closer to get a better inspection of the unknown manual...

“Sexual stuff?”

“Oy...RIVER!”

“What...?”

He huffed dramatically as she continued to play innocent. 

“Argh...Nothing”

She smiled…  
There was a slight silence before she could no longer take it...

“I’m proud of you ya know...keeping your shields down like that...I can feel you haven't put them back in place even after your struggle this morning. It really is brave of you and ...Heyyy...don’t look at me like that,... I'm not making fun here. I can't begin to imagine what it's like to be closed off and then well...just...there's no need to hide from me ok...I get it..”

He sighed heavily, closing the book.   
Even if he didn't want to discuss his err `little/BIG` situation this morning she was attempting to comfort him and that meant a lot more than his unease with the subject matter.

“I’m sorry River...I was embarrassed it happened. It's just…. I'm so used to being in control of myself it's all I know how to be River...I didn't like it...I still don't... but at the same time, I don't want to give in to it either. I don't want to shield myself off from my own body anymore because It can't be the right way...it simply can't be can it?

She took his hand, lacing her fingers tenderly with his making him smile for the first time today.  
She sighed relief internally that he allowed her to do this and was unfearing of it too.   
She had noticed that hand-holding had always been something he did unconsciously... usually when lost in thought or attempting to show her something spontaneously without thinking fully about his actions.  
This was something he had once told her was simply for children, yet watching the delight dancing in his eyes as their fingers entwined to fit without flaw, she realized it was always the physical gesture of the act itself that he had always craved.   
That this was a natural calling itself as the proof that he required touch like breath.   
The simple connection of physical interaction that had always been either denied to him or shunned as indecent by the Gallifreyans around him.   
Gee’s, no wonder he was so highly strung with a mix of madness and mental predicament, living in your own head every day and not in your body was enough to send anyone insane!

“No, it's not the right way and you need to stop over analyzing everything because it's not helping your situation right now!”

“Ah but you see that's where the problem lies River...my species, that's what we do, we over-analyze everything to great length, in microscopic detail. I’m wired to do so, i can't stop it...that's as natural to me as breathing.   
I still don’t know how Amy did it...well, no...I kinda do actually. She was always a wild child that one.  
Even the professors stuttered sometimes.   
But your dad...errr Rory….he was a full human and yet she managed a full and proper human relationship with him. Were they...ya know...very happy,....was she happy, i hope very much she was happy?”

River reflected on the bright past with enthusiasm and love before the darkness had taken hold.

“Yes Doctor... They were very happy together. She loved him very much and he loved her with a passion. Even if she was a bit of a handful so to speak. “

He chuckled a little at that..

“Mmm.. I guess your irrefutable proof of that aren't you little Pond..”

She laughed a bit, shrugging ..

“I guess...but i do blame her for my sass..”

The doctor looked down to their joined fingers once more.   
He flushed a little at the humanywomany physicality of it all, tripping his mind into the, well, to him, a rather complex idea of leaning in to kiss her for another go.   
It was completely outrageous!   
But she had tasted so good and he could not get that irritating little fact off his mind right now or ever since. It was an itch he was so utterly desperate to scratch.   
She had felt so soothing and exciting and dangerous and inviting all in the swish and touch of their tongues playing tig in a playground of explosive adventure.  
He shuffled a bit to adjust himself of his tightening discomfort …  
`Oh shit...please no not again`...  
But before he could get up to do a runner, River reached across him to slide the glasses carefully off his nose.   
Blimey, why does she always have to smell so freaking delectable?  
Must. Not. Breathe!

“I like these Doctor...they look like my mothers”

He cleared his throat a little at the increasing closeness and graze of her arm on his chest. Her warmth radiated through the fabric of his shirt which he envisioned disappearing entirely to touch skin against skin.   
She folded the glasses unconcerned by his frozen state and halted breathing, placing them directly to the side on top of his now deserted and long-forgotten book.  
Oh god, what was the first page again? Fuckity…what was it Jack said about first base this morning and why didn't he think to write it on his bloody hand with a sodding permanent marker?

“They, er...they were her’s’. We shared them sometimes...!”

She smiled with an increasing intensity that seemed to know a lot more than he did in that second.   
She looked amused!

“Like we share you Doctor?”

“No...no you're different... I loved your mother, incredibly so...but you...your…uh..……...more…”

She smirked...

“Oh? ...You like me more than a friend then Doctor, is that what you're saying?”

His face went scarlet pink in the moment…

“Your...you... you're teasing me aren't you Song?”

She leaned in a little closer, so close in fact that he could feel the warmth of her breath on his lips even though he had long since succumbed to be drugged in her aura and flirtatious energy that surrounded him. Oh Yes, already a goner he feared.

“Yes...perhaps a little... I just can't resist it...resist you...!”

“Your naughty...!”

“I know...!”

“Hmm... so are we dating now...is this a date because Ianto said i should really bring flowers?... He's an old romantic!”

She shrugged a little...

“I wouldn't know!”

And she wouldn't…  
And the more the Doctor thought about it the more his hearts shattered for her.   
River’s life on Earth had been less than normal.   
A young pretty girl swooning over boys, laughing with her friends.   
Getting that first special kiss at the High school dance wearing the most beautiful dress bought by her proud father and chosen along with her excited mother that brought out the wonderful colour of her eyes. But stunning as always.  
She had probably never even been given flowers or chocolates before.  
Never taken on trips to the cinema or offered a candlelit dinner for two in the finest restaurant in town.   
Never had romantic strolls walking hand in hand barefoot along the sunkissed sand at sunset whilst chatting over everything and nonsense with her lover.  
Things that were always so trivial to most and who could never understand its true value...but to River, these things never existed. She never knew what she was missing anyway, so it didn't matter to her….

But it did….. It did to him…. Because she deserved everything and more!

He pressed a hand to her cheek loving the way she leaned into it spontaneously with all her unprecedented trust and wholeness of belonging to him. She accepted him as everything he ever was or simply could be. 

“You will get those flower’s my River...”

He was completely certain of that fact as he closed in the gap between them to kiss her fully with unreserved passion that was quick to ignite further and combust into flame.  
Blimey... he was getting rather good and confident at this kissing business.   
He was also glad they were still sitting because he already felt weak at the knees from it, no wonder they say you always feel sated afterwards.   
This was some very rigorous exercise.   
After a sensual snogfest under the console like a couple of school kids playing nookie...i mean hookie, from class they broke apart mutually gasping for air.   
The Doctor’s hand caressing her cheek itching to just reach for her temples to do the unthinkable.   
She smelled delicious, heavenly scent whipping his senses to moronic delirium.   
Get a hold of yourself Doctor...your a Timelord for christ sakes.  
Desperate and overcome with lust and telepathic desire that couldn't be fulfilled.  
River felt his presence along her mind like gentle fingers stroking along her subconscious thoughtfully with a nervous, almost betraying undercurrent.   
She reached out instinctively to touch upon his temples, but he was quick to grab her wrists to halt the action with immediate effect.

“NO..stop...We mustn't...!”

She frowned. A little confused by his stern refusal to continue things along a little further.

“Why not...it's your primary way isn't it? Show me how?”

”You don't understand River its....Err how do i even explain this,...what you're talking about there is an Endearment connection...It's primarily about trust and understanding of one's mate. To allow yourself to express the feelings and emotions you share about the person you're connected to….   
It's um….it's an extremely intense mental contact...not like the little trivial things we’ve been practicing in the library. This is what two people would do, say if they were ...well…it's too early for any of that... but what i mean to say is, that its a mental union of emotional expression and exploration. Very intimate.   
It's not something you just do under the console like the kissy-kissy thing.”

She rolled her eyes…

“So you're a prude... I get it...But i’m not asking you to get stark bollock naked am i? So honestly, i don't see what the problem is”

She reached out for him again like it was no big deal, but he batted her hand away instantly, his anger in her lack of understanding of what it meant clearly evident now.   
This was the problem wast it...Earth and Gallifreyan a mix that shouldn't have happened and this was one of the reasons why, thrown into his face like a lava rock that hurt like hell and scorched upon impact. A blatant reminder of their species crossing the unknown.  
The Doctor stood up with a huff, leaving her a little stunned by the hasty departure before she followed suit up to the control room.  
She felt bewildered by his sudden change from endearingly loving to angry crazed lunatic all in a matter of seconds.

He stalked around the console flipping switches and pressing leavers with brutal force, constantly apologizing internally to the Tardis for his manhandling her in such a disrespectful manner. But he needed to do things with his hands and they were the closest instruments on offer.   
The Tardis did a silent eye-roll to him; she probably developed that new signature from River causing another large huff to escape his lips. You women stick together now... is that how it is?

River flapped her hands dramatically to get him out of his silent communication with the box.

“What the hell have I done now?”

His eyes flickered up to her before crashing back down to his fingers as they slammed over a few more buttons. Preferably all the biggest and reddest ones he could find.  
God only knows what on earth was happening on deck seven right now but it wasn't going to be pretty.

“Oh gee let me think. What was it again... Oh yes, i remember now…. you asking me to perform the Gallifreyan equivalent of sexual intercourse under the console like some unrestrained wild beast... I mean really?... You and your bloody primitive human indecency's and lack of respectable restraint infuriate's me to the core. What you were basically saying to me just now by your horrendously brutal Earthly suggestion was, as the rather frank captain would say .. `come on let's have a quick fuck under the console while no ones looking`….  
HA...Well if you just wanted a quick taster of exciting sexual release i’m not your man little Miss badass…  
Go run along and see Jack or Ianto for that or i know perhaps that guy you made that deal with for that Alpha meason Blaster that you're currently so fond of...That only took an hour of your time didn't it... I'm surprised it took that long actually...Perhaps he has more of them on offer. You like things quick and to the point don't you? But bravo for the commitment into getting what you wanted but sorry, it won't work with me.  
I have a particular respectability of Gallifreyan origin and rather highly regarded morels I tend to stick by thank you very much…  
I was Married you know. Did it ever occur to you that my wife Ramona was my only and last Enderement connection...Did you ever think about that?...  
No... No, because you're too bloody human that you wouldn't have would you…  
Urgh...your all urges and stifling pressurized sexual chemicals begging for release i can smell the arousal on you trying to blind my senses to succumb to your every whim.   
It’s driving me up the wall i tell you... I nearly gave in to it too...HA ..What a laugh...But no, No an endearment connection under the console is so unthinkable it's sacrilege to a point of utter disgrace... I mean honestly you apes you think you're all so…..”

“SNAPP”

“ARGHHHHHHHHH”

The Tardis sent a volt of electricity so violently he almost went into cardiac arrest right then and there as he keeled over falling down to one knee with a thud.

“THAT HURT...WHAT THE HELL ?”

There was silence….he looked around confused… Oh…. `OH`... The room was empty…

The Doctor ran his hands over his face growling to himself...until the Tardis finally spoke out.

(`CRUEL!….`)

He got up off his knee shaking his head, his hearts sinking to the pit of his stomach like lead balloons.

“I know….i.. I know….”

(`Only curious my Thief…)

He sighed heavily feeling sick to the core...God he had said the most horrible and hurtful things to her.

“I know ... I know she was. I didn't mean it...It's me that's confused, not her. She was just being River. Intrigued, spontaneous, playful, and just wanted to learn the way……”

(`She only wanted to be what you needed. To love you in all ways possible. Not a disrespect to the Enderement that's dear`)

He closed his eyes…

“I know….i know…. I blamed my own internal frustrations onto her……………………………..I'm scared sexy, i want it... I really do but…... I’m scared of the Endearment again...!”

“Tell her”

“I cant….”

“You can my Thief...You will!”


End file.
